doesntsing | open post

Midge’s attention turns to Jaskier as soon as he’s on the stage. He looks good in his ridiculous bard outfit; as out of fashion as it may be, he wears it with such confidence. Midge’s attraction to him is obvious. Even as she allows herself to feel desire while looking at him, she scolds herself for it. She shouldn’t be so easy for him. Besides, Geralt can probably smell her right now.

She politely turns down any women that ask her to dance. It’s flattering, but she’s not interested. Jaskier sounds great and Midge sits back to enjoy the show.

Having a bunch of people get horny when Jaskier performs is something Geralt has been dealing with for decades now, so he's learned to tune it out. Midge's smell is barely noticeable since, right now, there's a room full of desire, either for the bard or between couples.

Once the slow song is done, everyone claps and Jaskier bows to the crowd. But he isn't done yet. He grabs the mic and brings it close, speaking with his more seductive voice.

"Good evening, my rainbow walkers. Are we ready to have some fun?" The crowd cheers as he grabs his lute. "I think a few regulars may know this one~"

He jumps off the stage to join the crowd as he starts playing his tavern songs and funny ditties. More people join the dance floor, even without a partner. They're happy to stomp, clap, and do some of the moves Jaskier has taught them, going from arm to arm around the dance floor as if it truly was an old-timey tavern. Jaskier flows around them, never missing a beat as the end of a song becomes the beginning of another one in a seamless connection. He smiles and winks for everyone, not minding it when men get too close to brush their bodies against his.

When he has a clear view of his family's table, he grins at Midge and tilts his head, inviting her to join, too.

With the personal invitation from Jaskier, Midge gets up to join the group on the dance floor. Life’s too short not to be adventurous.

She gets the hang of the dances very quickly and is soon lost in the crowd, dancing with both men and women alike, though never partnered for long. It’s easy to get lost in the music, though her eye always searches for Jaskier. He’s in his element, performing his upbeat songs for the dancing crowd around him. Seeing him glow like this only makes him more attractive to her.

Jaskier jumps from song to song as he hops from dancing partner to dancing partner, even spending a few seconds to whirl around with Midge. He's genuinely happy to see her here, both because he likes having her around and because it may mean she's able to handle this.

After a few more songs, Jaskier returns to the stage to end his performance with another slow tune so the couples can enjoy themselves one more time. By the time he's done, the whole crowd claps for him with all their energy, and he bows a couple of times just to enjoy the attention. On his way out, he even blows a few kisses.

Minutes later, Jaskier approaches the table with open arms.

"Absolute success, and I'm kicking out anyone who dares to deny it."

Midge gives him another round of applause when he approaches the table. After Jaskier hugs his family, Midge goes in for a somewhat awkward hug. She’s still not sure what her role is here, or if she should be making herself scarce. Jaskier seems happy to see her though and she relaxes once his arms are around her.

“I could make jokes, but I won’t,” Midge tells him after she pulls back. “That was wonderful.”

Not to pump up his ego, but it’s true. Midge had a lot of fun watching him and it seems like the rest of the crowd did too.

"Thank you, my witty lady. I'm glad someone has good taste around here."

Both Geralt and Yennefer roll their eyes at that, so in revenge, Jaskier steals Yennefer's cup to drink her wine. She smacks his hand as he does so, but that doesn't stop him.

"Get me kicked out, this place is too loud," Geralt says in obvious sarcasm, but Jaskier kicks his leg anyway. He barely feels it. Geralt is supposed to be working on being a better friend after the mountain fiasco, though, so he adds- "You did well." Yennefer nods, and in both cases, those little things mean a lot in their grumpy ways of communicating.

Jaskier smiles more sincerely instead of his smug grin, and he's about to answer them when a gasp escapes his lips. He turns to Midge. "Speaking of jokes! Do you want to take over the stage? I can talk to the manager."

She enjoys watching the dynamic between the three of them. It’s clear that Geralt and Yennefer don’t just put up with him, but feel real affection for Jaskier. Midge would love to hear the story one day of how they all came together.

She’s a little surprised when Jaskier asks if she wants to get on stage. Her plan was to finish her drink and leave no later than Geralt and Yennefer do. With Jaskier’s concert over, they’re probably heading out soon and Jaskier will be on the prowl for whomever he’s going home with that night. Midge hesitates, eying the stage.

“Do you think they would let me?” Midge asks. And will Jaskier have the decency to at least wait until she leaves before cozying up to someone else?

"I could simply--" Yennefer's hand glows as she speaks, but she's interrupted by Geralt growling no.

