Jaskier stares at her for a second and sighs again. This isn't connected to their usual talks, not technically, yet it feels like it.
Can you?
Like they're always dancing around the same subject and cowardly pushing it away.
Can you?
Just like he was patient for years with Geralt, he reminds himself to repeat the process here, considering what Joel has put her through. He kisses her forehead and nuzzles her hair, hoping it provides comfort.
"I believe I said it multiple times, and I'll keep repeating it: I don't keep around anything or anyone that I don't like. If I had wanted to get rid of you, you would've known. I don't. Your texts brighten my day. What I'm eager about is seeing you go out there and enjoy life. I wish I could've taken a picture of you blushing at the poet on his knees. It was very cute."
The physical affection does give her some comfort and she doesn’t feel as bereft as she did. Midge knows what he said earlier about keeping people that he likes around. Sometimes she wonders what he likes though - her or the sex.
A smile crosses her face when he mentions the poet. “That was sweet. I wasn’t expecting anything like that.”
At least she's smiling again. Jaskier still can't help but look around, as if waiting for Lenny to cut in to ask her for a dance. Which would be fine with him, yet he wonders if it won't send Midge into an emotional spiral. Dammit, this evening was supposed to be carefree and fun.
"That's how inspiring you are," he teases. "If you want your portrait done, I bet many a painter wouldn't mind having you as a model."
"Tonight is about sketches and quick inspiration. They won't mind if you're writing or chatting with anyone else." He gasps when he hears about the dwarf. "Perdita is--? Oh, that silly woman, she's been keeping that from me!" But he sounds delighted and very happy for her. "Please, go, make a new friend. I'll cuddle you later." He kisses the corner of her mouth before walking away.
The band wonders if he'll join them for some improvisation and he assures them that he will, he just needs a quick stop by the toilet first. It isn't until he's washing his hands that he notices Lenny leaning against the wall - it seems he's been waiting until they're alone. Fuck, that can't be good.
Jaskier keeps his charming smile up while fixing his hair in front of the mirror, pretending this is like any other time a handsome man approaches him in the bathroom. "I know I'm so pretty that I seem to take over the whole mirror, but I promise there's enough room for both of us." A stupid comment to break the ice, since he's so unsure of what Lenny may want.
“I don’t make a habit of meeting men like this,” Lenny says as he approaches the mirror next to Jaskier, “but I hope you won’t mind, as I wanted to talk about our mutual friend. I’ll buy you a drink?”
'Not a habit' doesn't equal 'never', so Jaskier can't help raising an eyebrow. If Lenny hadn't mentioned Midge, he would totally be wondering if this is a very intricate way for a closeted man to try to flirt.
He is friendly, so this talk is already ten thousand times better than Abe's. But to be fair, Jaskier knows how to stay charming in tense situations, too. As worried as he may be, though, his curiosity is stronger. He wants to learn more about them and whatever the hell is happening here. Also, he likes hanging out with charming, handsome men - sue him.
"Consider me intrigued," he answers with a nod.
Soon, Jaskier is leaning against the bar and sipping another beer. He watches Lenny closely, both trying to understand what he feels through body language, but also just admiring how pretty he is.
"Thank you for coming, by the way. It means a lot for the little artists to have such support."
Lenny leans next to him with a beer of his own and lights a cigarette.
“I’ve come a few times,” Lenny replies. “I like seeing what other artists are doing, especially in New York. These days, I spend a lot of time in California, where people are far more pretentious, but far less talented.”
He blows a plume of smoke away from Jaskier’s face. Both men’s eyes search for Midge in the club, finding her sitting at a table with Perdita looking over a page of the dwarf’s jokes.
Jaskier wrinkles his nose at the cigarette and waves his hand to keep the smoke away, but he does laugh at Lenny's joke. Fuck, it's so hard not to flirt with him.
"Are the famous beaches pretentious too?" he can't help but ask. He's heard about California and the whole Los Angeles thing; he's been curious about it.
