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[doesntsing]

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jaskier trying to teach Ethan to play the lute would be a disaster

[doesntsing]

Midge watches him climb down the fire escape, waiting to make sure that he ends up safely on the ground. She waves at him, then closes the window.

After flopping onto her bed, Midge sighs as she looks at the ceiling. Being friends with benefits with Jaskier is for the best. He’s not the type to settle down, and maybe marriage isn’t for her anyway. Her first marriage ended in disaster.

The ping of her communicator breaks her thoughts and she grabs it to look at the message.

Well, I can’t have you losing your cock, not after I’ve come to like it so much.

There’s a drug store on the corner where you can pick up some makeup and face cream. It’s not the same as B Altman but we can go back another day. For you, you’re going to want black eyeliner.

She also sends a list of brands she recommends.

imagine Joel's face tho

[treblemaking]

Thank you. You're a lifesaver. And cock saver as well.

For the rest few hours, he concentrates on finishing his shopping and finding the right subway to get home. It isn't until he's at home in a warm bath that he texts Midge again. He's really getting to like how these devices always get him someone to chat with.

Nothing like coming home to your best friend's judgmental stare because he can smell your sweaty activities.

he’d probably think it was hilarious

[doesntsing]

A few hours later, the rest of Midge’s family returns home and she has a miraculous recovery from her illness. Fortunately, her father doesn’t say anything in front of her mother. Sometimes he’s good at keeping a secret.

After dinner, Midge is helping Zelda bring the dishes into the kitchen when she gets Jaskier’s text. She excuses herself and scurries into her bedroom.

Why so judgmental? Is he not getting enough?

Also, that’s kind of unnerving that he can smell things like that.

Can he smell that Midge was the one that Jaskier was with?

[treblemaking]

Oh, trust me, he's getting plenty. He just has lots of opinions about my "hedonistic philosophy". To be fair, today he was probably annoyed because I didn't shower before coming home.

Jaskier sips some wine and almost chokes at the rest of the comment. He's forgotten what Geralt's abilities are like to new people.

I used to believe so too, but after two decades, I'm used to it. I'll admit I wasn't precisely happy the first time I realized he knew if I masturbated while we camped, but nowadays it's fun seeing him use it on others.

[doesntsing]

You don’t have any special abilities? Just your golden voice?

You can have a shower next time. I remembered that Ethel and Irving Goldberg left me a key to their apartment in Midtown in case I ever need a place to stay after a gig and it’s too late to come all the way home. They’re friends of my parents’ from temple and they travel a lot. They’re gone more than they’re here.

I’ll bet that was an awkward way to find out that he could smell sex.

[treblemaking]

I thought my cock was special!

Alas, no, I'm a mere human with youthful looks, a golden voice, and a great ability to rhyme. I'm guessing you're fully human too, correct?

Friends with double housing, huh? She really has money and friends on the same social status. Jaskier looks at the screen for a moment and hopes this won't bite him in the ass later. He's charmed ladies in courts and mansions, but only for one-night stands - not counting the Countess de Stael, and we know how that ended. Hanging out with Midge may mean being dragged into that circle again, just like he was a kid. He doesn't miss it.

That sounds absolutely perfect. It means I can bend you over the couch and the kitchen table without interruptions.

At that time, I was indeed mortified. Now, we've seen each other naked so many times, that day has become just another funny anecdote. Actually, I think it's funny, Cirila thinks it's gross.

She loved the dress, by the way. Thank you.

[doesntsing]

Midge can’t help the sort of family that she comes from, and she’d be remiss if she didn’t acknowledge that her family’s money is helping her with her career in indirect ways (having childcare, not having to bring in a paycheck, nearly unlimited wardrobe). But Midge is the type of woman who is as comfortable drinking champagne at a gala as she is having a beer in a dive bar. She might actually be more comfortable in the latter. Those people are more fun anyway. Jaskier will soon learn that she doesn’t run in upper class circles very often.

Your cock is special, though I’d argue that your fingers are even more special.

Me? I’m a goddess.

Let’s try not to break any of their furniture.

I’m glad she liked it. My ex-father-in-law owns a garment factory and he lets me buy from him at wholesale prices once in a while. I’ll pick up a few more things for her. I’m sure it’s hard for her coming to a whole different world as a teenager and having to navigate hell - I mean, high school.

[treblemaking]

I shall add "magic fingers" to my lecture curriculum then.

Oh, of course! How could I not tell! A goddess that requires oblation in the form of sexual gratification may be the only organized religion I get behind.