"Let's leave that for Plan B," Jaskier decides, which earns him a glare from Geralt. He really hates it when they team up against him. "Be right back."

Jaskier rushes to the counter and bends over it, shaking his perky butt in the air while flirting with the manager. It only takes him a few minutes and a hand strategically placed on the manager's bicep to get what he wants.

He returns to the table with a fruity drink in his hand and a smug grin on his face. "The stage is yours, my lady," he announces as he sits next to Geralt. "Last door on left."

Midge isn’t sure what just happened, though she’s still staring at Yennefer’s previously glowing hand. Was she about to do some kind of magic?

When Jaskier tells her she can get on stage, she’s actually kind of nervous. Midge doesn’t really need time to prep. She’s done her jokes dozens of times and she’s good at improvising others. She’s just not sure how this crowd will react to her.

Any exposure is good exposure. She wills her feet to walk to the stage.

People in the club turn to look at her as she approaches the mic. Midge’s eyes dart to Jaskier, who is smiling at her. She takes a breath.

“Uh, hi. Good evening. I’m Mrs. Maisel. I hope you don’t mind that I’m up here saying a few things. My friend Jaskier has so graciously offered me the stage. Let’s give him another round of applause.”

The club roars its appreciation for the bard and Midge claps too.

“Yes, Jaskier is the only person I know whose tits are nicer than mine, though I think there might be disagreement about that amongst some of the women here tonight.”

[ OOC: I’m probably going to handwaive most of her set because I’m not good at writing stand up lol. ]

Jaskier blows a kiss at her when she mentions him, ignoring Geralt and Yennefer mockingly asking her friend?. He laughs pretty hard at her joke, both because it's good and because it rubs his ego. It even gets a smirk from certain two immortals.

The joke is well received by the crowd, too, of course, especially the women. They cheer and wolf-whistled - a female voice from the back even yells exactly what she wants to do to Midge's tits.

Well, what else was she supposed to refer to him as? She wasn’t going to call him her fuck buddy.

Geralt actually has the nicest tits, but there’s no way Midge is going to make jokes about him.

The laughter boosts her confidence as always and she hears the heckle from the back of the room.

“Ma’am, please, control yourself. Save it for Marlene Dietrich. I heard the Sewing Circle is looking for new members.”

Midge hits her stride then, moving into her usual jokes, though trying to tweak them for the crowd here. She absolutely commands the stage, as more and more of the club’s eyes turn to watch her.

After about ten minutes, she wraps it up. They’re not here to see a comedy act and she’s not being paid to do one.

“Anyway, thanks for letting me get up here. You’ve been a great audience. I’m Mrs. Maisel… goodnight!”

Her act is an absolute success and she gets lots of clapping from the crowd. Jaskier is happy to see another step in her career going forward but also hopes the community has found another ally. He leaves the table and orders a Martini, intending to take it to her as 'pay'...

However the door that goes backstage has been blocked by women, who immediately surround Midge when she comes out. Jaskier finds this incredibly amusing, so he leans back against the bar and watches Midge deal with it while biting his lower lip not to laugh too hard.

“Oh! God. Hi…” There are a lot of women dressed like Susie surrounding her right now, offering to buy her drinks. It’s very flattering, and Midge actually blushes a bit. She’s never received this kind of attention from other women.

Eventually, she’s able to politely extricate herself from the gaggle of women and make her way to where Jaskier is at the bar. She thanks him for the offered martini and takes a sip.

“So, I think that went well.” Or at least it did to a certain population of women who are sorry about Midge’s divorce and wonder if she’s interested in trying something different.

Edited 2025-08-03 00:36 (UTC)

By the time Midge is coming over, Jaskier can't hold it anymore and bursts out laughing. How is that for a new experience, he can't help but wonder.

"Well? It was fantastic. Congratulations." His expression softens. "And thank you. People here... they need the laugh."

“Thanks for helping me get on stage.” Midge was glad to do it, and glad that the crowd had enjoyed her jokes.

Rising to her toes, Midge kisses Jaskier on the cheek, but that’s as far as she goes with physical intimacy. She’s not sure what’s expected of her here, as she’s trying to respect the fact that Jaskier is looking for a man tonight. He probably doesn’t want Midge hanging all over him. Still, it feels so strange after last night.

“I’m glad I got to meet Yennefer,” she says. “I think she begrudgingly tolerates you.” Midge’s tone makes it sound like that’s a positive thing.

He wouldn't mind her getting affectionate at all - people here know he does things casually, and those who don't, well- they should learn it sooner rather than later. Still, he understands what she's doing and respects it. Appreciates it, even.