He smiles at the sight of Midge and Perdita getting along. It makes him happy to see his girls having fun and making friends, it's what they deserve. When Lenny speaks, though, Jaskier keeps his eyes on him, not wanting to miss any detail.
"I haven't been keeping track. Two months, give it or take?"
“Not a smoker?” It’s surprising, since most people smoke, but Lenny will try to keep the smoke away from him.
“California definitely has New York beat when it comes to beaches,” Lenny says. “The weather is beautiful out there.”
He glances back at Jaskier. “Not very long, then. We’ve known each other for about two years. We run in some of the same circles. Before you came up to us, she was all smiles when she told me about her friend who had brought her here tonight. She was excited to introduce us.”
"I'm a singer. I must protect my throat and lungs. I'll stick to alcohol and mushrooms, thank you very much." He takes another sip of his beer to make his point.
California does sound nice for at least a vacation, and Jaskier makes a mental note to at least stop by portal sometime.
"I was excited to introduce her to my friends, too," he replies, still unsure of where this is going. But it does feel nice to know that Midge talks about him - he never knows how 'hidden' she keeps him among her friends. A little smile reaches his lips. "Did I make such a bad first impression that you had to escape?" He keeps his tone joking, but it's his discreet way to try to learn what happened.
Lenny shrugs; that’s fair enough. “Mushrooms put me into a stupor. I can’t do those if I have somewhere to be. Are you a good singer?” Most people know if they’re actually any good or not, don’t they?
“No, no, nothing like that,” Lenny continues. “It was when you suggested that she and I dance. Have you ever watched all of the air slowly leave a balloon? And then it just kind of flops over dead? That’s what I felt like I was watching.
Look, I don’t know what sort of relationship the two of you have, nor is it my business. I don’t want to speak out of turn either. But I’ve known Midge for a while, and I’ve never seen her react that way before. It just made sense to excuse myself.”
"Well, fuck. That doesn't sound like the ones in my world. Thanks for the heads up, I guess." He grins at the question. "Good? I'm amazing. Everyone knew my name at home."
Jaskier drinks just to forget that he has to start his career all over again. Hearing what Lenny has to say makes him empty the pint in one go. At least he's much kinder than Rose about it, and he actually saw something that made him react this way instead of just being generally nosy. Jaskier can't blame him for wanting to protect Midge; he would've probably done the same.
Yet he can't help but feel a little irritated, merely because he's tired of how they keep dancing around the same subject over and over. It just puts Geralt's voice in his head again, telling him to end it before it's too late.
Can you?
Since Lenny is genuinely caring, Jaskier doesn't tell him off. He likes what he's seen of the guy so far, not to mention he doubts Midge would be happy if they don't get along.
"There was a little misunderstanding, but we've already cleared it up. You should ask her to dance - such a keen observer you are, you must already know she'll say yes. Which begs the question--" He tilts his head as he crosses his arms. "Why are you talking to me instead of checking on her?"
Lenny hit a nerve. He’s honestly not trying to make anyone upset.
“I probably will ask her to dance, because that’s a pretty innocent thing, but it means a lot to a woman like her. She’s used to being treated in a certain manner. Guys like me are far out of her league.” He takes a drag of his cigarette. “Midge likes how you treat her though. She likes you. Maybe I’m an asshole for pointing out something obvious like that to you, but I genuinely wasn’t sure if you knew.”
"Yeah. The dancing troupe has come and I like playing for them."
When Lenny says he's out of Midge's league, Jaskier snorts and asks for another pint of beer, sensing that this conversation is going to need it. What is it with these two and all the denial? He could've understood if they thought the other didn't like them back - it'd be a classic case of one-sided pining. But they both seem aware that there's something there, and Jaskier hates how they make it more complicated than it actually is.
"So you're hiding from her, got it." He shakes his head, exasperated by the whole thing. "I assure you that we both know that we like each other. Am I an arsehole for pointing out she likes you too, then?"
“Not really hiding,” he says with a shrug. “If I really didn’t want to see her, I’d leave. Midge has her reasons for not taking things further, as do I. We haven’t discussed it.”
