doesntsing | open post

Do my eyes get particularly blue when I come? Did you happen to notice during any of the four times that I came for you yesterday?

It’s fun being able to flirt with a handsome man, especially one that can match her in wit.

The first time, my eyes were too busy on your lovely cunt. But the other three? Oh, what a gorgeous shade of blue they were, full of passion and pure bliss.

Is that going to make it into a song?

To quote certain comedian...

Quite bold of you to assume that I’m going to write songs about your orgasms.

Just returning the teasing.

Edited (typo) 2025-06-30 18:26 (UTC)

She laughs at that response.

Touché! But you did say you were going to write a song about my tits.

The response takes a few minutes to arrive.

They bring on their nipples
Beads of inaudible sighs,
Vowels of delicious clarity
For the little red schoolhouse of our mouths.

You really came up with that far too quickly.

I’m going to refer to your mouth as a little red schoolhouse from now on.

Says the woman who improvised a whole act while drunk.

I used to give lectures at my university and now I'm teaching you (more naughty) things, so it's fitting. Do I have to name your breasts as well?

You were a professor? Probably a more interesting one than my father, who teaches math.

I think I should be the one to name them, since I hope they’ll be with me for the rest of my life.

[ OOC: one of my “shitpost” songs for Midge is Coconuts by Kim Petras and now I want Midge to call her boobs Cartier and Tiffany. ]

Kind of? I spent my winters in Oxenfurt, so I would spend those few freezing months giving lectures. Guest staff, if you will. When my career took off they did offer me a permanent position, but I enjoyed traveling more. I had a vague idea of accepting the offer when my legs couldn't carry me anymore, however plans have changed. Since I'm here now and all.

I'm going to say this as affectionate as possible: every time I learn something about your father, he sound even more boring.

That makes sense. I saw books at the library that apparently list names for new parents? Should I get you one?

That’s where you’re from, right? Oxenfurt? I don’t blame you for wanting to see the world and perform while you’re still young. What did you lecture on? Poetry? Music?

He’s one of the most boring men alive, and I love him dearly.

That might inspire me, thank you. I need names that would be good for twins.

Is he originally from Oxenfurt? No. Is he going to correct her? No. He wasn't born there, but it became his home after he left Lettenhove.

Oxenfurt is home. The whole city lived off students, researchers, and scholars. So you could consider it the capital of art and progress. Indeed, poetry and music were my main subjects. I also tried to tell the youngsters what the real world is like, but the dean didn't always like that.

Do they have to be human names? Your tits would make great Carnadhiel and Tarathiel.

Hopefully one day Jaskier will be comfortable enough with her to tell her about his childhood and background.

Oddly enough, there’s a city like that in England called Oxford.

I had a professor like that.

Those sound like something out of Tolkien (you should read him too). What do those names mean?

Multiple people have informed me of that when I introduced myself. Apparently my accent sounds like that place as well.

Did you now? Did anything they said impact you? Were they well-liked by the students?

They're different shades of red. Carnadhiel means scarlet. Tarathiel doesn't have a direct translation; it's usually associated with dried blood.

Yes, it does. Geralt’s as well, and I’m presuming the rest of your family.

Oh yeah, we all loved him. English Lit, Professor Bernard. He challenged us to be free and independent thinkers.

As much as my favorite color is red, I’m not sure if I want to name my boob after something morbid like dried blood.

Yes, they do. I think it's been helping me and Cirilla blend in because we don't sound like otherworlders, but there isn't much we can do about Geralt's and Yennefer's eyes.

He sounds wonderful. I'm glad to hear you still think of him years later. It's powerful to leave an impact on someone's life.

Dried blood, like scars, can equal survival. A celebration of pushing through. But I understand.

Does Yennefer know who Elizabeth Taylor is? She’s an actress. People say her eyes are violet, but I think they’re really just a unique shade of blue. Yen’s are much more bold.

As for Geralt, not much he can do about that color, other than to argue that it’s a shade of hazel. A beautiful one.

And before you protest, yes, Jaskier, your eyes are beautiful too.

Anyway. Maybe someday you’ll get to go to England. The United States used to be an English colony.

You really like those names, don’t you? Is it because my favorite color is red?

I'll look the name up, but yeah, Yennefer's are truly violet, not just a trick of light. Heads up: don't shorten her name, only Geralt gets to do that.

I wasn't going to protest against a compliment I agree with. However, I will protest about your choice of shade. They're amber! Like a black cat.

I'd love to travel around this whole world, too. I want to get on those plane things. Flying must be such an amazing experience.

Oh, it wasn't about the names, they were just a random idea. It was about our perception of "morbid".

Thanks for the advice. Probably saved me from being turned into a frog.

First a wolf, now a black cat…

Flying is great. Just don’t get on a plane with Susie or you’ll never know peace. She’s terrified of flying.

I guess we could always dive more into our perceptions of morbid, Professor Jaskier…

There’s a long pause where the three dots appear on Jaskier’s device, indicating that Midge is typing. Finally, she continues.

But not right now, I guess. The kids are torturing each other. I’ll see you tonight?

I like the sound of Professor Jaskier. We may revisit that in the future.

Good luck with the Great Pants War. See you tonight.

Arguing with a bunch of old men is as frustrating as he expected it to be. Perhaps even more, because they're bigots even though they don't know what a witcher is. It's insane. The thought of performing tonight and seeing Midge is what keeps him moving through the day.

