"Yes, you both are." Listen, he just calls it as he sees it. He snorts at her hopes for his feeling better. "I told him to break it up before it came to this several times. He didn't listen. He'll have the headache he deserves." When Midge mentions texting, Geralt just nods and leaves as well.
At home, he wakes Jaskier up long enough merely for Yen to check on him, then he lets him sleep. Only fair. But when Jaskier wakes up for good, Geralt shares every single bit of the conversation, not caring about the stupid hangover headache just like he promised.
Jaskier is pretty annoyed by hearing that Midge accused him of only wanting sex, which he's pretty sure is what makes him throw up faster. It does sound like she took it back, thought? Maybe? He doesn't know what to think.
But as days pass without any amounts of alcohol or fucking being enough to silence his heart, he knows what he must do. He's just terrified of it.
He stares at his device as if it was a monster waiting to eat him.
Midge struggles on miserably as the week goes by. Maybe Jaskier won’t text her. Maybe he’s decided that she’s not worth his time anymore.
(Yes, she could text him, but she also doesn’t want to push it. Midge feels like she’s in high school again, dealing with this breakup. She doesn’t know how to handle it.)
Seeing his name come through on her device makes her heart leap, although dread quickly follows. For once in her life, she doesn’t know what to say.
Yes.
Are you okay?
Do you want to talk? We should talk. I want to talk to you.
Just… putting every scenario out there, she guesses.
There’s a pause as she debates if she ought to send this last message. Fortunately, it’s easier to ‘say’ over text than it would be to his face.
There’s a diner that I go to sometimes. I’ll send you the address.
Midge is nervous and excited to meet him. She’s cautiously optimistic. Even if he says he misses her, they still might not be able to give each other what they want.
More staring at the screen. He can feel his heart constricting again. He's dramatic, he knows. And usually, he loves being dramatic for a crowd. But this... even if it doesn't work out, he doesn't want to make it worse.
Apparently he didn’t want to do this right now, but then changed his mind. That’s good. She’s ready to talk now.
I’ll see you soon.
It’s a long ride out to Coney Island, which gives Midge some time to think. She finds Jaskier at the railing by the sea, the Wonder Wheel rising up in the distance behind him.
“Hey,” she says quietly, giving him a little smile. He’s dressed way down, for him. Midge is perfectly coordinated as always. If she got one thing from Rose, it’s that she will always look fabulous, even if she’s dying inside.
“You wanna sit?” Midge inclines her head towards a nearby bench that faces the ocean.
She looks as beautiful as she always does, and Jaskier can't help but to stare at her for a second while his heart cries out for her. He puts his hands in the pockets of his jacket, hoping that will stop them from doing something stupid.
"Hey." He returns the little smile. "I actually mentioned this place because I thought we could go for a walk on the beach? I find the coast soothing."
This is the most subdued that she’s ever seen him before. Midge is afraid that his somber mood means that he’s going to tell her he never wants to see her again after today. Maybe that’s what she deserves.
“In these shoes?” she teases. It’s not really a joke, nor a funny one, but she’s off kilter. Going to the aforementioned bench, Midge sits and removes her heels. Now barefoot, she and Jaskier pick their way down the boardwalk that leads over the dunes, then over the soft white sand to the packed wet sand by the shoreline.
Midge takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’m sorry,” she tells him.
He chuckles, so it works well enough. His boots are good enough for the beach, but he takes them off anyway. He wants to feel the sand on his toes - it works. The beach is always a balm for his soul.
The apology is unexpected and it throws Jaskier for a second. Fuck, how can she always be so sweet? He takes a deep breath.
"Never apologize for loving," he replies as he asks his heart to calm down. "I'm sorry I made you cry." There's a pause before he bursts out, "You told Geralt I wanted you for sex."
She nods, because there’s no point in denying it. They need to be honest with each other right now.
“I was angry and feeling bitter,” she replies. “He pointed out all of the time we spent together not having sex, the things that we shared with each other. I know it wasn’t just sex, and I’m sorry that I said that.”
"Thank you," he responds, followed by a snort. "You know we've stepped into hell when we're getting relationship counceling from him of all people."