He won’t be bringing it up with her.
“There’s no doubt who she’ll be going home with tonight, or at least who she wants to go home with. You can either have a pleasant evening, or you can keep pushing her towards something she isn’t interested in exploring, but I guarantee that will ruin your night.”
"Mayhaps you should discuss it, then. You both keep denying it, yet it took me only three steps to notice all the eye-fucking."
For two people who supposedly have no interest in exploring something, they sure aren't showing it. They're absolutely ridiculous.
"You're married. That's why she hasn't gone home with you, not because she doesn't want to." His new pint arrives, but he doesn't notice. His eyes are on Lenny, who is hitting too many sore spots. He's much better with words than Rose, that's for sure. "So drop the out of her league crap. It's not kind, it's condescending." He sighs and finally sees the beer, so he takes a very long sip. "This is why you wanted to talk to me? To ask me to stop?"
Lenny has a better picture of Jaskier and Midge’s relationship now. It’s sex, at least from his perspective. She might be trying for something more.
He’s quiet for a moment so that he can choose his words carefully.
“Just because you want something doesn’t mean that it’s good for you or that you ought to have it. I’m no good for her, and that’s a fact.”
Midge shouldn’t have to put up with his heroin addiction. Or the women. Or how he can be violent when he’s high. She’s going places, and she doesn’t need him pulling her down into the gutter with him.
“You don’t have to take my advice. I’m an idiot anyway. I just wanted to give you my take on the situation and let you know that if you keep pushing her, you’ll push her away. But, I’m sure you’ll move on to someone else instead.” He can’t help getting a little dig in, since the guy had the nerve to call him condescending without knowing a damn thing about his life.
Lenny finishes his beer and puts out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar. “Looking forward to hearing you sing tonight.” He means it too.
Conversation over, Lenny goes off to speak with some of the writers.
It's ironic, because Jaskier is thinking the same thing: this guy doesn't know him, yet he speaks like he understands Jaskier and the way he thinks. His heart constricts when Lenny says moving on to someone else, memories flooding his mind of how he learned the hard fucking way that he can't give people what they want when it comes to love.
Before he can stop himself, his hand closes around Lenny's wrist when he reaches for the ashtray.
"You're right. What you want isn't always what is good for you." He isn't being sarcastic; the agreement is sincere. "And I'm not what Midge needs - which I've already told her. Several times." He hisses the last part, barely containing his anger. He's fucking tired of people looking to put the blame on him when he's been clear about his intentions since the fucking beginning. What his heart feels is irrelevant. "If you truly want her to be happy, if you're truly against the idea of pushing - then don't push her toward me, either. Because right now? You're doing exactly what you're scolding me for."
Jaskier finally lets go of Lenny's wrist then, and doesn't believe him when he says he looks forward to his music. He doesn't answer, though; he just finishes his beer in one go, desperate to drown all the thoughts in his head.
Can you?
His limbs moving on automatic, Jaskier rushes backstage and through the back door so he can make it to the alley. The smell of the trash containers is awful, but he doesn't care now. He just kicks a can as he lets out a very loud fuck, the U elongated enough to scare away a cat.
He's in a bad mood now, but he doesn't want to leave. Usually, this is the kind of thing he'd chase away with a quick orgasm in a bathroom stall, yet sex is what put him on the spot in the first place. Talking to Geralt often worked, too, yet again - this is the one subject where the witcher will make it worse.
Molly finds him, then, innocently looking for her singer to start a jamming session, only for her face to drop when she sees the state Jaskier is in. Before she can ask anything, Jaskier quotes something she said to him in the past (Let's rock their socks off.) before following her inside.
Music is good. Music is orgasmic, too. Music can take over his body and make him forget, at least for a little while. He rushes to the stage and takes his guitar without a word, causing his band to gasp and run after him while teasing him for not doing a proper call.
