doesntsing | open post

I’m willing to try your cooking, Jaskier.

With you there? Probably a ton. How quickly will Geralt get annoyed?

Then we have a deal, my witty lady. What is the animal of your choice? (Anything but squirrels, please, they're so chewy.)

Being around horses will keep him distracted. And if Ciri comes too, his attention will be on her. Speaking of my family, did you text Yennefer?

Uh. Beef. Or chicken.

I try to keep Kosher, which is a Jewish way of eating and has certain rules. I’m not always perfect at it, because some forbidden foods are delicious, such as bacon.

Squirrels are not Kosher.

Not yet! I’ll do it tomorrow if you think she’s ready for it.

The answer takes a few minutes to arrive because, first, Jaskier has to rant to Geralt about religions controlling what you eat. Geez, what else comes next?

Brisket is cow, correct? Then I shall get chicken. Is there anything else I should know about these 'rules'? I don't want to be afraid of getting you chocolates again.

Please do. She needs friends, especially lady friends. The mall will be fine if you need a place to meet, she'll like the makeup counter and the fancy dresses. But if you have lunch or tea, choose somewhere nicer, not a diner. (And let me know how it goes, or I'll die of gossip deficiency.)

Jaskier, it’s fine. She’s choosing to do this, and she’s practical enough that if her options were to eat bacon or starve, she’d eat the bacon.

I’m not supposed to eat meat and dairy together, so a cheeseburger, for example (also delicious), or drinking milk while eating meat. Chocolates are fine.

I have a few ideas. I’ll text her tomorrow.

Oh. That's simple enough.

Geralt has finally freed the shower, so I need to get rid of the miniature swamp on my head before the smell gets stuck in my clothes. Straight to bed after that, since we're waking up at sunrise.

Talk to you later, darling. And good luck with the witch.

The next day, however, Jaskier doesn't answer any of her texts. Same on Wednesday. If Midge worries too much and asks Yennefer, she'll tell her it's normal. Magic may interfere with the signals, or Geralt may've demanded that all devices be off. Noises may attract dangerous things.

It isn't until Thursday evening that Yennefer writes to Midge with some news: the mighty heroes are back... and Jaskier is sick. It's not serious, just a cold - well, not a normal cold, exactly. Because he was stung by the monster, and while that usually can be easily healed by an antidote, this time the poison has mixed with this world's cold virus, mutating it into something new. Some Yennefer has to do some research to create a new potion. Jaskier isn't in any danger, but he is a bit delirious. If it wasn't for his sick face, she'd almost find it funny.

I’ll try not to think about your body all wet. Have a good day tomorrow.

Midge does worry a bit when she doesn’t hear from him for a few days, but Yennefer reassures her that it’s normal. They make plans to get together next week.

She’s alarmed when she hears that Jaskier is sick. Midge doesn’t want to impose too much. She asks Yennefer if she minds if Midge comes to see him, and the witch agrees.

After cooking up a batch of matzo ball soup, she puts it in a casserole dish and carries it in a taxi over to where Jaskier and his family live.

It's hardly imposing when this is exactly what the family needs - Yennefer and Geralt just happen to suck at asking for help. So when Midge offers to come by, she's doing them a big favor. Yennfer asks her to come in the morning, that way she can watch over Jaskier after Geralt and Ciri are gone and Yen can concentrate on developing the potion.

When Midge makes it to the address Yennefer gives her, she'll find a typical Manhattan house. Realistically, newbies like them shouldn't have been able to acquire such a house so quickly. But the place was haunted and barely standing when they arrived; the owner was desperate to get rid of it. So they got it for cheap by throwing an exorcism for free.

It went from 'barely standing' to 'gorgeous' thanks to Yennefer's magic, and the previous owner hates them for it. Inside, Midge will find a very nicely decorated house that shouldn't surprise anyone who has seen how Jaskier and Yennefer dress. They keep the 'average' looking exterior not to get more attention.

Yennefer gives Midge the quick rundown: kitchen on the first floor, a bathroom on each floor, bedrooms upstairs - Jaskier's the third one on the left. The room at the back of the first floor is the magic/potion room, so Midge should stay away from it unless she needs something, and then she should just knock and quickly step back for her own safety. The herbs and the flowers in the garden should be watched at a safe distance, too, unless she has a guide.

When Midge knocks on Jaskier's room, she'll hear a grunted 'yeah' as an answer. Inside, she'll find a mound of blankets on the bed, hiding an annoyed bard.

The inside of the house is impressive and Midge tells Yennefer so. Perhaps it’s sexist to presume that she’s responsible for the interior design. Jaskier might have had a hand in it as well.

Before she goes upstairs, Midge asks for a pot so that she can reheat the soup on the stove. It can simmer for a bit before she takes some to Jaskier. That done, Midge is lead to the sick bard’s room. She smiles at his response. Apparently he didn’t know she was coming over.

Midge opens the door a crack. “It’s Midge. May I come in?”

