Lenny hit a nerve. He’s honestly not trying to make anyone upset.
“I probably will ask her to dance, because that’s a pretty innocent thing, but it means a lot to a woman like her. She’s used to being treated in a certain manner. Guys like me are far out of her league.” He takes a drag of his cigarette. “Midge likes how you treat her though. She likes you. Maybe I’m an asshole for pointing out something obvious like that to you, but I genuinely wasn’t sure if you knew.”
"Yeah. The dancing troupe has come and I like playing for them."
When Lenny says he's out of Midge's league, Jaskier snorts and asks for another pint of beer, sensing that this conversation is going to need it. What is it with these two and all the denial? He could've understood if they thought the other didn't like them back - it'd be a classic case of one-sided pining. But they both seem aware that there's something there, and Jaskier hates how they make it more complicated than it actually is.
"So you're hiding from her, got it." He shakes his head, exasperated by the whole thing. "I assure you that we both know that we like each other. Am I an arsehole for pointing out she likes you too, then?"
“Not really hiding,” he says with a shrug. “If I really didn’t want to see her, I’d leave. Midge has her reasons for not taking things further, as do I. We haven’t discussed it.”
He won’t be bringing it up with her.
“There’s no doubt who she’ll be going home with tonight, or at least who she wants to go home with. You can either have a pleasant evening, or you can keep pushing her towards something she isn’t interested in exploring, but I guarantee that will ruin your night.”
"Mayhaps you should discuss it, then. You both keep denying it, yet it took me only three steps to notice all the eye-fucking."
For two people who supposedly have no interest in exploring something, they sure aren't showing it. They're absolutely ridiculous.
"You're married. That's why she hasn't gone home with you, not because she doesn't want to." His new pint arrives, but he doesn't notice. His eyes are on Lenny, who is hitting too many sore spots. He's much better with words than Rose, that's for sure. "So drop the out of her league crap. It's not kind, it's condescending." He sighs and finally sees the beer, so he takes a very long sip. "This is why you wanted to talk to me? To ask me to stop?"
Lenny has a better picture of Jaskier and Midge’s relationship now. It’s sex, at least from his perspective. She might be trying for something more.
He’s quiet for a moment so that he can choose his words carefully.
“Just because you want something doesn’t mean that it’s good for you or that you ought to have it. I’m no good for her, and that’s a fact.”
Midge shouldn’t have to put up with his heroin addiction. Or the women. Or how he can be violent when he’s high. She’s going places, and she doesn’t need him pulling her down into the gutter with him.
“You don’t have to take my advice. I’m an idiot anyway. I just wanted to give you my take on the situation and let you know that if you keep pushing her, you’ll push her away. But, I’m sure you’ll move on to someone else instead.” He can’t help getting a little dig in, since the guy had the nerve to call him condescending without knowing a damn thing about his life.
Lenny finishes his beer and puts out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar. “Looking forward to hearing you sing tonight.” He means it too.
Conversation over, Lenny goes off to speak with some of the writers.
It's ironic, because Jaskier is thinking the same thing: this guy doesn't know him, yet he speaks like he understands Jaskier and the way he thinks. His heart constricts when Lenny says moving on to someone else, memories flooding his mind of how he learned the hard fucking way that he can't give people what they want when it comes to love.
Before he can stop himself, his hand closes around Lenny's wrist when he reaches for the ashtray.
"You're right. What you want isn't always what is good for you." He isn't being sarcastic; the agreement is sincere. "And I'm not what Midge needs - which I've already told her. Several times." He hisses the last part, barely containing his anger. He's fucking tired of people looking to put the blame on him when he's been clear about his intentions since the fucking beginning. What his heart feels is irrelevant. "If you truly want her to be happy, if you're truly against the idea of pushing - then don't push her toward me, either. Because right now? You're doing exactly what you're scolding me for."
Jaskier finally lets go of Lenny's wrist then, and doesn't believe him when he says he looks forward to his music. He doesn't answer, though; he just finishes his beer in one go, desperate to drown all the thoughts in his head.
