It's ironic, because Jaskier is thinking the same thing: this guy doesn't know him, yet he speaks like he understands Jaskier and the way he thinks. His heart constricts when Lenny says moving on to someone else, memories flooding his mind of how he learned the hard fucking way that he can't give people what they want when it comes to love.
Before he can stop himself, his hand closes around Lenny's wrist when he reaches for the ashtray.
"You're right. What you want isn't always what is good for you." He isn't being sarcastic; the agreement is sincere. "And I'm not what Midge needs - which I've already told her. Several times." He hisses the last part, barely containing his anger. He's fucking tired of people looking to put the blame on him when he's been clear about his intentions since the fucking beginning. What his heart feels is irrelevant. "If you truly want her to be happy, if you're truly against the idea of pushing - then don't push her toward me, either. Because right now? You're doing exactly what you're scolding me for."
Jaskier finally lets go of Lenny's wrist then, and doesn't believe him when he says he looks forward to his music. He doesn't answer, though; he just finishes his beer in one go, desperate to drown all the thoughts in his head.
Can you?
His limbs moving on automatic, Jaskier rushes backstage and through the back door so he can make it to the alley. The smell of the trash containers is awful, but he doesn't care now. He just kicks a can as he lets out a very loud fuck, the U elongated enough to scare away a cat.
He's in a bad mood now, but he doesn't want to leave. Usually, this is the kind of thing he'd chase away with a quick orgasm in a bathroom stall, yet sex is what put him on the spot in the first place. Talking to Geralt often worked, too, yet again - this is the one subject where the witcher will make it worse.
Molly finds him, then, innocently looking for her singer to start a jamming session, only for her face to drop when she sees the state Jaskier is in. Before she can ask anything, Jaskier quotes something she said to him in the past (Let's rock their socks off.) before following her inside.
Music is good. Music is orgasmic, too. Music can take over his body and make him forget, at least for a little while. He rushes to the stage and takes his guitar without a word, causing his band to gasp and run after him while teasing him for not doing a proper call.
Usually, Jaskier would say something sweet to the public, introduce the band and all, but now he directly throws himself into the music. They stick to covers so everyone can dance and Jaskier doesn't have to worry about revisions of his new material. He pours all his emotions into his singing and doesn't use a pick on the guitar, wanting to feel the vibrations of the strings right on his skin.
The good thing about covers is that people sing along. Jaskier basks in the attention and lets the cheers of the crowd make love to his ears so he can lose himself in creative bliss.
It’s a fair point. Lenny doesn’t know him. Jaskier could be a horrible person. Maybe both of them need to stop trying to manipulate her and let her decide what she wants, even if it’s obvious to him that Midge wants Jaskier.
She sure can pick em, can’t she?
Meanwhile, Midge has been working with Perdita and they have the beginning of a stand up set for her. It’s nice that other women are getting into comedy. There are too many unfunny men.
The dwarf leaves to help with managing the bar. A few minutes later, Jaskier storms on stage, looking irritated. Midge had seen him speaking with Lenny at the bar. What happened?
She gets lost in the music, grinning up at him on stage. After a few songs, Lenny comes to sit next to her. “He’s good,” he says.
“He is,” she replies. “Whatever you said to him pissed him off.”
Lenny is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. “Are you happy?”
Midge looks at him, searching his face for any sort of indication that this is a trick question. Finding none, she answers honestly. “Yes. I am.” Things aren’t ideal, but she’s happy.
Jaskier stays on the stage for the rest of the night.
It's unusual for him - this kind of event usually means a mix of mingling and performing. But while it may be unusual, it isn't strange - he's a musician, this is an art event, it makes sense for him to spend his time making music. Sometimes it's with the band, other times other musicians come in and they play a little improvisation game with him. He doesn't always sing; sometimes he gives the crowd a break from dancing and relaxes with quiet, simple tunes on his guitar while chugging down water. He needs water when he's performing for too long, necessary to take care of his voice - but he suspects Dick quickly brought a water bottle to the stage to stop him from drinking more. It's fair, and Jaskier is thankful. It wouldn't be a good idea to end the night drunk.
What is strange is him not engaging the public more closely. Sure, he asks for requests and encourages everyone to dance, but he's always speaking in general. He doesn't do that thing where he looks at every single person in the eye to make them feel like he's singing directly to them... and that's because he doesn't want to look too closely to check if Midge and Lenny are dancing or not. He doesn't want to think, he just wants to lose himself in the music.