"Midge?" It takes his feverish head a second to process the information. He moves the blankets just enough to take a peek, revealing his hair to be a mess. She's a sight for sore eyes, yet he can't find the right words to express how happy he is to see her. Ugh, he hates being sick.

"I want to see you," he manages to say. The words are a bit slurred. "But don't want you to see this. Too nasty." He frowns. "Dunno how to do both." Definitely a bit delirious over the fever, just like Yen said.

She’s never seen his hair look this disheveled. He must be really sick.

“You could cut a hole in the sheet,” Midge offers, trying not to laugh. She steps into the room but doesn’t move any closer to the bed yet. “I promise I won’t judge you on how you look.”

"Everyone judges me on how I look," he instantly replies, definitely not calculating his words very much today. If he was rational, he'd tell her he could pass the cold to her and therefore to her kids. But he isn't. He desperately wants her to hold him. "Come onnnnnn, sit down."

A hand peeks out to point at the reading chair that Geralt left next to the bed last night.

Midge sits down on the chair, looking at the lump under the sheet and trying to keep her distance. She’d prefer that neither she nor her kids get sick.

“You’re really going to stay under there the whole time?” she asks skeptically. “How are you supposed to eat soup like that?”

"I'm not hungry," he replies with slurred words. However his body reacts to her tone, so he lowers the blankets down to his neck to at least show his face. He's very pale, with bags under his eyes and a runny nose. He offers a little smile at her, because that's the effect she has on him. "Hey, pretty thing. You're making me feel uglier than I already do."

“I made you some matzo ball soup, but you can eat it later.”

He looks bad, of course, but he’s sick. Midge has dealt with sick kids and a sick husband before. She feels a pang of sympathy and smiles back.

“Apparently this is more than just a typical cold?” she asks.

"...I do want to try your food." He pouts. Today is full of contradictions.

Jaskier waits for a gesture of disgust, but she doesn't even wrinkle her nose. Usually, he'd know her better, but the current dizzy state of his brain means he's having funny thoughts, like wondering if she bottled up her real reaction.

"Yeah. Fucker stung me. And now Geralt is doing that thing where he lets guilt make him look like a kicked dog. If he could pout, he would."

“He feels guilty?” Midge grins. “I guess he really does care about you.”

She has a look around Jaskier’s room, noticing that his lute has a prime place of honor. “I told Yennefer that your house is very nice.”

He nods. "Now he just needs to get better at showing it."

Jaskier's room is as nicely decorated as the rest of the house. Art hangs on the walls, he has a very large mirror, his own radio and record player, and a walk-in closet. His desk is cluttered with a bunch of piles of paper, plus a combination of both pens and quills.

He should thank her for the compliment, share a story about getting the house and all, but his brain is being dumb today. Jaskier frowns. "...did she drag you here?"

Of course he has a huge mirror. That’s the least surprising feature of the room.

Midge furrows her brow at his question. “No… we spoke last week to set up plans to get together and she told me that you probably hadn’t texted me back because of bad service on the monster hunt.” Was it desperate of her to even ask why he hadn’t texted her back? Jaskier technically didn’t owe her a response. “Then the next day she told me that you were sick and I asked her if it was alright to come see you.” A beat. “Maybe I should have asked you.”

Maybe he doesn’t want her here.

"Oh." Well, he feels silly now. When she says she should've asked, he immediately shakes his head, which doesn't help with his headache. "Nonono! I want you here. Seeing you makes me happy." Not even right now, just... in general. "I was worried they dragged you to be my nanny. Although you're much better than my old nanny. Gods, I hated that bitch." So much random rambling. Then his eyes widen. "Or maybe they're pranking me." He suddenly giggles. "I brought a girl to my room. I broke the rules."

Yes, he's implying she's the first lover in this world who has seen his house.

“Your nanny wasn’t some poor old granny?” Midge asks, smiling again. She’s glad that he wants her here.

“You did. Unfortunately for you, it’s not going to be a conjugal visit.”

Jaskier definitely seems loopy and out of it. Maybe it’s the fever.

"I wish. I could've outrun a poor old granny." He rubs his eyes as he thinks about the old days, the fever completely messing with his boundaries. "She wasn't even a nanny. I called her that to piss her off. And governess was harder to pronounce."

He laughs at her joke, although it quickly transforms into lots of coughing. "Would you believe me if I say I'm not in the mood? My whole body is sore. Even my pinky."

Midge raises an eyebrow when he says the word governess. “So she was more like a tutor?” Perhaps it’s wrong to try to get information about how he grew up out of him while he’s sick, but Midge doesn’t think she’s pressing too hard.

“I’m actually shocked,” she replies. “You must be on death’s door.”

"Mmm-mmh. Always with a ruler ready to smack." He winces at the memory. "Father liked how strict she was. I still wonder if he ever fucked her."

The same thing happens then: laughing ends up in a coughing fit. "Does that make you the angel that came for my soul?"

Despite not knowing his father or the governess, Midge doesn’t really want to picture that. “Was he unfaithful to your mother?” she asks.

Reaching out, she puts her hand to Jaskier’s head. He’s warm. “You’re not dead yet, are you?”

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