I truly appreciate your offer, but I'd rather do this one-on-one. She'll put up her well-mannered family face in front of you, and I want to see how she treats the people she hires. I must protect the band.
I'll let you know how it goes.
The next day, in the middle of the afternoon, Jaskier already has an update.
Did you know your cousin has a secret kink for elves, or is that a dark family secret?
I didn't go that far with my questions, but gods, did she have a lot for me. She was very excited (if you know what I mean) about having an otherwordler and elves in her wedding. Called us 'exotic'. Her face was as red as an apple, and the way she kept squirming, I thought her skirt was getting wet. It was a little uncomfortable at times, but I'll take it over bigotry.
Anyway, she paid a deposit. So you're looking at the proud owner of a typewriter now.
I'll double-check their dicks next time. But I need you to be on your best wit, my smart lady. Because she'll probably be boasting about getting an exotic band for her wedding - don't let her take the credit! You got the band for her!
Thanks. I've been looking at typing courses - they're only two months long. They also are full of women your age. Usually I'd find such a scenario very pleasant, but in the context of becoming a student again? Feels a bit weird.
I don't know what hippest is, but I trust you, so - yes! You saved your cousin's party! Make sure they know whom to thank! Don't let them take this from you!
Alas, there are not. What do you think? Would you feel weird if a middle-aged bloke joined your class?
It'll be an even bigger victory at the wedding, I promise.
Well then. I'm signing up for classes. Wish me luck.
He has his first class at the end of the week, and his charms help him keep all the women comfortable - at least, his classmates are. The teacher may still be a bit wary. It feels fucking good to have a goal and direction again, and he tells Midge so during one of their many texts talks.
He throws himself into the guitar and reharsal with the band, too. Being so busy means that the weekend arrives before he can fully process it.
Fuck. This is really happening. Jaskier surprises himself by being terrified - usually he knows how to handle bitter, snobby old people. But he doesn't want to put Midge in a bad spot.
Geralt and Yennefer keep mocking him while he gets ready, and honestly, it helps. It provides an outlet for him to burn all these nervous feelings. While he refuses to stop being himself, he does compromise by toning it down a little. The blue suit keeps the yellow vest and pocket square, but there's no makeup or jewelry except for the elven ring.
With the lute hanging on his back in case he can do some charming with music, Jaskier shows up at Midge's place with his arms full: a bouquette of fresh roses and a bag with a fancy bottle of vine.
Yet what makes ringing the bell so hard is his own hesitation.
we can go with it! Let me try to get in a headspace for Abe and Rose lol
Midge has been nervous too, of course. She wants this to go well, wants her parents to like Jaskier. That may be asking too much. She’s already made it abundantly clear to her parents that she and Jaskier aren’t a couple, so hopefully there won’t be any embarrassing questions about Jaskier’s intentions with her or anything like that.
When Jaskier finally rings the bell, Midge is just taking the brisket out of the oven. She hurries to get the door so that she can have a moment with him before introducing him to her parents. Midge opens the door and grins at him.
“You look great.” She’s wearing a casual light blue dress. Leaning in, she gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for coming.”
Nervous as he may be, it's impossible not to smile at the mere sight of her. He melts in her hug and wishes he could just bury his face in her neck.
"So do you, darling." He kisses her cheek very quickly, always keeping an eye for anyone appearing in the hallway. "You can thank me properly another day." He winks. "I hope you don't mind that the flowers aren't for you today."
“I will.” She returns the wink. “I don’t mind. Mama will love them.” Midge takes a deep breath. “Ready?” she asks, giving him what is hopefully a reassuring smile.
Midge shows him into the living room, where her parents are sitting on the couch. “Jaskier, these are my parents, Abe and Rose Weissman. Mama, Papa, this is Jaskier of Oxenfurt. He’s an Otherworlder.” They knew that. Hopefully.
Abe stands up to shake Jaskier’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you finally. Miriam has told us almost nothing about you.”
Jaskier returns the smile and bites back the urge to answer 'no'.
As he follows Midge to the living room, Jaskier makes sure to fix his posture - less chaotic bisexual, more serious viscount. He offers a small bow when Midge introduces him, keeping an eye on their reactions. Midge truly takes after her mother, he notices.