Can you?
His limbs moving on automatic, Jaskier rushes backstage and through the back door so he can make it to the alley. The smell of the trash containers is awful, but he doesn't care now. He just kicks a can as he lets out a very loud fuck, the U elongated enough to scare away a cat.
He's in a bad mood now, but he doesn't want to leave. Usually, this is the kind of thing he'd chase away with a quick orgasm in a bathroom stall, yet sex is what put him on the spot in the first place. Talking to Geralt often worked, too, yet again - this is the one subject where the witcher will make it worse.
Molly finds him, then, innocently looking for her singer to start a jamming session, only for her face to drop when she sees the state Jaskier is in. Before she can ask anything, Jaskier quotes something she said to him in the past (Let's rock their socks off.) before following her inside.
Music is good. Music is orgasmic, too. Music can take over his body and make him forget, at least for a little while. He rushes to the stage and takes his guitar without a word, causing his band to gasp and run after him while teasing him for not doing a proper call.
Usually, Jaskier would say something sweet to the public, introduce the band and all, but now he directly throws himself into the music. They stick to covers so everyone can dance and Jaskier doesn't have to worry about revisions of his new material. He pours all his emotions into his singing and doesn't use a pick on the guitar, wanting to feel the vibrations of the strings right on his skin.
The good thing about covers is that people sing along. Jaskier basks in the attention and lets the cheers of the crowd make love to his ears so he can lose himself in creative bliss.
It’s a fair point. Lenny doesn’t know him. Jaskier could be a horrible person. Maybe both of them need to stop trying to manipulate her and let her decide what she wants, even if it’s obvious to him that Midge wants Jaskier.
She sure can pick em, can’t she?
Meanwhile, Midge has been working with Perdita and they have the beginning of a stand up set for her. It’s nice that other women are getting into comedy. There are too many unfunny men.
The dwarf leaves to help with managing the bar. A few minutes later, Jaskier storms on stage, looking irritated. Midge had seen him speaking with Lenny at the bar. What happened?
She gets lost in the music, grinning up at him on stage. After a few songs, Lenny comes to sit next to her. “He’s good,” he says.
“He is,” she replies. “Whatever you said to him pissed him off.”
Lenny is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. “Are you happy?”
Midge looks at him, searching his face for any sort of indication that this is a trick question. Finding none, she answers honestly. “Yes. I am.” Things aren’t ideal, but she’s happy.
Jaskier stays on the stage for the rest of the night.
It's unusual for him - this kind of event usually means a mix of mingling and performing. But while it may be unusual, it isn't strange - he's a musician, this is an art event, it makes sense for him to spend his time making music. Sometimes it's with the band, other times other musicians come in and they play a little improvisation game with him. He doesn't always sing; sometimes he gives the crowd a break from dancing and relaxes with quiet, simple tunes on his guitar while chugging down water. He needs water when he's performing for too long, necessary to take care of his voice - but he suspects Dick quickly brought a water bottle to the stage to stop him from drinking more. It's fair, and Jaskier is thankful. It wouldn't be a good idea to end the night drunk.
What is strange is him not engaging the public more closely. Sure, he asks for requests and encourages everyone to dance, but he's always speaking in general. He doesn't do that thing where he looks at every single person in the eye to make them feel like he's singing directly to them... and that's because he doesn't want to look too closely to check if Midge and Lenny are dancing or not. He doesn't want to think, he just wants to lose himself in the music.
Eventually, the event has to end. Little by little, people leave the bar, always happy to have enjoyed a night of inspiration. Jaskier helps other musicians put away their instruments, which is something he always does but also a way to buy time. What brings him back to reality is an artist approaching him before leaving to gift him a page from her notebook. It's full of little sketches, mostly of Jaskier's expressions on the stage. One sketch stands out among the others, though: it's him and Midge dancing. The artist captured all their emotions very well, and Jaskier is in love with the level of detail but also can feel his stomach turning at what he sees.
