Later when Jaskier is in the tub trying to get rid of the fucking smell, he does panic a little. He reacted on a whim, eager to stab Joel where it hurts.
But he also remembers Midge's amazing smile and the very cute squeak, and thinks it's worth it to make her so happy. She deserves to have an emotional shield at that fucking wedding if her whole family is going to act like Joel did today. He remembers his childood during events like that, and he wants to save her from the same fate.
The way it makes his heart beat is dangerous. And like the dumbass he is, he ignores it.
Jaskier is about to fall asleep in the tub when he gets Midge's text. He smiles.
Of course. I wouldn't joke about something like that.
I didn’t give him much of a chance to say anything, mostly because I didn’t want to fight with him. For whatever reason, he can’t believe we’re having sex, or that you’re going to Leah’s wedding.
Well, now it seems like he’s actually excited to go. Midge wishes he’d been that excited when it was just him going as her date.
That should be fine. I told her you’re the biggest thing in New York’s club scene right now.
I don't know what aspect of my persona he can't believe, therefore I don't know if being flattered or insulted. Alas.
It sounds like Joel is properly annoyed, at the very least, so Jaskier counts it as a win.
He laughs when he notices what she omitted in her reccomendation. Smart girl.
I love it when you're so witty. Thank you, darling. I owe you one. Would you send me your cousin's number? For business, I promise. I should introduce myself and discuss music preferences with her.
It finally hits him, then.
So your whole family knows about your plus one now?
Your… old-fashioned-ness. He just didn’t think I would… date, someone whose sensibilities seem to come from 400 years ago. Of course, he doesn’t know you.
[Leah’s number]
Yes, I’ve told my parents, since I figured Joel would if I didn’t. They want to meet you, of course.
I won’t make you, if you’d rather wait until the wedding.
Having to meet her parents should push him into panic. But now that he's agreed to go to the wedding and a be shield against her family, this is nothing. He's already too deep.
That pause between texts isn't very long.
Let's do it. Better do things the right way now so the wedding will go well. Dinner at your place?
He didn’t think I would like all of that courtly stuff. I told him he was wrong. I can appreciate a gentleman.
As I said, he doesn’t know you.
This complete turn around in Jaskier has Midge cautiously hopeful. It seems like he’s finally decided that her family doesn’t mean him any harm. That makes her happy. Happier than it probably should.
I also like the very ungentlemanly things you do to me in bed.
My father is a retired Columbia math professor. He’s very by the book and thinks that he’s always right, but he’s surprisingly forward-thinking. You could always bring up the piano.
Mama will be impressed with your manners, so have them on display. A little flattery will help too, but don’t overdo it.
There lies the problem. Joel is no gentleman. And he isn't ungentlemanly enough to bend you over and fuck you so hard that you forget we're coming on your dress.
I'm not sure I want to discuss music with a "by the book" man, but I'll keep it in mind. Flattering your mother will be much easier.
Well, I’m 27 and divorced, not 16 and never been kissed. I had my wedding and they have their grandkids. They shouldn’t be pushing you for any kind of commitment, in my opinion. It’s not even going to come up. I’ll lay out the ground rules before you even get there.
Don't take me wrong, I don't believe you think like them or that they'll change your mimd about me. I just want you to have realistic expectations about how the evening may go. Possibly the wedding too.
Also it seems I'm going to have lunch with your cousin tomorrow. Tell me a Jewish restaurant I can take her to.
Hey, I know I joked earlier, but the part about always helping people is true. And we got paid, so it's not like we did charity.
That said!
Mayhaps I do deserve that special thanks, considering I am still in the tub scrubbing the stench off. My beautiful skin is red and I don't have you to kiss it better. I demand compensation, missy.
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But he also remembers Midge's amazing smile and the very cute squeak, and thinks it's worth it to make her so happy. She deserves to have an emotional shield at that fucking wedding if her whole family is going to act like Joel did today. He remembers his childood during events like that, and he wants to save her from the same fate.
The way it makes his heart beat is dangerous. And like the dumbass he is, he ignores it.
Jaskier is about to fall asleep in the tub when he gets Midge's text. He smiles.
Of course. I wouldn't joke about something like that.
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Though she might be heartbroken.
But it’s going to be a good weekend. I’ll make sure of it.
Also… I have a job for you. Better than the last job for you.
It seems that Leah had lost her wedding singer and is looking for another one at the last minute.
