doesntsing | open post

He laughs pretty hard, delighted by her reaction. "You're right, that was terribly rude of me. I shall fuck you in my closet instead."

Oh, the question breaks his heart. He doesn't want her to feel weird about the subject - but at the same time, he can't deny it's good to see she knows what he needs. Communication and all that jazz. He'd hate it if she just said yes to everything he asked for just to get him.

"Yes, dear, you are. Once my classes are over, I'll pick you up more often." A pause to think about something while playing with the straps of her bra. "I've been wondering... mayhaps you could share what your children schedule? I don't need details and timetables. Only... which are your free days, to plan around them. Holidays too, I suppose."

Midge nods seriously. “I think there’s enough room in your closet for us to fuck in there.”

She breathes a small sigh of relief. Midge didn’t want him to think that she wasn’t going to honor the promise that she made when they first got together. “Sure,” she replies. “I can write it down or send it to you.” There’s a pause before she adds. “Maybe you’ll come for one of the holidays this year?” If he can stand being around her family. They may have to see how the wedding goes.

"Oh, absolutely. We can throw a whole orgy in there."

The heavy questions are arriving, and on one hand, it's a good thing that they discuss these things; on the other, it can be quite terrifying. Jaskier kisses her just to keep his mouth busy for a moment, giving his brain time to calm down.

"I like festivities. And I do want to spend them with you. Mayhaps not the spooky one, from what I heard, we'll be busy for that one." He means Halloween - Geralt will probably have lots to kill. "We can give one a try? As long as you don't expect me to pray. We shall see how your parents and brother react during the wedding."

Midge nods. Halloween around this place seems like fun, actually.

“Hanukkah may be a good choice, since your family won’t also be celebrating it. I don’t expect you to pray.”

She means it that she’s not going to force her religion onto him.

"Hannukkah it is, then." He tries his best to pronounce it, but it isn't perfect. Hopefully, he'll remember the name later to do some research. Now he thinks about it, he should probably read on all her holidays so he isn't caught unaware.

"How do you usually celebrate your birthday? Because I do want to kidnap you for that one."

She grins. Adorable. Hanukkah’s a good holiday to start with. It’s the most joyous and fun of all the Jewish holidays, most of which are about remembrance and atonement.

“In the past, I’ve gone out for dinner and drinks, but I’d loved to be kidnapped by you. Maybe you’ll take me off somewhere very romantic.”

"Dinner and drinks with just Joel and the kids? Or your parents? No celebration with friends at all?" Another reason that makes him think she had been stuck in that marriage, fuck. She deserves a fucking birthday party.

"Somewhere very romantic, huh?" He pretends to think about it for a second. "So Yennefer's closet instead of mine?"

“I’ve had parties before, but they’re a lot of work. I end up doing more cooking and cleaning than I do when it’s not my birthday.” Welcome to adulthood. “Going out with Joel and a few friends was just easier. I don’t celebrate my birthday much with my parents or kids.”

She grins again. “I’d be interested to see what she has in there, but Yennefer’s clothes are very dark. I prefer brighter colors.”

"Oh, that doesn't sound bad at all." Joel and friends. Alright, for once, Jaskier is relieved about something from her married life. "And since your divorce? Just dinner with friends?"

He seriously needs to meet her friends and gather intel, he realizes.

"I like you in brighter colors, too. Like the red of your cheeks." He kisses them to make his point. "I'm going to miss it when you get used to our sex lives."

“My first birthday after Joel and I separated, I went out with a few friends. It wasn’t like when we were in college. We all have kids now. Last year, I didn’t really do anything.” Too many responsibilities to deal with. She also had a gig.

Midge laughs softly and stretches her arms above her head. “You think I’ll ever really get used to your naughty suggestions?” She’s honestly not sure. Jaskier is very advanced in that area compared to her.

His expression instantly changes, a mix of sadness and pity. "Nobody should have 'nothing' for their birthdays. We're going to fix that this year."

Her question makes him take off his tie and cover her eyes - he isn't tying it, just holding it up as both a tease and a possible idea for the future. "Before we know it, you'll be the one making them."

