She takes a swig of the offered wine. Her smile fades slightly at his comment about her family.
“I love my family, even if they irritate me,” she replies. “I’m sure your family does things that annoy you too, but you still love them.”
Her parents mean well. Midge doesn’t think that they don’t love her or don’t want the best for her. Her idea of what’s best sometimes differs from theirs.
"Why, just because Yennefer held a knife against my neck and grabbed me by the balls?" He keeps his tone light, trying to redirect the conversation since it seems he's hit a nerve. "I think I've insulted her enough for that. Although I do miss coming up with new insults a little bit."
The smile returns, looking more like a smirk this time. “How dare she. Those are my balls to grab.” Hopefully he won’t take that as her sounding possessive of him. It’s just a joke.
“You can still come up with creative insults for her. I have a feeling that she can handle it - and will probably come up with a few of her own.”
Jaskier does chuckle at that, but he still glances at her and takes the bottle back for another swing while wondering how much was truly just a joke.
"Oh, we still insult each other all the time. I'm a slut, she's a demon, we're both bitches." He shrugs. "But they don't escalate anymore, you know? We used to be more cruel. And don't take me wrong, getting along is far better. I just miss wordplay with bite." He hums, almost lost in thought. "Maybe I should get one of those letter machine thingies, get on writing."
Midge has been intimately close with Jaskier for long enough to know when he’s uncomfortable, even as he tries to hide it. He’s probably still worrying about the wedding, and her words aren’t making it any better. She resolves to watch her mouth.
There’s a pang of sadness in her. Midge doesn’t like having to hide how she feels, but she also doesn’t want this thing between them to end. It might be difficult to just remain friends and she would miss him too much.
“A typewriter? Planning on sending an insulting letter to someone?” she asks. “I’m not an insult comic, but I could always give it a shot.”
He laughs while reaching for the chocolate box to put it on her lap so they can keep munching while they chat. Like she said: breakfast of champions.
"Insulting letters sound fun, actually; but not what I meant. I was talking about putting my poetry together in a book, maybe writing a novel. I had many books under my name back in my world." He tilts his head at her. "Give it a shot? You mean to banter with me? I don't know if I can insult you."
She picks up a chocolate boob and puts it in her mouth.
“Oh, I thought you wanted to be insulted,” she says with a laugh. “A poetry book sounds great though. You wrote novels back home? I guess none of them exist here. Have you considered rewriting them?”
They’ll be slightly different of course, but if they were popular where he came from, they might be popular here too.
"What I want is to come up with biting insults, and stories may be the outlet for that, be in poetry or prose." A mischievous glint appears in his eyes. "Like a narrator writing some truly scathing words for his lover's ex-husband." Just kidding. Maybe. "Having someone insulting me would be good practice, I do appreciate the offer. I'm just not sure I can be mean to you."
He takes a chocolate right before she asks her question, so he makes a so-so gesture with his hand to answer while he swallows.
"The serious books under my name were my poetry and my lyrics. Some essays. Then there was the anonymous stuff." His tone is ominous, his eyebrows waggle. "I mentioned that I hand-copied some books to make some coin during my teen years, right? Those were the forbidden things, the ones that no printer would take. Eventually, I wrote some of my own 'anonymous' stuff. Political statements, mostly, but there were a few romance novels. And they were raunchy." He grins and winks. "Men loving men, women loving women. And witchers saving innocent ladies - it was part of fixing witchers' reputation, since usually they were depicted as the villains in stories. I would read passages to Geralt while we camped just to annoy him."
He hums, considering her idea. "Mayhaps I should rewrite them. Gotta get the machine first. Learn how to use it."
Midge gives him a look and rolls her eyes playfully. If he wants to skewer her ex-husband in fiction, well, probably nobody will know that it’s supposed to be him.
“Why am I not surprised that you wrote dirty books?” Midge replies. “You might want to keep your pen name here as well.” Gay romances are still far too outrageous for the mainstream. “Oh, I’d like to be saved by a witcher. I know just how I’d thank him too.”