"Well met, sir." He shakes Abe's hand firmly. "I'm sure any questions you may have shall be answered tonight - over a drink, mayhaps?" He hands him the bottle of wine - fancy bottle, rich in flavor.
Jaskier then approaches Rose with his most charming smile. "Madam." He kisses her hand before giving her the flowers. "I see now where Miriam has taken her wondrous sense of style from."
Which, to be fair, isn't a lie. Rose knows how to dress.
Jaskier is truly on his best behavior. Midge appreciates that… she thinks. Hopefully he’ll loosen up as night goes on.
“Ah, yes… well met,” Abe replies, taking the bottle from Jaskier to examine it.
“The place Jaskier comes from is akin to the 1600s here,” Midge says, “but with more magic and elves.” Maybe that will explain some of his language, at least.
“This is a nice vintage,” Abe comments. “Red wine is the perfect dinner wine. White is too frivolous.”
Good job picking a red, Jaskier.
Rose smiles at Jaskier, charmed by the kiss to her hand. “Thank you. Those roses you gave Miriam the other week were so beautiful. I’ll go put these in a vase.”
He steps back to let Rose move ahead, offering another little bow. Abe's comment on wine makes him chuckle.
"White wine is made by men. Red wine is made by God," he replies as he sits on the reading chair. He doesn't trust himself getting too close to Midge on the couch. Once again, he makes sure to fix his posture - one crossed leg, chin held high, arms on the armrests. A gentleman from head to toes. "You know your wines, sir. Or should I call you Professor? Miriam mentioned you retired, but in my experience, academics do not know the meaning of retirement."
It’s not that Midge didn’t believe him when he said he was the son of a viscount, but tonight it’s apparent. He looks every inch the cultured gentleman. It’s probably killing him.
“Well…” Abe says, dithering a bit, “it’s not strictly necessary…”
“You can call him Professor,” Midge says. “Jaskier was also a professor where he came from. Of literature, right?”
“Is that a lute?” Abe asks of the instrument that’s now sitting in Jaskier’s lap.
she wants to be a viscountess, gotta deal with the viscount ;)
He's not quite dying yet, merely because he hasn't had to hold back rude comments. Exhaustion will hit him eventually.
"I wouldn't call myself a professor. But indeed, I spent many a winter giving lectures in Oxenfurt - literature and music." He nods at Abe's question. "I am bard. Miriam has probably already told you I'll be singing at Leah's wedding. In fact!" He puts the lute in position. "I've been practicing a request she made. I believe it's called 'Seating of the Bride'."
And just like that, he starts playing a very specific tune.
If Abe remembers said lute from the hallway a few weeks ago, he doesn’t comment on it.
Midge sits down next to Abe. Jaskier’s pulled out the lute early tonight, but damn if he also hasn’t done his research. He’s pulling out all of the stops.
Rose returns to the room and all of them listen to Jaskier play and clap politely at the end. “That’s lovely,” Rose says. “I was surprised to hear that you would be performing at the wedding rather than just attending as Miriam’s plus one.”
“Leah’s a spoiled brat,” says Abe, “but she has good taste.”
“Well,” Midge says. “Dinner is ready, if we’d like to move to the dining room. Jaskier can pour us some of the wine he brought.”
don't worry Midge he'll sit like that for you in private
"Thank you, thank you, you're too kind." His smile is simple. Inside, his ego is inflated. He covers his mouth to smirk when Abe calls Leah a spoiled brat, totally agreeing with it.
"You are not wrong, madam, I was originally attending just as a plus one. But your niece lost her musician, and Miriam here knew exactly what to do." He looks at Midge, letting his happiness show a little more. "So it's her great taste you must be grateful for."
Jaskier nods at Midge's suggestion and puts his lute down on the chair before following the family. With Abe and Rose in front of them, Jaskier uses the chance to grin and blow a kiss at Midge.
Following her suggestion, he uncorks the wine and pours a glass for everyone before rising his for a toast.
"To new beginnings," he says as he glances at Midge. He hopes the couple thinks he's talking about Leah's marriage.