Eventually, the event has to end. Little by little, people leave the bar, always happy to have enjoyed a night of inspiration. Jaskier helps other musicians put away their instruments, which is something he always does but also a way to buy time. What brings him back to reality is an artist approaching him before leaving to gift him a page from her notebook. It's full of little sketches, mostly of Jaskier's expressions on the stage. One sketch stands out among the others, though: it's him and Midge dancing. The artist captured all their emotions very well, and Jaskier is in love with the level of detail but also can feel his stomach turning at what he sees.
That's not all: the artist says she's given Midge 'the twin'. Shaken between curiosity and nervous wreck, Jaskier picks up his things and finally goes back to the couch. Midge has the right page to his left, and it's full of sketches of her too, in her case, her expressions whenever she told funny anecdotes while she mingled. Her own kind of performance. Instead of her and Jaskier dancing, her 'centerpiece' is them writing together on the couch. The emotions are just as detailed.
He takes a deep breath, almost as if needing to gather courage before speaking. "Told you the artists would find you inspiring."
Midge has only seen Jaskier perform on stage a few times, but she can tell that there’s something different about tonight. He’s fantastic as always, but he’s not interacting with the crowd as much as he normally does. She wonders if their conversation upset him or if it was something that Lenny said to him.
Lenny is curiously silent around Midge, just watching her watch Jaskier. When Jaskier plays a ballad, he asks her to dance and she accepts. They dance slowly together, though not as closely or as intimately as she danced with Jaskier. It’s still nice. Lenny’s a great guy. Things might be different if circumstances were different. Or if she’d never met Jaskier.
The night wears on and eventually Lenny stands up to go. He clasps Midge’s hand and tells her to take care of herself before disappearing into the smoky darkness of the club.
When Jaskier finishes playing, Midge retreats back to the couch where she had started the evening. One of the artists approaches her, wanting to give her some of the quick sketches that she made of her. They’re quite good, and they make Midge smile.
She’s gazing at the one of she and Jaskier dancing with her head on his shoulder when Jaskier himself approaches. Midge offers him a smile. “Must have been a slow night for them,” she says softly, reaching for his hand. “You were great.”
"Thanks," he simply replies. Her hand is warm in his - always is. Before he can stop himself, he raises her hand to his face to nuzzle it with a tired sigh. It's not fair - he's in desperate need of comfort, yet the person who can provide it -the one he wants to cling to as if his life depended on it- is also the one who has him feeling like this. Geralt is probably snorting at him at home just from the vibes.
He doesn't know what to do, what to say, and that's a big fucking deal from this big mouth.
"Let me wash up and we can get going." Because a little makeup goes unnoticed, but all this makeup may end up in a hate crime. Should they going? He doesn't know, he's just moving through his sheer need to be with her.
He barely takes three steps toward the bathroom before he comes back, a worried and pained expression on his face.
"Why did you think I was trying to get rid of you?"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Before he can stop himself, his hand closes around Lenny's wrist when he reaches for the ashtray.
"You're right. What you want isn't always what is good for you." He isn't being sarcastic; the agreement is sincere. "And I'm not what Midge needs - which I've already told her. Several times." He hisses the last part, barely containing his anger. He's fucking tired of people looking to put the blame on him when he's been clear about his intentions since the fucking beginning. What his heart feels is irrelevant. "If you truly want her to be happy, if you're truly against the idea of pushing - then don't push her toward me, either. Because right now? You're doing exactly what you're scolding me for."
Jaskier finally lets go of Lenny's wrist then, and doesn't believe him when he says he looks forward to his music. He doesn't answer, though; he just finishes his beer in one go, desperate to drown all the thoughts in his head.
Can you?
His limbs moving on automatic, Jaskier rushes backstage and through the back door so he can make it to the alley. The smell of the trash containers is awful, but he doesn't care now. He just kicks a can as he lets out a very loud fuck, the U elongated enough to scare away a cat.
He's in a bad mood now, but he doesn't want to leave. Usually, this is the kind of thing he'd chase away with a quick orgasm in a bathroom stall, yet sex is what put him on the spot in the first place. Talking to Geralt often worked, too, yet again - this is the one subject where the witcher will make it worse.
Molly finds him, then, innocently looking for her singer to start a jamming session, only for her face to drop when she sees the state Jaskier is in. Before she can ask anything, Jaskier quotes something she said to him in the past (Let's rock their socks off.) before following her inside.
Music is good. Music is orgasmic, too. Music can take over his body and make him forget, at least for a little while. He rushes to the stage and takes his guitar without a word, causing his band to gasp and run after him while teasing him for not doing a proper call.