“It wasn’t a big deal.” Midge shrugs. “I had a gig anyway.”

A smile crosses her face when he holds the tie up to her eyes. Cheeky. “I doubt I’ll ever shock you, but I admit that I’ve become more creative in bed since we started sleeping together.”

"A birthday on stage! That doesn't sound so bad." Honestly, it sounds great - he's performed on his birthday, too. But his performances are a little different from hers. "I hope Susie did her part, then."

He drops the tie around her neck and ties it in a bow that falls on her tits. The touch of blue on red makes for a great combo. "The idea itself may not be shocking, but you asking at all will always be a delightful surprise. Because you're correct, you've come a long way. I'm proud of you." He kisses her nose before watching her for a second. "Is... there anything you'd like to ask me about this? I promise I won't judge."

“Her part in what? She didn’t know it was my birthday.” If Jaskier was expecting Susie to throw her a party or something, he’s sorely misread Midge’s manager. “Birthdays must be a big deal where you come from.”

Midge props herself up on her side and plays with the end of his tie, brushing it on his chest. “About what? Sex?”

"What do you mean she didn't know? You didn't tell her?!" This is an absolute scandal, Jaskier can't believe his ears. "No, I just think it's fucking important to celebrate your loved ones! I can't believe you're sounding like Geralt."

His heart is held by the two people who don't believe in birthdays. What is his life?

"Yeah. In general, or about my experience. There's a whole world out there and people are always curious," he replies with a shrug. "Besides, it may give you some inspiration."

Midge puts her hand up. “There wasn’t really an opportune time,” she protests. “I stopped really caring about birthdays after I turned 21.” Not a whole lot to look forward to after that except getting old.

She wouldn’t protest doing something fun for her birthday, but it isn’t the end of the world if she doesn’t.

Midge thinks for a moment. “How did you realize that you liked both women and men?”

The most offended gasp - he dislikes the idea of birthdays not mattering in general, but also in this particular context, he's quite shocked. Midge likes being the center of attention, so he would've expected her to like her birthdays.

"That's when your life is STARTING!" The hand gesturing is crazy. "You make it sound like birthdays are for kids."

The question makes him chuckle. "That's an easy one, actually. You know when puberty finally hits you and your body feels funny? I noticed that I felt funny around both sexes. Of course, at first I thought it meant something else."

He snorts at his younger self.

"I didn't know what else, but my body was doing all sorts of funny things at that age, so whatever, right? I ignored it and only kissed cute little ladies. One night, my cousin came to a family gathering with her new fiancé. I couldn't keep my eyes off him; he was the prettiest man I'd ever seen. Later, when I sneaked to the garden to make out with a maid's daughter, I couldn't stop thinking about him. It made me freak out so much, I ran to my bedroom to hide. Before I knew it, I was touching myself while thinking of him. It was quite a wake-up call. The next few days, I kept asking my brain to put men in my fantasies. Or both girls and boys. It was incredibly easy, and so satisfying. Eventually, I was brave enough to kiss a stable boy, and the tent in my pants was the final answer."

She likes a party, it’s true, but they become harder to plan the older you get. “They are,” she replies. “Why would I want to celebrate getting older?”

His story about how he discovered his attraction to both sexes is interesting. “It was dangerous though, wasn’t it? To act on those thoughts? It can be dangerous here.”

Another offended gasp when she says that they're for kids. "It's about celebrating your life! Your mere existence! Another year being alive! Another year with loved ones and many more to come!"

Of course, when he gets old enough, he'll hate the idea too. But for now, he'll stick to these ideals.

He nods at her question. "I never fucked a man at home - I waited until I left for the university. Father found me kissing a stableboy anyway. It wasn't pretty." He sighs as his face falls, the memory sour. "My first time with a woman was sweet - clumsy as hell, just two teenagers trying their best. Not the greatest orgasm, but memorable for being the first. My first time with a bloke--" He runs his hand down his face. "Total disaster."