Usually, Jaskier would say something sweet to the public, introduce the band and all, but now he directly throws himself into the music. They stick to covers so everyone can dance and Jaskier doesn't have to worry about revisions of his new material. He pours all his emotions into his singing and doesn't use a pick on the guitar, wanting to feel the vibrations of the strings right on his skin.
The good thing about covers is that people sing along. Jaskier basks in the attention and lets the cheers of the crowd make love to his ears so he can lose himself in creative bliss.
It’s a fair point. Lenny doesn’t know him. Jaskier could be a horrible person. Maybe both of them need to stop trying to manipulate her and let her decide what she wants, even if it’s obvious to him that Midge wants Jaskier.
She sure can pick em, can’t she?
Meanwhile, Midge has been working with Perdita and they have the beginning of a stand up set for her. It’s nice that other women are getting into comedy. There are too many unfunny men.
The dwarf leaves to help with managing the bar. A few minutes later, Jaskier storms on stage, looking irritated. Midge had seen him speaking with Lenny at the bar. What happened?
She gets lost in the music, grinning up at him on stage. After a few songs, Lenny comes to sit next to her. “He’s good,” he says.
“He is,” she replies. “Whatever you said to him pissed him off.”
Lenny is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. “Are you happy?”
Midge looks at him, searching his face for any sort of indication that this is a trick question. Finding none, she answers honestly. “Yes. I am.” Things aren’t ideal, but she’s happy.
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Can you?
Like they're always dancing around the same subject and cowardly pushing it away.
Can you?
Just like he was patient for years with Geralt, he reminds himself to repeat the process here, considering what Joel has put her through. He kisses her forehead and nuzzles her hair, hoping it provides comfort.
"I believe I said it multiple times, and I'll keep repeating it: I don't keep around anything or anyone that I don't like. If I had wanted to get rid of you, you would've known. I don't. Your texts brighten my day. What I'm eager about is seeing you go out there and enjoy life. I wish I could've taken a picture of you blushing at the poet on his knees. It was very cute."
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A smile crosses her face when he mentions the poet. “That was sweet. I wasn’t expecting anything like that.”
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"That's how inspiring you are," he teases. "If you want your portrait done, I bet many a painter wouldn't mind having you as a model."
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When the song, and thus their dance, ends, Midge steps out of Jaskier’s embrace.
“Perdita asked me to listen to a few of her jokes and help her tweak them to make them funnier,” she says. “I’ll meet you on the couch later?”
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The band wonders if he'll join them for some improvisation and he assures them that he will, he just needs a quick stop by the toilet first. It isn't until he's washing his hands that he notices Lenny leaning against the wall - it seems he's been waiting until they're alone. Fuck, that can't be good.
Jaskier keeps his charming smile up while fixing his hair in front of the mirror, pretending this is like any other time a handsome man approaches him in the bathroom. "I know I'm so pretty that I seem to take over the whole mirror, but I promise there's enough room for both of us." A stupid comment to break the ice, since he's so unsure of what Lenny may want.
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His demeanor is friendly and non-threatening.
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He is friendly, so this talk is already ten thousand times better than Abe's. But to be fair, Jaskier knows how to stay charming in tense situations, too. As worried as he may be, though, his curiosity is stronger. He wants to learn more about them and whatever the hell is happening here. Also, he likes hanging out with charming, handsome men - sue him.
"Consider me intrigued," he answers with a nod.
Soon, Jaskier is leaning against the bar and sipping another beer. He watches Lenny closely, both trying to understand what he feels through body language, but also just admiring how pretty he is.
"Thank you for coming, by the way. It means a lot for the little artists to have such support."
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“I’ve come a few times,” Lenny replies. “I like seeing what other artists are doing, especially in New York. These days, I spend a lot of time in California, where people are far more pretentious, but far less talented.”
He blows a plume of smoke away from Jaskier’s face. Both men’s eyes search for Midge in the club, finding her sitting at a table with Perdita looking over a page of the dwarf’s jokes.
“How long have you known Midge?” Lenny asks.