This is the most subdued Midge has ever seen Jaskier and she doesn’t know what to make of it. On the one hand, he’s really making an effort for her parents, and she appreciates that. On the other, it’s strange to see him acting so formally.
As they move to the table, Midge reaches out and gives his hand a quick squeeze when he blows her the kiss. While he uncorks and pours the wine, she brings the pan of brisket from the kitchen. Sitting down, she raises her glass.
His toast, obviously directed at her, takes her aback. Maybe she shouldn’t read so much into a toast, but the words make her heart flutter in her chest.
He makes sure to clink everyone's glass before he takes a sip. The smile on his face is genuine when he sees the food she's prepared.
"So this is your famous brisket? I've been dying to try it." He'll let Midge or Abe do the cutting, as it should be. The fact that he poured the wine was already a lot, and he only did it because Midge asked - as far as courtly matters go, that's usually left for 'the man in the house'.
"I almost forgot to ask - have you heard from your former in-laws? Is the factory doing well after the incident?" He's playing innocent concern as an indirect way to remind them that hey, he brought the guy who saved dozens of lives. He hopes that will play in his favor as well, without witcher bigotry and all - yet again, who knows what will they think of a man that travels to swamps to deal with critters...
“It is,” Midge confirms as she cuts the meat. Hopefully he’ll like it, but she hasn’t received any complains in the past.
Of course Jaskier brings up the factory incident. She’s not surprised; it was a win for he and Geralt. “Yes,” Midge continues. “Moishe was angry about the loss of production, but not after I explained that the loss of life could have been much worse.”
She turns to her parents. “Jaskier came here with a man from his home who hunts monsters. He helps him.”
Of course the man had been upset about the production first, fucking hell. Jaskier opens and closes his hands as he bites back what he really wants to say about it. Luckily, Midge serves the meat and he can keep his mouth busy by eating.
"Oh, this is delicious." He takes another bite. "I should make you teach Geralt."
The smile on his face twitches for a second because of Rose's comment - expected it, but still not great to hear it. Jaskier clears his voice and looks at her with his most polite face.
"It can be, yes." No point in denying it. "But as Miriam here has cleverly pointed out, loss of life is worse. As gruesome as it may be, helping people is satisfying." He sips his wine, starting to need the alcohol if this is how the conversation will go. "Besides! Monster parts are very useful for potions. If you know anyone who needs help with the little things in life, from hair loss to pimples - we guarantee total privacy."
All Moishe heard was ‘spiders in the walls’. Midge had to elaborate a bit on what exactly that entailed in this case. Then he understood much better.
She grins at Jaskier’s reaction to her brisket. “Just invite me over to make it for you,” she tells him.
Abe and Rose glance at each other. They’re not buying the ‘friends’ story, but they won’t press for now. It’s obvious to them that Midge and Jaskier’s relationship is heading for something more than friendship. They know their daughter well enough.
“What sort of monsters do you usually hunt?” Abe asks. For what it’s worth, neither of her parents looks disturbed, though Rose makes a face at the words monster parts.
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I'll let you know how it goes.
The next day, in the middle of the afternoon, Jaskier already has an update.
Did you know your cousin has a secret kink for elves, or is that a dark family secret?
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Anyway, she paid a deposit. So you're looking at the proud owner of a typewriter now.
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Congratulations!
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Thanks. I've been looking at typing courses - they're only two months long. They also are full of women your age. Usually I'd find such a scenario very pleasant, but in the context of becoming a student again? Feels a bit weird.
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Should I tell everyone at the wedding that I booked the hippest band?
They’re probably training to be secretaries. Not sure if there are any other class options.
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Alas, there are not. What do you think? Would you feel weird if a middle-aged bloke joined your class?
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Personally, probably not, but I’m not like most women. I think if they allow you to join then you should do it.
lmk if you wanted to do something else before the dinner and I'll edit
Well then. I'm signing up for classes. Wish me luck.
He has his first class at the end of the week, and his charms help him keep all the women comfortable - at least, his classmates are. The teacher may still be a bit wary. It feels fucking good to have a goal and direction again, and he tells Midge so during one of their many texts talks.