That's incredibly generous of you. Thank you. Cirilla has been doing well. She was lost at first, and she still has a few bad days, but you know - typical stuff for her age. All in all, she's quite happy here. We were in the middle of a war at home, and she's been through some... things. It's one more reason on the list for why we don't want to go back.

[doesntsing]

You worshipped me well today.

I’d like to hear more someday about what your home is like, if you feel like talking about it.

[ occ: I’ve been in the car traveling all day so thanks for tagging with me today! ]

glad you had a good time :)

[treblemaking]

A satisfied goddess equals a satisfied follower.

I'll share all the stories you want. Although I shall warn you, if you think women have it bad here, at home, it was much worse. From what I heard about your history here, it seems it was the same when you had castles and knights around.

[doesntsing]

That tracks. That’s the last time bards were popular.

Until now. It’s all the rage for young boys, I hear.

[treblemaking]

You shouldn't be making me laugh so hard while I'm in the tub. Unless you're willing to pay for a new device if I drop this one in the water.

Does Ethan have any interest in music? Or in arts at all?

[doesntsing]

Laughing at my jokes comes at your own risk.

Unfortunately, no. Ethan doesn’t have many interests period, except for Howdy Doody.

[treblemaking]

A cruel but fair goddess.

Maybe you should get him an instrument after all. Enrich his mind before he ends up with one of those sports ball thingies.

[doesntsing]

Maybe… I’d rather he play an instrument than play sports. Less likelihood of getting hurt.

Not to inflate your already massive ego, but you’re one of the most interesting people I’ve met in a while.

[treblemaking]

That takes him by surprise, but the shock is short-lived. He grins like an idiot before celebrating by drinking directly from the wine bottle.

Excuse you, my ego is nothing but healthy and boastful!

That said, allow me to return the compliment. It's not every day that I meet someone capable of matching me in wit. Being with another artist does make a difference, doesn't it?

[doesntsing]

She calls ‘em like she sees ‘em, Jaskier. There’s no denying his ego. And yet, he’s also undeniably charming and gracious. Midge wouldn’t have slept with him if he was an unbearable prick.

You do back up a lot of what your ego says.

I never knew it would, but it does. It… felt different with you.

[treblemaking]

Because I knew where everything was or because you felt the artist spark?

He's only half serious.

[doesntsing]

Both. I don’t know if I’ve ever considered myself “an artist” before, but being with you was… inspirational.

Seriously, I’ve never had a man quote poetry to me in bed, or sing a dirty song to me while we fucked.

[treblemaking]

Oh darling, didn't you hear yourself lying to your father? Haven't you seen your make-up and your clothes? You're a walking piece of art, and from what I gathered from your sense of humor so far, I'm sure your act will only confirm it.

You haven't been treated well, I'm afraid. The 'repressed wife' persona doesn't fit a wild soul like yours. We shall correct that as many times as possible. Your dressing-room mirror is already on the list, but anything else on your bucket list? I'm all ears.

[doesntsing]

Not sure what lying to Papa has to do with it, but I’ve always loved fashion and makeup. I’m glad you think I look nice.

The frustrated housewife persona is part of my act, though not all of it.

You want to know my desires?

[treblemaking]

I meant the story you managed to improvise on the spot - the "bard look" fashion. And you don't look nice, you look absolutely stunning.

Ah, but an act is an act! We may put part of ourselves in our art, but our presence on stage is still carefully curated. In private, I want you to follow your heart.

Yes. If it pleases you.

[doesntsing]

Oh, right. That was a bit of improv. Probably not my best either. Papa didn’t exactly buy it, but he didn’t want to press either. He’s mostly accepted that I’m going to live my own life from now on.

You’re right… though I never want to be seen as fake. I know people like that, who act one way on stage and completely differently off. I want my persona to still be me.

Well… not that you don’t already know this, but I really liked it today when you spoke such naughty things in my ear. I also liked it when you praised me…

That’s a little embarrassing. It’s easier to say over text rather than face to face.

[treblemaking]

He has? Color me surprised.

I wouldn't say "curated" means the same as "fake". One means choosing what to show, the other one is lying about it. I really like that you're so true to yourself, though. It's refreshing.

An eager ear for the mouth that won't stop talking - we truly make a great pair. That's easy enough for me to fulfil (and indeed, praise is absolutely delicious). Anything else? Or is that the biggest thing the "repressed housewife" could think of?

[doesntsing]

Trust me, it’s taken us years to get there.

Oh, I’m sure there are things I’ve never even thought of. I like the idea of you fucking me on every piece of furniture… what about in the shower or the bath?

I want you to take me from behind too.