He gets the second spot at Elftown, and it's a success as usual. The local elves have quickly taken a liking to him thanks to the songs defending their people he'd written back in his world. Some experiences are universal, and that's very poetic, but at the same time, it's depressing that the experience happens to be a race war.

All in all, he's in a great mood, and he wants to share this high with his new friend. He decides to do a little extra spending to keep the night going, and instead of taking the subway, he pays a taxi driver to go a little faster than allowed. Which turns out to be almost as fun as Geralt's bike.

He makes it to the jazz club right as Midge is walking on the stage, thank goodness. As much as he'd love to see her up close, he's afraid he may distract her, so he sits at the back and asks for a glass of wine. On the chair next to his, he drops his leather satchel, his lute, and a bouquet of roses - mostly pink and red, but also one blue and one black in the center, courtesy of certain witch's magic.

The blue suit is on - it's supposed to be a date, after all, and she seemed to like it so much. He's put on a yellow tie and bought a yellow pocket square to match. Both have gold touches for that extra spark. His hands have a few rings as usual, and he's added a button closure chain to the suit jacket as the final touch. The eyeliner Midge recommended frames his eyes, which currently follow every move of hers.

Susie can tell that Midge is fidgety before her set, though she doesn’t know why. Midge doesn’t give her any hints. It’s been a busy day. After finally managing to get her kids to act civilized, she went out to complete her errands, which included a stop at the store where a lot of the girls from The Wolford get their costumes. A few purchases were made and then dropped off at the Goldbergs’ apartment along with other necessities for the evening and a bottle of wine. Planning complete, Midge went home, did the handoff of the kids to Joel, and then got ready for her gig.

She’s wearing the new magenta Dior dress that she got yesterday. Susie grumbled something about it not looking good with the lighting but Midge shushed her. She keeps looking out into the audience for Jaskier, though it’s dark and crowded. There’s a gnawing feeling in the pit of her stomach. What if he stands her up? Midge hopes that he’s the type of man who keeps his word, otherwise whatever this is between them will end before it really even starts.

When Midge takes the stage she puts all of that aside. She’s electric, as usual, trying out a few new jokes that go over well. About 5 minutes in, she finally notices Jaskier at a table in the back and grins. Then, she’s all professional for the rest of her 30 minute set.

After taking her bow, she meets Susie over by the bar. Nerves grip her again. She knows that Susie and Jaskier are about to meet for the first time. Maybe she should have told him to wait until Susie left before approaching her. Midge can see him walking towards her with a bouquet of flowers.

This could be an absolute disaster.

Jaskier sees that grin and winks. He isn't sure if she can see such a little gesture, but it's the thought that counts.

He's glad he's put on the blue suit, because she's left the black behind and is looking absolutely gorgeous in that dress. The "testing" they did at the mall in front of the mirror is becoming a reality, he realizes.

Midge is electric, feisty, honest, and absolutely hilarious. Jaskier laughs at every joke and is happy that "witty" has become his nickname for her, because she deserves it. Honestly, the act ends too soon - Jaskier is left wanting more.

He gives Midge five minutes with Susie before approaching her. Usually, he'd be understanding of post-show rituals, but they talked about sharing their mutual high, and he wants that for their date. (Besides, he wants to meet Susie.)

"Congratulations, my witty lady," he says as he gives her the flowers. "You were as hysterical as your reputation promised."

There’s color high in her cheeks and a grin on her face when Jaskier approaches. She tries to hide it for Susie’s sake, but it’s beyond her control.

“Thank you.” She takes the bouquet and lets her eyes rake over his outfit. He’s managed to take a modern suit and make it into something that suits his style without being outdated. He looks fantastic. “These are beautiful. Where did you find black and blue roses?”

Midge looks up and catches Susie’s eye. The other woman is silent, but the look on her face says it all: who the fuck is this?

“Jaskier, this is Susie Meyerson, my manager. Susie, Jaskier.” A beat. “We met in jail.”

Perfect.

Oh, look at those cheeks matching her dress. He has to use lots of self-control not to kiss them right there.

"Magic," he replies with a wink, wiggling his fingers.

Susie's look says it all, and if Jaskier had been younger, he'd find it intimidating. But after two decades of Geralt, Susie is nothing but a hissy cat. He still wants to make a good impression, though - mainly for Midge, but also because he needs contacts in the industry.

At the mention of jail, he can't help but shake his head as if scolding her, but it's clear he's just teasing, and he's amused by her comment.

"A pleasure," he replies with a bow. "Midge spoke highly of you - said you were the one to encourage her to pursue comedy. Allow me to express my gratitude, then, for sharing her with the world. You have a great eye."

Susie stares at him for a moment, taking all of him in. Midge doesn’t blame her. There’s a lot going on here. For Jaskier, that introduction was pretty subdued. He’s really reining it in.

“Seems like your eye’s on my client,” she replies. “She’s got a lot of gigs. I keep her pretty busy.”

“He’s a performer too,” Midge cuts in. “A musician.”

“Oh God,” Susie groans, then looks at Jaskier again. “Is that why you’re dressed like Liberace?”

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(credit: Charles Simic)

all these men writing naughty poems

it was hard to find something poetic and not just raunchy

Not surprising lol

Cartier and Tiffany lmaooo

i might just use it tbh

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lol my bad

nah, no worries, makes sense. Midge wouldn't know

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