Wink. Geralt’s an attractive man, but Midge has no real interest in him. Maybe if Jaskier hears her talk about another man, it will ease his mind about whatever feelings he thinks she has for him.
The pen name thing leaves him thinking for a second. The tongue peeking out of his mouth shows it's a good kind of thinking, though - he isn't uncomfortable, the opposite in fact. He's finally got a plan, maybe he can find his footing after all. Jaskier is feeling more content, more secure. As for a pen name - not to start. Maybe later, to publish the dirty stuff once he has a sense of the industry. But first, he can do like home, sticking to the poetry and the lyrics.
He snaps out of it when she makes her witcher joke, and he laughs pretty hard.
"Who knows, maybe those fucking portals will drop another witcher soon and you may get your wish." It does ease his mind a little. "If you think my cock is nice, you should see Geralt's. As thick as the rest of him." He shakes his head, almost in disbelief. "I bet his brothers are the same."
She’s used to Jaskier’s suggestive comments by now, but Midge still flushes slightly when he mentions the size of Geralt’s cock. She presumes he’s seen it when they’ve been out in the field camping together, but Midge once again wonders if the two of them ever had anything.
“I think your cock fits very nicely inside me,” Midge tells him. “Any bigger and it might be painful.”
So much for making him think that she wants other men. She’s terrible at this.
"You're picturing it, aren't you?" he asks while snickering. He kisses both her cheeks. "You're so cute when you blush."
Her concerns are valid, though, so Jaskier doesn't think anything of it. In fact, he grins around the bottle neck as he takes another sip.
"Too big may hurt a little, yes," he admits, clearly talking from experience. "But there's nicely big. With enough lubrication, it feels wonderfully full."
“How can I not be?” Midge asks with a laugh. Inadvertently, she picks up one of the penis chocolates and blushes harder before putting it in her mouth.
“Yeah, I’m sure, but you fill me exactly right. It’s like Goldilocks.”
Jaskier laughs at her choice of chocolate and decides to do the same to carry on the joke. He really likes it when she blushes.
Goldilocks isn't something he recognizes, no - but he draws the wrong conclusion from her comparison. Jaskier raises his eyebrows. "You call me out for writing raunchy stuff, but what have you been reading? Please do tell me more about this Goldilocks lad and their size preferences."
Midge snorts a laugh. “Goldilocks is a girl, first of all. It’s a story about a girl who sneaks into the house of three bears and uses their things. Some of them are too big or too small, too hot or too cold, but some of them are juuuuust right.” She looks up at him. “That’s your cock. A Goldilocks cock. Juuuust right.”
this is extra funny when you consider that book Jaskier is blond and curls his hair
Midge's very short summary is enough for Jaskier to recognize a cautionary tale for children, and her comparison makes sense. However, Jaskier completely loses it at 'Goldilocks cock'. The city is starting to wake up, so hopefully the neighbors on the last floor don't hear him laughing his ass off.
"A Goldilocks cock! It's flattering to be called just right, yet I'm sensing a joke at the expense of my cock in your next routine. How dare you, missy." He pokes her stomach just to tease. "Mayhaps I should write it first. Tell the real story of Goldilocks, the crossdressing man who got to try some different kind of 'bears'."
He's been picking some slang from Rainbow Road, oops.
‘Goldilocks cock’ might appear in a future routine. Midge cannot confirm or deny that at this time. She laughs at his reaction, her eyes crinkled with mirth. Midge loves making him laugh.
“What?” she asks. “What other kind of bears are there?”
"Oh, Midge, you have to listen to this, it's amazing. The community here - the kind at Rainbow Road, I mean- they have a full culture, and that comes with its own slang." He's gesturing a lot, a good sign that indicates he's excited about this. "Bears are big, burly men with lots of body hair."
He waggles his eyebrows. Yeah, he wants to write the raunchy version of Goldilocks. To help his point, he grabs a cock chocolate and sucks on the tip before eating it.
"There's something about 'friend of Dorothy', too? The girl with the lion on the gold road? I want to watch that movie, see what the fuss is about."