He hasn't forgotten that he had to put up with his and Yennefer's bullshit for years.
Silence follows them for a moment. Jaskier looks at the sea - not because he refuses to look at her (how could he?) but because he knows that if he does, he'll surrender to her sad eyes.
Also, he may be scared.
Just a little.
Okay, a lot.
"I missed you. Terribly," he finally says with a broken voice. "This week apart made me realize how much I need you in my life."
He takes another deep breath.
"I'm willing to try. A relationship, I mean. Exclusivity. But it wouldn't be what you know. It wouldn't be traditional. I am not a husband. So there's a lot to discuss. To reach... compromise."
Midge is completely floored by what she hears. Whatever she was expecting, it wasn’t this.
She’s dumbfounded for a moment, the sound of waves crashing and seagulls calling taking over. “You… really? You don’t have to marry me, Jaskier. I wasn’t expecting a proposal.”
Midge moves closer to him, standing in the surf as the cold water rushes over her feet. She lets out a little yelp, then a laugh at the temperature of it. “That’s cold! Sorry. Momentary distraction. Tell me what you want.”
There goes the p-word again. Jaskier sighs - this is precisely why they need to talk. Before he can say anything, though, Midge is yelping. And what else can he do but laugh?
It is a good distraction, at least. It gets rid of some of the tension.
Jaskier loathes the cold, but being a beach boy and having camped outside during chilly Autumns mean his tolerance has grown since he was a brat napping by the hearth. He offers his arm to Midge, because he can't take it anymore. "You are not being smooth, you know. You just had to ask." He's teasing to cover his need.
For the next few steps, he just enjoys having her close again.
Welp. Here goes nothing.
"You said the same thing in the club. Marriage, proposal. That's what worried me - you're missing the point. It's not about the ring and the paperwork. It's about the man's role. It's about being the provider and changing diapers." He kicks a shell in the sand. "Actually, that's a good place to start. I don't want kids. That one is not negotiable."
He isn't sure if this relationship will even make it that far, but better put it all out now.
Midge grips his arm gratefully. “I didn’t know if you wanted me to…” she says by way of explanation. She would have been heartbroken if she’d asked to take his arm and he had rebuffed her.
No kids is an easy agreement for her. “I have enough kids,” Midge agrees, “and they have a father.” Meaning that she doesn’t expect him to be one to them. “In time though, I’d hope that you would like to meet them. Maybe you can be an adult figure for them like you are for Ciri. Slowly. If you want to.” She’s not going to push him regarding her kids right now.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
At home, he wakes Jaskier up long enough merely for Yen to check on him, then he lets him sleep. Only fair. But when Jaskier wakes up for good, Geralt shares every single bit of the conversation, not caring about the stupid hangover headache just like he promised.
Jaskier is pretty annoyed by hearing that Midge accused him of only wanting sex, which he's pretty sure is what makes him throw up faster. It does sound like she took it back, thought? Maybe? He doesn't know what to think.
But as days pass without any amounts of alcohol or fucking being enough to silence his heart, he knows what he must do. He's just terrified of it.
He stares at his device as if it was a monster waiting to eat him.
You said I could text you?
no subject
(Yes, she could text him, but she also doesn’t want to push it. Midge feels like she’s in high school again, dealing with this breakup. She doesn’t know how to handle it.)
Seeing his name come through on her device makes her heart leap, although dread quickly follows. For once in her life, she doesn’t know what to say.
Yes.
Are you okay?
Do you want to talk? We should talk. I want to talk to you.
Just… putting every scenario out there, she guesses.
There’s a pause as she debates if she ought to send this last message. Fortunately, it’s easier to ‘say’ over text than it would be to his face.
I miss you.
no subject
It's that last text that finally breaks him.
I miss you too.
We should talk. But not on the device.
no subject
There’s a diner that I go to sometimes. I’ll send you the address.
Midge is nervous and excited to meet him. She’s cautiously optimistic. Even if he says he misses her, they still might not be able to give each other what they want.
no subject
Are you too busy?
I was thinking Coney Island.
no subject
Alright. Should I leave now?
no subject
fuck
i thought
i said somewhere far and thought you'd need
The three dots appear and disappear for a few seconds.