Usually, Jaskier would say something sweet to the public, introduce the band and all, but now he directly throws himself into the music. They stick to covers so everyone can dance and Jaskier doesn't have to worry about revisions of his new material. He pours all his emotions into his singing and doesn't use a pick on the guitar, wanting to feel the vibrations of the strings right on his skin.
The good thing about covers is that people sing along. Jaskier basks in the attention and lets the cheers of the crowd make love to his ears so he can lose himself in creative bliss.
no subject
She sure can pick em, can’t she?
Meanwhile, Midge has been working with Perdita and they have the beginning of a stand up set for her. It’s nice that other women are getting into comedy. There are too many unfunny men.
The dwarf leaves to help with managing the bar. A few minutes later, Jaskier storms on stage, looking irritated. Midge had seen him speaking with Lenny at the bar. What happened?
She gets lost in the music, grinning up at him on stage. After a few songs, Lenny comes to sit next to her. “He’s good,” he says.
“He is,” she replies. “Whatever you said to him pissed him off.”
Lenny is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. “Are you happy?”
Midge looks at him, searching his face for any sort of indication that this is a trick question. Finding none, she answers honestly. “Yes. I am.” Things aren’t ideal, but she’s happy.
“That’s all that matters.”
no subject
It's unusual for him - this kind of event usually means a mix of mingling and performing. But while it may be unusual, it isn't strange - he's a musician, this is an art event, it makes sense for him to spend his time making music. Sometimes it's with the band, other times other musicians come in and they play a little improvisation game with him. He doesn't always sing; sometimes he gives the crowd a break from dancing and relaxes with quiet, simple tunes on his guitar while chugging down water. He needs water when he's performing for too long, necessary to take care of his voice - but he suspects Dick quickly brought a water bottle to the stage to stop him from drinking more. It's fair, and Jaskier is thankful. It wouldn't be a good idea to end the night drunk.
What is strange is him not engaging the public more closely. Sure, he asks for requests and encourages everyone to dance, but he's always speaking in general. He doesn't do that thing where he looks at every single person in the eye to make them feel like he's singing directly to them... and that's because he doesn't want to look too closely to check if Midge and Lenny are dancing or not. He doesn't want to think, he just wants to lose himself in the music.
Eventually, the event has to end. Little by little, people leave the bar, always happy to have enjoyed a night of inspiration. Jaskier helps other musicians put away their instruments, which is something he always does but also a way to buy time. What brings him back to reality is an artist approaching him before leaving to gift him a page from her notebook. It's full of little sketches, mostly of Jaskier's expressions on the stage. One sketch stands out among the others, though: it's him and Midge dancing. The artist captured all their emotions very well, and Jaskier is in love with the level of detail but also can feel his stomach turning at what he sees.
That's not all: the artist says she's given Midge 'the twin'. Shaken between curiosity and nervous wreck, Jaskier picks up his things and finally goes back to the couch. Midge has the right page to his left, and it's full of sketches of her too, in her case, her expressions whenever she told funny anecdotes while she mingled. Her own kind of performance. Instead of her and Jaskier dancing, her 'centerpiece' is them writing together on the couch. The emotions are just as detailed.
He takes a deep breath, almost as if needing to gather courage before speaking. "Told you the artists would find you inspiring."
no subject
Lenny is curiously silent around Midge, just watching her watch Jaskier. When Jaskier plays a ballad, he asks her to dance and she accepts. They dance slowly together, though not as closely or as intimately as she danced with Jaskier. It’s still nice. Lenny’s a great guy. Things might be different if circumstances were different. Or if she’d never met Jaskier.
The night wears on and eventually Lenny stands up to go. He clasps Midge’s hand and tells her to take care of herself before disappearing into the smoky darkness of the club.
When Jaskier finishes playing, Midge retreats back to the couch where she had started the evening. One of the artists approaches her, wanting to give her some of the quick sketches that she made of her. They’re quite good, and they make Midge smile.
She’s gazing at the one of she and Jaskier dancing with her head on his shoulder when Jaskier himself approaches. Midge offers him a smile. “Must have been a slow night for them,” she says softly, reaching for his hand. “You were great.”
no subject
He doesn't know what to do, what to say, and that's a big fucking deal from this big mouth.
"Let me wash up and we can get going." Because a little makeup goes unnoticed, but all this makeup may end up in a hate crime. Should they going? He doesn't know, he's just moving through his sheer need to be with her.
He barely takes three steps toward the bathroom before he comes back, a worried and pained expression on his face.
"Why did you think I was trying to get rid of you?"