He throws himself into the guitar and reharsal with the band, too. Being so busy means that the weekend arrives before he can fully process it.
Fuck. This is really happening. Jaskier surprises himself by being terrified - usually he knows how to handle bitter, snobby old people. But he doesn't want to put Midge in a bad spot.
Geralt and Yennefer keep mocking him while he gets ready, and honestly, it helps. It provides an outlet for him to burn all these nervous feelings. While he refuses to stop being himself, he does compromise by toning it down a little. The blue suit keeps the yellow vest and pocket square, but there's no makeup or jewelry except for the elven ring.
With the lute hanging on his back in case he can do some charming with music, Jaskier shows up at Midge's place with his arms full: a bouquette of fresh roses and a bag with a fancy bottle of vine.
Yet what makes ringing the bell so hard is his own hesitation.
we can go with it! Let me try to get in a headspace for Abe and Rose lol
When Jaskier finally rings the bell, Midge is just taking the brisket out of the oven. She hurries to get the door so that she can have a moment with him before introducing him to her parents. Midge opens the door and grins at him.
“You look great.” She’s wearing a casual light blue dress. Leaning in, she gives him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for coming.”
prayers for your poor head lmao
"So do you, darling." He kisses her cheek very quickly, always keeping an eye for anyone appearing in the hallway. "You can thank me properly another day." He winks. "I hope you don't mind that the flowers aren't for you today."
rip me
Midge shows him into the living room, where her parents are sitting on the couch. “Jaskier, these are my parents, Abe and Rose Weissman. Mama, Papa, this is Jaskier of Oxenfurt. He’s an Otherworlder.” They knew that. Hopefully.
Abe stands up to shake Jaskier’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you finally. Miriam has told us almost nothing about you.”
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As he follows Midge to the living room, Jaskier makes sure to fix his posture - less chaotic bisexual, more serious viscount. He offers a small bow when Midge introduces him, keeping an eye on their reactions. Midge truly takes after her mother, he notices.
"Well met, sir." He shakes Abe's hand firmly. "I'm sure any questions you may have shall be answered tonight - over a drink, mayhaps?" He hands him the bottle of wine - fancy bottle, rich in flavor.
Jaskier then approaches Rose with his most charming smile. "Madam." He kisses her hand before giving her the flowers. "I see now where Miriam has taken her wondrous sense of style from."
Which, to be fair, isn't a lie. Rose knows how to dress.
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“Ah, yes… well met,” Abe replies, taking the bottle from Jaskier to examine it.
“The place Jaskier comes from is akin to the 1600s here,” Midge says, “but with more magic and elves.” Maybe that will explain some of his language, at least.
“This is a nice vintage,” Abe comments. “Red wine is the perfect dinner wine. White is too frivolous.”
Good job picking a red, Jaskier.
Rose smiles at Jaskier, charmed by the kiss to her hand. “Thank you. Those roses you gave Miriam the other week were so beautiful. I’ll go put these in a vase.”
"she thinks" lmaoooo
"White wine is made by men. Red wine is made by God," he replies as he sits on the reading chair. He doesn't trust himself getting too close to Midge on the couch. Once again, he makes sure to fix his posture - one crossed leg, chin held high, arms on the armrests. A gentleman from head to toes. "You know your wines, sir. Or should I call you Professor? Miriam mentioned you retired, but in my experience, academics do not know the meaning of retirement."
she likes when he’s himself!
“Well…” Abe says, dithering a bit, “it’s not strictly necessary…”
“You can call him Professor,” Midge says. “Jaskier was also a professor where he came from. Of literature, right?”
“Is that a lute?” Abe asks of the instrument that’s now sitting in Jaskier’s lap.
she wants to be a viscountess, gotta deal with the viscount ;)
"I wouldn't call myself a professor. But indeed, I spent many a winter giving lectures in Oxenfurt - literature and music." He nods at Abe's question. "I am bard. Miriam has probably already told you I'll be singing at Leah's wedding. In fact!" He puts the lute in position. "I've been practicing a request she made. I believe it's called 'Seating of the Bride'."