He snorts at he comment. "It's alright, you can say she hates my guts." He winks, clearly joking. "She's a bitch, I'm a bitch, it was bound to happen." He grins as his tone grows in teasing. "I'm glad you liked her. Here I thought you'd be jealous of her makeup."

It isn’t entirely selfless. Midge is holding back. If he doesn’t want to go home with her tonight, then she doesn’t want to cuddle up to him here. He doesn’t get to have her like that.

Midge shrugs. “Her makeup looks good. I like mine better. A bit more subtle.” She sips her martini. “She and Geralt seem well-suited.”

"You truly think so?" He's genuinely surprised by her comment, and he can't help but turn around to look at the couple at the table. They have come a long way and are in a good place now, but as someone who has seen all the steps in the middle and the judgment coming from third parties, Jaskier is still surprised by positive comments like this.

"To think I used to rant to Geralt about how she was ruining his life," he says with a chuckle. "Her people weren't happy either. A fine lady supposedly deserves better than a wild man." He pauses as he wonders if Midge's parents have commented on the flowers. "They sorted things out before we came here, but I admit I was worried war would tear the family apart. So I'm glad this place has given them stability." He tilts his head at Midge. "Not many people see that."

He's happily impressed - she has a good eye.

Midge follows his gaze back to the couple. She’s only seen them together for this short amount of time, but she thinks they work well together.

“They certainly look good,” Midge replies. A fine lady and a wild man. He could be describing the two of them, couldn’t he? “They balance each other out, his humility and her confidence. And it’s clear that neither of them are social butterflies.” Midge shrugs again. “It probably works for them. Imagine if one of them were wildly social and the other one wasn’t?”

Thank goodness she and Jaskier are both extroverts.

Humility? More like self-hate, but Jaskier isn't about to say that. The last part, though - he has to laugh pretty hard at that. Sweet, sweet irony.

"You're just describing twenty years of me dragging Geralt to places," he replies between chuckles. "Yennefer can be more social, but only if it's with people who can keep up with her. She appreciates good conversation, but she has 'no time for idiots'." He signs the quotation marks to indicate that's what Yen said. "I bet you could handle her."

Jaskier thinks Yennefer needs to get a bunch of female friends, but it's been hard to achieve that here.

“I probably could,” Midge replies casually. “She’s a little intimidating.”

More than a little, but as soon as Midge can stop feeling like she’s about to get turned into a frog at any second, they should be fine.

“It’s a strong personality. Most women aren’t like her.” Surely Jaskier has noticed that. She glances up at him. “Should I invite her for coffee or something?”

Midge can take the initiative if Jaskier thinks Yennefer won’t.

"Only a little?" His tone is amused. "Wow, she's been holding back, then."

Indeed, Yen's very different, and Jaskier likes that - he likes strong personalities. Of course, it took him years to appreciate it, but that's a different matter.

He beams when Midge considers befriending her. "You truly are interested? That would mean a lot." He glances at the table before looking back at Midge. "Let me chat her up during the week before I give you her number, does that work for you?"

“Sure,” Midge says. “I guess I could use some friends too.” It’s been difficult maintaining friendships after the divorce, since so many of her friendships involved being part of a couple. She still has Imogene. And Susie? “How fickle is she about using magic against people?”

Her eyes soften as they meet Jaskier’s. “You were really great tonight,” she tells him quietly. “The crowd here loves you.”

Another chuckle. "As long as you don't do anything that angers her, you'll be fine. Worry not, my lady - as a fellow woman who is trying to make it in a sea of pompous dicks, you've already earned sympathy in her eyes. She'll agree to all the things you say on stage."

He smiles softly in return. "Thank you. I admit it's my favorite place to perform. No need to hide anything here." He looks at the crowd, admiring all the people who have finally found the freedom to flirt. "I know there have been one or two comments about otherworlders, but they aren't common. This is a non-bigotry space." He nudges Midge playfully. "If you wish to perform here again, let me know and I'll get the manager's card for Susie. Most performers avoid it to 'protect their reputations'. We could do with the extra support."

Hopefully Yennefer isn’t hot tempered. This friendship might end before it gets off the ground.

“Ironically, Susie might be the one who doesn’t want me to perform here,” Midge says, sipping her drink. Her manager might see it exactly as that - putting Midge’s reputation at stake. Or she might think that it’s not high profile enough for her. “Do Hollywood types come in here?”

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lmao dying at the tits jokes. and of course!!! wasn't expecting you to write the whole set.

;D

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Yen would hate Imogene lmao

she absolutely would