That's not all: the artist says she's given Midge 'the twin'. Shaken between curiosity and nervous wreck, Jaskier picks up his things and finally goes back to the couch. Midge has the right page to his left, and it's full of sketches of her too, in her case, her expressions whenever she told funny anecdotes while she mingled. Her own kind of performance. Instead of her and Jaskier dancing, her 'centerpiece' is them writing together on the couch. The emotions are just as detailed.
He takes a deep breath, almost as if needing to gather courage before speaking. "Told you the artists would find you inspiring."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Lenny hit a nerve. He’s honestly not trying to make anyone upset.
“I probably will ask her to dance, because that’s a pretty innocent thing, but it means a lot to a woman like her. She’s used to being treated in a certain manner. Guys like me are far out of her league.” He takes a drag of his cigarette. “Midge likes how you treat her though. She likes you. Maybe I’m an asshole for pointing out something obvious like that to you, but I genuinely wasn’t sure if you knew.”
no subject
When Lenny says he's out of Midge's league, Jaskier snorts and asks for another pint of beer, sensing that this conversation is going to need it. What is it with these two and all the denial? He could've understood if they thought the other didn't like them back - it'd be a classic case of one-sided pining. But they both seem aware that there's something there, and Jaskier hates how they make it more complicated than it actually is.
"So you're hiding from her, got it." He shakes his head, exasperated by the whole thing. "I assure you that we both know that we like each other. Am I an arsehole for pointing out she likes you too, then?"
no subject
He won’t be bringing it up with her.
“There’s no doubt who she’ll be going home with tonight, or at least who she wants to go home with. You can either have a pleasant evening, or you can keep pushing her towards something she isn’t interested in exploring, but I guarantee that will ruin your night.”
no subject
For two people who supposedly have no interest in exploring something, they sure aren't showing it. They're absolutely ridiculous.
"You're married. That's why she hasn't gone home with you, not because she doesn't want to." His new pint arrives, but he doesn't notice. His eyes are on Lenny, who is hitting too many sore spots. He's much better with words than Rose, that's for sure. "So drop the out of her league crap. It's not kind, it's condescending." He sighs and finally sees the beer, so he takes a very long sip. "This is why you wanted to talk to me? To ask me to stop?"
no subject
He’s quiet for a moment so that he can choose his words carefully.
“Just because you want something doesn’t mean that it’s good for you or that you ought to have it. I’m no good for her, and that’s a fact.”
Midge shouldn’t have to put up with his heroin addiction. Or the women. Or how he can be violent when he’s high. She’s going places, and she doesn’t need him pulling her down into the gutter with him.
“You don’t have to take my advice. I’m an idiot anyway. I just wanted to give you my take on the situation and let you know that if you keep pushing her, you’ll push her away. But, I’m sure you’ll move on to someone else instead.” He can’t help getting a little dig in, since the guy had the nerve to call him condescending without knowing a damn thing about his life.
Lenny finishes his beer and puts out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar. “Looking forward to hearing you sing tonight.” He means it too.
Conversation over, Lenny goes off to speak with some of the writers.
no subject
Before he can stop himself, his hand closes around Lenny's wrist when he reaches for the ashtray.
"You're right. What you want isn't always what is good for you." He isn't being sarcastic; the agreement is sincere. "And I'm not what Midge needs - which I've already told her. Several times." He hisses the last part, barely containing his anger. He's fucking tired of people looking to put the blame on him when he's been clear about his intentions since the fucking beginning. What his heart feels is irrelevant. "If you truly want her to be happy, if you're truly against the idea of pushing - then don't push her toward me, either. Because right now? You're doing exactly what you're scolding me for."
Jaskier finally lets go of Lenny's wrist then, and doesn't believe him when he says he looks forward to his music. He doesn't answer, though; he just finishes his beer in one go, desperate to drown all the thoughts in his head.
Can you?
His limbs moving on automatic, Jaskier rushes backstage and through the back door so he can make it to the alley. The smell of the trash containers is awful, but he doesn't care now. He just kicks a can as he lets out a very loud fuck, the U elongated enough to scare away a cat.