And just like that, he starts playing a very specific tune.
mmm and she’s been doodling that name too
Midge sits down next to Abe. Jaskier’s pulled out the lute early tonight, but damn if he also hasn’t done his research. He’s pulling out all of the stops.
Rose returns to the room and all of them listen to Jaskier play and clap politely at the end. “That’s lovely,” Rose says. “I was surprised to hear that you would be performing at the wedding rather than just attending as Miriam’s plus one.”
“Leah’s a spoiled brat,” says Abe, “but she has good taste.”
“Well,” Midge says. “Dinner is ready, if we’d like to move to the dining room. Jaskier can pour us some of the wine he brought.”
don't worry Midge he'll sit like that for you in private
"You are not wrong, madam, I was originally attending just as a plus one. But your niece lost her musician, and Miriam here knew exactly what to do." He looks at Midge, letting his happiness show a little more. "So it's her great taste you must be grateful for."
Jaskier nods at Midge's suggestion and puts his lute down on the chair before following the family. With Abe and Rose in front of them, Jaskier uses the chance to grin and blow a kiss at Midge.
Following her suggestion, he uncorks the wine and pours a glass for everyone before rising his for a toast.
"To new beginnings," he says as he glances at Midge. He hopes the couple thinks he's talking about Leah's marriage.
that sounds naughty
As they move to the table, Midge reaches out and gives his hand a quick squeeze when he blows her the kiss. While he uncorks and pours the wine, she brings the pan of brisket from the kitchen. Sitting down, she raises her glass.
His toast, obviously directed at her, takes her aback. Maybe she shouldn’t read so much into a toast, but the words make her heart flutter in her chest.
”L’chaim.” She clinks her glass against his.
because it is, she can ride the viscount
"So this is your famous brisket? I've been dying to try it." He'll let Midge or Abe do the cutting, as it should be. The fact that he poured the wine was already a lot, and he only did it because Midge asked - as far as courtly matters go, that's usually left for 'the man in the house'.
"I almost forgot to ask - have you heard from your former in-laws? Is the factory doing well after the incident?" He's playing innocent concern as an indirect way to remind them that hey, he brought the guy who saved dozens of lives. He hopes that will play in his favor as well, without witcher bigotry and all - yet again, who knows what will they think of a man that travels to swamps to deal with critters...
and she will
Of course Jaskier brings up the factory incident. She’s not surprised; it was a win for he and Geralt. “Yes,” Midge continues. “Moishe was angry about the loss of production, but not after I explained that the loss of life could have been much worse.”
She turns to her parents. “Jaskier came here with a man from his home who hunts monsters. He helps him.”
“Really?” Asks Rose. “That sounds gruesome.”
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"Oh, this is delicious." He takes another bite. "I should make you teach Geralt."
The smile on his face twitches for a second because of Rose's comment - expected it, but still not great to hear it. Jaskier clears his voice and looks at her with his most polite face.
"It can be, yes." No point in denying it. "But as Miriam here has cleverly pointed out, loss of life is worse. As gruesome as it may be, helping people is satisfying." He sips his wine, starting to need the alcohol if this is how the conversation will go. "Besides! Monster parts are very useful for potions. If you know anyone who needs help with the little things in life, from hair loss to pimples - we guarantee total privacy."
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She grins at Jaskier’s reaction to her brisket. “Just invite me over to make it for you,” she tells him.
Abe and Rose glance at each other. They’re not buying the ‘friends’ story, but they won’t press for now. It’s obvious to them that Midge and Jaskier’s relationship is heading for something more than friendship. They know their daughter well enough.
“What sort of monsters do you usually hunt?” Abe asks. For what it’s worth, neither of her parents looks disturbed, though Rose makes a face at the words monster parts.
“Wrinkle cream?” Rose asks.
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who could've guessed Rose and Geralt would give the same advice lol
they’re smart
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Midge should hear it all from her room lmao
yes
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I love how all of their texting eventually turns into sexting
tbf her having a libido to match his is what helps him consider monogamy
she feels like she could keep him satisfied
if she takes care of his needs, yes she can!
she will need to work up to it, but she will
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