“Oh my God,” she says with a laugh, now that she’s thinking about Goldilocks and this version of the three ‘bears’. Should she really be surprised that Jaskier made it dirty?
“So is Geralt a bear?” You know she had to ask, right?
Midge furrows her brow. “Oh, I’ve heard of that before. They’re talking about ‘The Wizard of Oz’, but I’m not really sure what the phrase means.”
Maybe Susie knows? Not that Midge would ever ask her.
"I asked myself the same question." He replies without hesitation. "But I don't think he's hairy enough. I have more body hair than him! Ah, but since I'm not burly, that makes me an otter."
Jaskier grins during the whole explanation, really loving all the details and sense of community he's found here. It's a pretty damn good reason why he doesn't want to leave this world.
"Mayhaps we can watch it together and learn. Do you know how we can achieve that? I've been dying to watch more movies anyway, they're so amazing. And the musicals at the theatre! What an amazing concept they are."
“A what?” she asks. Midge is definitely picturing Jaskier swimming happily in a river, and the image is hilarious.
“It’s a classic movie, so sometimes they still play it in the theaters. It’s based on a novel, but the movie is better.” Thank you MGM for taking a book about the gold standard and making it into an entertaining movie. “I said we should go to a show sometime. You’d love it.”
"An otter!" He puts a hand under his chin and bats his eyelashes. "Am I not as cute as one?" Jaskier loves swimming, so her mental image isn't far off.
"Yes, please, let's do it one of these nights." He raises the wine bottle only to find it empty. He sighs. "I suppose this is a sign to pick up camp."
Jaskier stands up and helps Midge do the same, but he doesn't let go of her hands - he pulls her closer for a sweet kiss. "It WAS fun." He nods, smiling widely. "Glad you enjoyed it. Most people need to see all the kinds of beauty that hide around the corners."
As usual, Midge hates to part from Jaskier after such a night of passion, but she manages, and life goes on as usual. A few days later, Jaskier will receive a text.
I have a problem and I think I need your help. Well, technically Geralt’s, I guess.
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“I love my family, even if they irritate me,” she replies. “I’m sure your family does things that annoy you too, but you still love them.”
Her parents mean well. Midge doesn’t think that they don’t love her or don’t want the best for her. Her idea of what’s best sometimes differs from theirs.
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“You can still come up with creative insults for her. I have a feeling that she can handle it - and will probably come up with a few of her own.”
Yennefer is no shrinking violet.
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"Oh, we still insult each other all the time. I'm a slut, she's a demon, we're both bitches." He shrugs. "But they don't escalate anymore, you know? We used to be more cruel. And don't take me wrong, getting along is far better. I just miss wordplay with bite." He hums, almost lost in thought. "Maybe I should get one of those letter machine thingies, get on writing."
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There’s a pang of sadness in her. Midge doesn’t like having to hide how she feels, but she also doesn’t want this thing between them to end. It might be difficult to just remain friends and she would miss him too much.
“A typewriter? Planning on sending an insulting letter to someone?” she asks. “I’m not an insult comic, but I could always give it a shot.”
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"Insulting letters sound fun, actually; but not what I meant. I was talking about putting my poetry together in a book, maybe writing a novel. I had many books under my name back in my world." He tilts his head at her. "Give it a shot? You mean to banter with me? I don't know if I can insult you."
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“Oh, I thought you wanted to be insulted,” she says with a laugh. “A poetry book sounds great though. You wrote novels back home? I guess none of them exist here. Have you considered rewriting them?”
They’ll be slightly different of course, but if they were popular where he came from, they might be popular here too.
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He takes a chocolate right before she asks her question, so he makes a so-so gesture with his hand to answer while he swallows.
"The serious books under my name were my poetry and my lyrics. Some essays. Then there was the anonymous stuff." His tone is ominous, his eyebrows waggle. "I mentioned that I hand-copied some books to make some coin during my teen years, right? Those were the forbidden things, the ones that no printer would take. Eventually, I wrote some of my own 'anonymous' stuff. Political statements, mostly, but there were a few romance novels. And they were raunchy." He grins and winks. "Men loving men, women loving women. And witchers saving innocent ladies - it was part of fixing witchers' reputation, since usually they were depicted as the villains in stories. I would read passages to Geralt while we camped just to annoy him."