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"Are the famous beaches pretentious too?" he can't help but ask. He's heard about California and the whole Los Angeles thing; he's been curious about it.
He smiles at the sight of Midge and Perdita getting along. It makes him happy to see his girls having fun and making friends, it's what they deserve. When Lenny speaks, though, Jaskier keeps his eyes on him, not wanting to miss any detail.
"I haven't been keeping track. Two months, give it or take?"
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“California definitely has New York beat when it comes to beaches,” Lenny says. “The weather is beautiful out there.”
He glances back at Jaskier. “Not very long, then. We’ve known each other for about two years. We run in some of the same circles. Before you came up to us, she was all smiles when she told me about her friend who had brought her here tonight. She was excited to introduce us.”
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California does sound nice for at least a vacation, and Jaskier makes a mental note to at least stop by portal sometime.
"I was excited to introduce her to my friends, too," he replies, still unsure of where this is going. But it does feel nice to know that Midge talks about him - he never knows how 'hidden' she keeps him among her friends. A little smile reaches his lips. "Did I make such a bad first impression that you had to escape?" He keeps his tone joking, but it's his discreet way to try to learn what happened.
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“No, no, nothing like that,” Lenny continues. “It was when you suggested that she and I dance. Have you ever watched all of the air slowly leave a balloon? And then it just kind of flops over dead? That’s what I felt like I was watching.
Look, I don’t know what sort of relationship the two of you have, nor is it my business. I don’t want to speak out of turn either. But I’ve known Midge for a while, and I’ve never seen her react that way before. It just made sense to excuse myself.”
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Jaskier drinks just to forget that he has to start his career all over again. Hearing what Lenny has to say makes him empty the pint in one go. At least he's much kinder than Rose about it, and he actually saw something that made him react this way instead of just being generally nosy. Jaskier can't blame him for wanting to protect Midge; he would've probably done the same.
Yet he can't help but feel a little irritated, merely because he's tired of how they keep dancing around the same subject over and over. It just puts Geralt's voice in his head again, telling him to end it before it's too late.
Can you?
Since Lenny is genuinely caring, Jaskier doesn't tell him off. He likes what he's seen of the guy so far, not to mention he doubts Midge would be happy if they don't get along.
"There was a little misunderstanding, but we've already cleared it up. You should ask her to dance - such a keen observer you are, you must already know she'll say yes. Which begs the question--" He tilts his head as he crosses his arms. "Why are you talking to me instead of checking on her?"
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Lenny hit a nerve. He’s honestly not trying to make anyone upset.
“I probably will ask her to dance, because that’s a pretty innocent thing, but it means a lot to a woman like her. She’s used to being treated in a certain manner. Guys like me are far out of her league.” He takes a drag of his cigarette. “Midge likes how you treat her though. She likes you. Maybe I’m an asshole for pointing out something obvious like that to you, but I genuinely wasn’t sure if you knew.”
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When Lenny says he's out of Midge's league, Jaskier snorts and asks for another pint of beer, sensing that this conversation is going to need it. What is it with these two and all the denial? He could've understood if they thought the other didn't like them back - it'd be a classic case of one-sided pining. But they both seem aware that there's something there, and Jaskier hates how they make it more complicated than it actually is.
"So you're hiding from her, got it." He shakes his head, exasperated by the whole thing. "I assure you that we both know that we like each other. Am I an arsehole for pointing out she likes you too, then?"
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He won’t be bringing it up with her.
“There’s no doubt who she’ll be going home with tonight, or at least who she wants to go home with. You can either have a pleasant evening, or you can keep pushing her towards something she isn’t interested in exploring, but I guarantee that will ruin your night.”
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For two people who supposedly have no interest in exploring something, they sure aren't showing it. They're absolutely ridiculous.
"You're married. That's why she hasn't gone home with you, not because she doesn't want to." His new pint arrives, but he doesn't notice. His eyes are on Lenny, who is hitting too many sore spots. He's much better with words than Rose, that's for sure. "So drop the out of her league crap. It's not kind, it's condescending." He sighs and finally sees the beer, so he takes a very long sip. "This is why you wanted to talk to me? To ask me to stop?"