Yes. Now. See you soon.
Jaskier is already there when Midge arrives, resting on a railing while watching the sea. The coast has always been a lullaby for his heart.
There's no bag or lute, no makeup or jewelry except for the elven ring. Just the gray vest and his long read coat. Simple. Just Jaskier.
no subject
Apparently he didn’t want to do this right now, but then changed his mind. That’s good. She’s ready to talk now.
I’ll see you soon.
It’s a long ride out to Coney Island, which gives Midge some time to think. She finds Jaskier at the railing by the sea, the Wonder Wheel rising up in the distance behind him.
“Hey,” she says quietly, giving him a little smile. He’s dressed way down, for him. Midge is perfectly coordinated as always. If she got one thing from Rose, it’s that she will always look fabulous, even if she’s dying inside.
“You wanna sit?” Midge inclines her head towards a nearby bench that faces the ocean.
no subject
"Hey." He returns the little smile. "I actually mentioned this place because I thought we could go for a walk on the beach? I find the coast soothing."
no subject
“In these shoes?” she teases. It’s not really a joke, nor a funny one, but she’s off kilter. Going to the aforementioned bench, Midge sits and removes her heels. Now barefoot, she and Jaskier pick their way down the boardwalk that leads over the dunes, then over the soft white sand to the packed wet sand by the shoreline.
Midge takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I’m sorry,” she tells him.
no subject
The apology is unexpected and it throws Jaskier for a second. Fuck, how can she always be so sweet? He takes a deep breath.
"Never apologize for loving," he replies as he asks his heart to calm down. "I'm sorry I made you cry." There's a pause before he bursts out, "You told Geralt I wanted you for sex."
Well. He did warn her he was a bitch.
no subject
“I was angry and feeling bitter,” she replies. “He pointed out all of the time we spent together not having sex, the things that we shared with each other. I know it wasn’t just sex, and I’m sorry that I said that.”
no subject
He hasn't forgotten that he had to put up with his and Yennefer's bullshit for years.
Silence follows them for a moment. Jaskier looks at the sea - not because he refuses to look at her (how could he?) but because he knows that if he does, he'll surrender to her sad eyes.
Also, he may be scared.
Just a little.
Okay, a lot.
"I missed you. Terribly," he finally says with a broken voice. "This week apart made me realize how much I need you in my life."
He takes another deep breath.
"I'm willing to try. A relationship, I mean. Exclusivity. But it wouldn't be what you know. It wouldn't be traditional. I am not a husband. So there's a lot to discuss. To reach... compromise."
no subject
She’s dumbfounded for a moment, the sound of waves crashing and seagulls calling taking over. “You… really? You don’t have to marry me, Jaskier. I wasn’t expecting a proposal.”
Midge moves closer to him, standing in the surf as the cold water rushes over her feet. She lets out a little yelp, then a laugh at the temperature of it. “That’s cold! Sorry. Momentary distraction. Tell me what you want.”
no subject
It is a good distraction, at least. It gets rid of some of the tension.
Jaskier loathes the cold, but being a beach boy and having camped outside during chilly Autumns mean his tolerance has grown since he was a brat napping by the hearth. He offers his arm to Midge, because he can't take it anymore. "You are not being smooth, you know. You just had to ask." He's teasing to cover his need.
For the next few steps, he just enjoys having her close again.
Welp. Here goes nothing.
"You said the same thing in the club. Marriage, proposal. That's what worried me - you're missing the point. It's not about the ring and the paperwork. It's about the man's role. It's about being the provider and changing diapers." He kicks a shell in the sand. "Actually, that's a good place to start. I don't want kids. That one is not negotiable."
He isn't sure if this relationship will even make it that far, but better put it all out now.
no subject
No kids is an easy agreement for her. “I have enough kids,” Midge agrees, “and they have a father.” Meaning that she doesn’t expect him to be one to them. “In time though, I’d hope that you would like to meet them. Maybe you can be an adult figure for them like you are for Ciri. Slowly. If you want to.” She’s not going to push him regarding her kids right now.