It seems as though she’s struck a nerve with the birthdays. “Clearly, we’re not doing adult birthday parties correctly here,” Midge says. “Parties for adults just never seem as fun as they did when I was a kid.”

Hearing Jaskier talk about his first time brings back memories of Midge’s own with Joel. “What happened, if you don’t mind me asking?”

That... is actually pretty fair, Jaskier has to admit. "I understand what you mean; I've seen it. That's people losing their whimsical side after a certain age, thinking that the minute you turn thirty, you must stay at home and have dinner with the kids. Being an adult doesn't mean you must succumb to boredom and mediocrity."

That's quite a question. Jaskier buries his nose in her hair, taking a moment to enjoy her perfume before answering. "I was desperate to learn more about this other side. The secrecy was killing me. So when an older student came to me, I was more than willing. We sneaked into an empty classroom and--" A pause. "Barely any kissing. He kept grinding against my thigh and pinching my arse. As soon as he saw I was a bit hard, he bent me over a desk and just-- put it in. No warning, no preparation. I had no idea how men were supposed to do it, so I was going with the flow. It was very painful; I wasn't exactly enjoying myself. He came first and then gave me a very lousy handjob out of obligation. He left after reminding me to keep the secret. Left me there with his cum dripping from my arse."

Jaskier brings Midge closer, hugging her too tightly while burying his face in her neck.

Jaskier has been very intent on keeping her from boredom and mediocrity. It’s one of the things she likes best about him.

His story breaks her heart though. “Asshole,” she murmurs. “I’m sorry, my love.” Midge has heard stories from women about having similar experiences. She strokes her fingers through his hair. “I suppose it got better with different partners?

You wanna hear about my first time with Joel?” Trying to cheer him up and lighten the mood.

Jaskier has heard those stories too, and he likes to think that understanding them has made him a better lover. A little sigh leaves his lips, this one of relief - he always feels better when Midge pets his head.

"Yeah, it got better. It took a while, though - at least with men, it did. But you probably know a bit about that - blokes that think performer and whore are the same thing." The offer makes him smile. "I'd love to. That was your first time overall, right? Did you at least masturbate before?"

She hums in her throat. “I’ve actually never slept with a man that I’ve met at a gig. It seems like a good policy to keep.”

Midge settles back against the pillow, her hand moving to Jaskier’s chest in order to stroke him there. “It was, yes. And yes, I had masturbated before. Kind of by accident, I guess that’s how most pre-teens learn about stuff like that. You discover that touching yourself there feels good, so you keep doing it. I knew how I liked to be touched.

“Of course, both of us were kind of nervous the first time we had sex. Joel almost couldn’t get the condom on. Then when he was inside me, he tried to go slowly but it felt too good so he kept speeding up. It didn’t hurt, really, but it was kind of disjoined. I told him to touch me and he just kept rubbing me, not really using any finesse. Then it was over. Nice, but not a mind blowing orgasm by any means.

I had to show him how to touch me.” Wink.

"You have much more restraint than I do." He won't sleep with those assholes he mentioned, but other fans are free real state.

Jaskier is relieved to hear she did masturbate, chuckling when she says it was by accident. Yeah, that sounds about right - good old teenage days.

He nods along to Midge's story, his hand back on her back to rub it. Her last comment makes him laugh pretty hard.

"And you were fucking right to do so! I'm so happy to hear you did that - so many women are taught not to say anything." He kisses the top of her head, always proud of her. "It doesn't sound so different from my first time with a girl, honestly. Sweet but nervous, clumsy. I refuse to believe anyone got a mind blowing orgasm from their first time. That's something from romance stories."

And he's used that trope on stories himself. It's just artistic licence.

"Did they treat you well in bed, then? Joel and Benjamin."

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gonna assume they've already exchanged their birthday dates

midge doesn’t have a canon birthday so we’ll make one up

same here. also I'm picturing Jaskier teaming up with Imogen to throw her a surprise party

so cute! Then take her to Paris.

lmao a total disaster without neither of them knowing French

they’d figure it out!

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