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He’s quiet for a moment so that he can choose his words carefully.
“Just because you want something doesn’t mean that it’s good for you or that you ought to have it. I’m no good for her, and that’s a fact.”
Midge shouldn’t have to put up with his heroin addiction. Or the women. Or how he can be violent when he’s high. She’s going places, and she doesn’t need him pulling her down into the gutter with him.
“You don’t have to take my advice. I’m an idiot anyway. I just wanted to give you my take on the situation and let you know that if you keep pushing her, you’ll push her away. But, I’m sure you’ll move on to someone else instead.” He can’t help getting a little dig in, since the guy had the nerve to call him condescending without knowing a damn thing about his life.
Lenny finishes his beer and puts out his cigarette in the ashtray on the bar. “Looking forward to hearing you sing tonight.” He means it too.
Conversation over, Lenny goes off to speak with some of the writers.
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Before he can stop himself, his hand closes around Lenny's wrist when he reaches for the ashtray.
"You're right. What you want isn't always what is good for you." He isn't being sarcastic; the agreement is sincere. "And I'm not what Midge needs - which I've already told her. Several times." He hisses the last part, barely containing his anger. He's fucking tired of people looking to put the blame on him when he's been clear about his intentions since the fucking beginning. What his heart feels is irrelevant. "If you truly want her to be happy, if you're truly against the idea of pushing - then don't push her toward me, either. Because right now? You're doing exactly what you're scolding me for."
Jaskier finally lets go of Lenny's wrist then, and doesn't believe him when he says he looks forward to his music. He doesn't answer, though; he just finishes his beer in one go, desperate to drown all the thoughts in his head.
Can you?
His limbs moving on automatic, Jaskier rushes backstage and through the back door so he can make it to the alley. The smell of the trash containers is awful, but he doesn't care now. He just kicks a can as he lets out a very loud fuck, the U elongated enough to scare away a cat.
He's in a bad mood now, but he doesn't want to leave. Usually, this is the kind of thing he'd chase away with a quick orgasm in a bathroom stall, yet sex is what put him on the spot in the first place. Talking to Geralt often worked, too, yet again - this is the one subject where the witcher will make it worse.
Molly finds him, then, innocently looking for her singer to start a jamming session, only for her face to drop when she sees the state Jaskier is in. Before she can ask anything, Jaskier quotes something she said to him in the past (Let's rock their socks off.) before following her inside.
Music is good. Music is orgasmic, too. Music can take over his body and make him forget, at least for a little while. He rushes to the stage and takes his guitar without a word, causing his band to gasp and run after him while teasing him for not doing a proper call.
Usually, Jaskier would say something sweet to the public, introduce the band and all, but now he directly throws himself into the music. They stick to covers so everyone can dance and Jaskier doesn't have to worry about revisions of his new material. He pours all his emotions into his singing and doesn't use a pick on the guitar, wanting to feel the vibrations of the strings right on his skin.
The good thing about covers is that people sing along. Jaskier basks in the attention and lets the cheers of the crowd make love to his ears so he can lose himself in creative bliss.
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She sure can pick em, can’t she?
Meanwhile, Midge has been working with Perdita and they have the beginning of a stand up set for her. It’s nice that other women are getting into comedy. There are too many unfunny men.
The dwarf leaves to help with managing the bar. A few minutes later, Jaskier storms on stage, looking irritated. Midge had seen him speaking with Lenny at the bar. What happened?
She gets lost in the music, grinning up at him on stage. After a few songs, Lenny comes to sit next to her. “He’s good,” he says.
“He is,” she replies. “Whatever you said to him pissed him off.”
Lenny is quiet for a moment, choosing his words. “Are you happy?”
Midge looks at him, searching his face for any sort of indication that this is a trick question. Finding none, she answers honestly. “Yes. I am.” Things aren’t ideal, but she’s happy.
“That’s all that matters.”