He hums, considering her idea. "Mayhaps I should rewrite them. Gotta get the machine first. Learn how to use it."
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“Why am I not surprised that you wrote dirty books?” Midge replies. “You might want to keep your pen name here as well.” Gay romances are still far too outrageous for the mainstream. “Oh, I’d like to be saved by a witcher. I know just how I’d thank him too.”
Wink. Geralt’s an attractive man, but Midge has no real interest in him. Maybe if Jaskier hears her talk about another man, it will ease his mind about whatever feelings he thinks she has for him.
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He snaps out of it when she makes her witcher joke, and he laughs pretty hard.
"Who knows, maybe those fucking portals will drop another witcher soon and you may get your wish." It does ease his mind a little. "If you think my cock is nice, you should see Geralt's. As thick as the rest of him." He shakes his head, almost in disbelief. "I bet his brothers are the same."
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“I think your cock fits very nicely inside me,” Midge tells him. “Any bigger and it might be painful.”
So much for making him think that she wants other men. She’s terrible at this.
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Her concerns are valid, though, so Jaskier doesn't think anything of it. In fact, he grins around the bottle neck as he takes another sip.
"Too big may hurt a little, yes," he admits, clearly talking from experience. "But there's nicely big. With enough lubrication, it feels wonderfully full."
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“Yeah, I’m sure, but you fill me exactly right. It’s like Goldilocks.”
Does he know that story?
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Goldilocks isn't something he recognizes, no - but he draws the wrong conclusion from her comparison. Jaskier raises his eyebrows. "You call me out for writing raunchy stuff, but what have you been reading? Please do tell me more about this Goldilocks lad and their size preferences."
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this is extra funny when you consider that book Jaskier is blond and curls his hair
"A Goldilocks cock! It's flattering to be called just right, yet I'm sensing a joke at the expense of my cock in your next routine. How dare you, missy." He pokes her stomach just to tease. "Mayhaps I should write it first. Tell the real story of Goldilocks, the crossdressing man who got to try some different kind of 'bears'."
He's been picking some slang from Rainbow Road, oops.
hehehehe
“What?” she asks. “What other kind of bears are there?”
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He waggles his eyebrows. Yeah, he wants to write the raunchy version of Goldilocks. To help his point, he grabs a cock chocolate and sucks on the tip before eating it.
"There's something about 'friend of Dorothy', too? The girl with the lion on the gold road? I want to watch that movie, see what the fuss is about."
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“So is Geralt a bear?” You know she had to ask, right?
Midge furrows her brow. “Oh, I’ve heard of that before. They’re talking about ‘The Wizard of Oz’, but I’m not really sure what the phrase means.”
Maybe Susie knows? Not that Midge would ever ask her.
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Jaskier grins during the whole explanation, really loving all the details and sense of community he's found here. It's a pretty damn good reason why he doesn't want to leave this world.
"Mayhaps we can watch it together and learn. Do you know how we can achieve that? I've been dying to watch more movies anyway, they're so amazing. And the musicals at the theatre! What an amazing concept they are."
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“It’s a classic movie, so sometimes they still play it in the theaters. It’s based on a novel, but the movie is better.” Thank you MGM for taking a book about the gold standard and making it into an entertaining movie. “I said we should go to a show sometime. You’d love it.”
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"Yes, please, let's do it one of these nights." He raises the wine bottle only to find it empty. He sighs. "I suppose this is a sign to pick up camp."
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Midge echoes his sigh. “I guess so.” It’s almost fully light out now. “This was fun. Thanks for bringing me up here.”
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I have a problem and I think I need your help. Well, technically Geralt’s, I guess.
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how about a nest of Harrisi (huge poisonous spiders) hiding in the walls
sounds good - I know nothing about Witcher monsters
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I love this already
I've been giggling since the texting started
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