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He was NOT a good boy in any other aspect, but details.
The job offer takes him by surprise. He gets so excited as he celebrates that water splashes all over the bathroom floor.
Are you serious? Count me the fuck in! Midge, I have no words to thank you. Fuck, I need to go shopping.
Ah - for a party that big, I shall take backup musicians. Will that work? Will they pay us all? Elves won't be an issue, will they?
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I didn’t give him much of a chance to say anything, mostly because I didn’t want to fight with him. For whatever reason, he can’t believe we’re having sex, or that you’re going to Leah’s wedding.
Well, now it seems like he’s actually excited to go. Midge wishes he’d been that excited when it was just him going as her date.
That should be fine. I told her you’re the biggest thing in New York’s club scene right now.
She didn’t say which club.
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I don't know what aspect of my persona he can't believe, therefore I don't know if being flattered or insulted. Alas.
It sounds like Joel is properly annoyed, at the very least, so Jaskier counts it as a win.
He laughs when he notices what she omitted in her reccomendation. Smart girl.
I love it when you're so witty. Thank you, darling. I owe you one. Would you send me your cousin's number? For business, I promise. I should introduce myself and discuss music preferences with her.
It finally hits him, then.
So your whole family knows about your plus one now?
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[Leah’s number]
Yes, I’ve told my parents, since I figured Joel would if I didn’t. They want to meet you, of course.
I won’t make you, if you’d rather wait until the wedding.
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Having to meet her parents should push him into panic. But now that he's agreed to go to the wedding and a be shield against her family, this is nothing. He's already too deep.
That pause between texts isn't very long.
Let's do it. Better do things the right way now so the wedding will go well. Dinner at your place?
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As I said, he doesn’t know you.
This complete turn around in Jaskier has Midge cautiously hopeful. It seems like he’s finally decided that her family doesn’t mean him any harm. That makes her happy. Happier than it probably should.
Sure. Maybe this Sunday?
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He stares at his device for a second and he sighs. This is really happening. How did they even get here? And why wouldn't he change a thing?
Works for me.
Tell me about them. I must be ready to charm their pants off.
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I also like the very ungentlemanly things you do to me in bed.
My father is a retired Columbia math professor. He’s very by the book and thinks that he’s always right, but he’s surprisingly forward-thinking. You could always bring up the piano.
Mama will be impressed with your manners, so have them on display. A little flattery will help too, but don’t overdo it.
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I'm not sure I want to discuss music with a "by the book" man, but I'll keep it in mind. Flattering your mother will be much easier.
They're going to hate me anyway.
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I hope that’s a promise, Jaskier.
Don’t go in defeatist. They’re not going to hate you. We’re not dating. And they wouldn’t be rude to one of my friends anyway.
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Jaskier gets the feeling they WOULD be rude to her friends, but better not attack her parents again. Midge is lucky he hasn't met Imogen.
I'm not defeatist, I am talking from experience. Fancy, strict parents don't like wandering musicians that don't like making plans for the future.
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Well, I’m 27 and divorced, not 16 and never been kissed. I had my wedding and they have their grandkids. They shouldn’t be pushing you for any kind of commitment, in my opinion. It’s not even going to come up. I’ll lay out the ground rules before you even get there.
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Do they even like Susie?
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You mean a lot more to me than a ‘grubby club friend’. It will be fine, Jaskier. Nothing they say or do will change how I feel about you.
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Don't take me wrong, I don't believe you think like them or that they'll change your mimd about me. I just want you to have realistic expectations about how the evening may go. Possibly the wedding too.
Also it seems I'm going to have lunch with your cousin tomorrow. Tell me a Jewish restaurant I can take her to.
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A deli. [she sends an address.] Good luck with her.
Thank you again for helping at the factory today. I can’t wait to thank you in person.
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Hey, I know I joked earlier, but the part about always helping people is true. And we got paid, so it's not like we did charity.
That said!
Mayhaps I do deserve that special thanks, considering I am still in the tub scrubbing the stench off. My beautiful skin is red and I don't have you to kiss it better. I demand compensation, missy.
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I plan to use my mouth. I know how much you love my sassy mouth, Jaskier.
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Your mouth is an absolute delight. So sassy, witty, and fierce. And so pretty when it's wrapped around my cock.
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My mistake. Obviously, you have plenty of thoughts about your cousin's choice of future husband.