He's in a bad mood now, but he doesn't want to leave. Usually, this is the kind of thing he'd chase away with a quick orgasm in a bathroom stall, yet sex is what put him on the spot in the first place. Talking to Geralt often worked, too, yet again - this is the one subject where the witcher will make it worse.
Molly finds him, then, innocently looking for her singer to start a jamming session, only for her face to drop when she sees the state Jaskier is in. Before she can ask anything, Jaskier quotes something she said to him in the past (Let's rock their socks off.) before following her inside.
Music is good. Music is orgasmic, too. Music can take over his body and make him forget, at least for a little while. He rushes to the stage and takes his guitar without a word, causing his band to gasp and run after him while teasing him for not doing a proper call.
Usually, Jaskier would say something sweet to the public, introduce the band and all, but now he directly throws himself into the music. They stick to covers so everyone can dance and Jaskier doesn't have to worry about revisions of his new material. He pours all his emotions into his singing and doesn't use a pick on the guitar, wanting to feel the vibrations of the strings right on his skin.
The good thing about covers is that people sing along. Jaskier basks in the attention and lets the cheers of the crowd make love to his ears so he can lose himself in creative bliss.
no subject
She sure can pick em, can’t she?
Meanwhile, Midge has been working with Perdita and they have the beginning of a stand up set for her. It’s nice that other women are getting into comedy. There are too many unfunny men.
The dwarf leaves to help with managing the bar. A few minutes later, Jaskier storms on stage, looking irritated. Midge had seen him speaking with Lenny at the bar. What happened?
She gets lost in the music, grinning up at him on stage. After a few songs, Lenny comes to sit next to her. “He’s good,” he says.
“He is,” she replies. “Whatever you said to him pissed him off.”
Lenny is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. “Are you happy?”
Midge looks at him, searching his face for any sort of indication that this is a trick question. Finding none, she answers honestly. “Yes. I am.” Things aren’t ideal, but she’s happy.
“That’s all that matters.”
no subject
It's unusual for him - this kind of event usually means a mix of mingling and performing. But while it may be unusual, it isn't strange - he's a musician, this is an art event, it makes sense for him to spend his time making music. Sometimes it's with the band, other times other musicians come in and they play a little improvisation game with him. He doesn't always sing; sometimes he gives the crowd a break from dancing and relaxes with quiet, simple tunes on his guitar while chugging down water. He needs water when he's performing for too long, necessary to take care of his voice - but he suspects Dick quickly brought a water bottle to the stage to stop him from drinking more. It's fair, and Jaskier is thankful. It wouldn't be a good idea to end the night drunk.
What is strange is him not engaging the public more closely. Sure, he asks for requests and encourages everyone to dance, but he's always speaking in general. He doesn't do that thing where he looks at every single person in the eye to make them feel like he's singing directly to them... and that's because he doesn't want to look too closely to check if Midge and Lenny are dancing or not. He doesn't want to think, he just wants to lose himself in the music.
Eventually, the event has to end. Little by little, people leave the bar, always happy to have enjoyed a night of inspiration. Jaskier helps other musicians put away their instruments, which is something he always does but also a way to buy time. What brings him back to reality is an artist approaching him before leaving to gift him a page from her notebook. It's full of little sketches, mostly of Jaskier's expressions on the stage. One sketch stands out among the others, though: it's him and Midge dancing. The artist captured all their emotions very well, and Jaskier is in love with the level of detail but also can feel his stomach turning at what he sees.
That's not all: the artist says she's given Midge 'the twin'. Shaken between curiosity and nervous wreck, Jaskier picks up his things and finally goes back to the couch. Midge has the right page to his left, and it's full of sketches of her too, in her case, her expressions whenever she told funny anecdotes while she mingled. Her own kind of performance. Instead of her and Jaskier dancing, her 'centerpiece' is them writing together on the couch. The emotions are just as detailed.
He takes a deep breath, almost as if needing to gather courage before speaking. "Told you the artists would find you inspiring."