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[doesntsing]

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[treblemaking]

I don't see why we can't do both. Variety makes life more interesting. And that would make for another fun shopping trip. Only you, however? Wouldn't you like seeing me in something sexy too?

[doesntsing]

You’re going to wear lingerie too?

I think you could tell that I enjoyed that suit on you today. There’s something so hot about having sex with your clothes on… removing just enough so that you can be inside the other person.

[treblemaking]

Only if it's something you may find appealing.

Agreed! It's why I was dying to get under your skirt - besides the obvious reason. Sex with clothes on speaks of urgency and passion. Does that mean I should wear the blue suit tomorrow night?

[doesntsing]

I’ve never thought about men in lingerie being appealing. Do they make sexy underwear for men?

I loved when you ate me out under my dress. Ultimately, I think I’m a simple woman, Jaskier. I like when a man is attentive and makes me orgasm hard.

If you wear that suit I may end up having to find us a private space backstage so that I can show you my appreciation for it.

You also mentioned that my mouth would look good around your cock. I intend to find out just how good quite soon.

[treblemaking]

Mayhaps? I've heard some rumors. But I tried on female lingerie and I can assure you, my lovely bottom looks spectacular in it.

What can he say? All those years walking next to Geralt have given him strong thighs and a perky butt. The next text has a bit of a delay because that last part is giving him quite a mental image.

You'll never lack attention with me, I can promise you that much. And I would love to see your private space backstage. For professional reasons, obviously.

Gods, Midge. You can't make me such promise while I'm naked in the tub imagining it.

[doesntsing]

Have you? Is that really surprising, Midge? Your ass looked great naked.

I guess I really am a repressed housewife. I just want mind blowing sex where a man worships me. Today pretty much fit the bill.

The problem is that there isn’t much private space at this club. It’s not like The Wolford where I have my own dressing room.

Is thinking about me down on my knees in front of you making your cock hard?

[treblemaking]

Yes. Your girls have a very interesting wardrobe. And thank you! Your ass was gorgeous too, although I think I have a preference for your delightful breasts.

Hey, don't put yourself down like that. You're young and newly divorced. Now it's time to get to know yourself again. Try new things, explore a little - in every aspect of your life. And if by the end, you still simply want mind-blowing sex and worship, that's alright as well.

I'm sure we can think of something to do with that suit tomorrow, worry not.

Stop. I'm supposed to join my family for dinner soon.

That's a yes.

[doesntsing]

Come to think of it, your ass might look cute in lace.

Thank you. My tits are always a big hit with men. Very few men have seen them completely naked though.

Except for that time at The Gaslight, if that counts.

I want you to help me explore… if you’re up for that.

Okay, fine, I’ll stop teasing you.

[treblemaking]

I look cute in everything.

I hope this question doesn't cross a line, but - how many men have had that honor? Besides me.

She says she won't tease him anymore, but the fact she wants him to teach her everything is erotic on its own.

It'd be a great honor to be your mentor in this journey. Just make sure to say nice things about my cock on stage.

[doesntsing]

Two.

She’s sure that’s an extremely low number to him.

Quite bold of you to assume that I’m going to talk about your cock onstage.

[treblemaking]

Oh. That's certainly... welp. Jaskier doesn't expect anyone to be as slutty as him, but he already had two as a teenager. They've been joking about the whole "repressed housewife" deal, but now he truly is wondering how much her family kept her as a good little lady. Thank goodness Abe didn't find him earlier, because Jaskier doesn't think he could've kept his mouth shut for long.

Don't tell me you made it to your wedding night untouched.

Because that's a terrifying thought.

If you don't make a story out of your father almost walking on us, I'll eat my hat.

[doesntsing]

I didn’t. Joel was my first time, but we didn’t wait until the wedding night.

Midge has always been sassy, but she’s mostly been a good girl. She knew she wanted to wait to have sex for the first time until she found the man she wanted to marry. Considering what Jaskier said about the place that he comes from, he shouldn’t be surprised that she hasn’t slept with many people. Women here seem only slightly more free to make their own sexual decisions than they are on the Continent.

Still doesn’t mean that I have to mention your cock as part of it.

[treblemaking]

So not surprises on the so-called happiest day of your life then, good. Sometimes I hear stories worth of a horror novel.

I don't know, I think it was a very important part of it. Some could even consider it the protagonist, if you will.

[doesntsing]

No. I wanted to make sure that he and I were sexually compatible before I committed to what I thought was going to be a lifetime with one person.

Did you hear how that sounded in your head before you typed it out, Jaskier?

[treblemaking]

That's actually very smart. I wish more people did that. Mayhaps you should write a book to liberate housewives.

You're right, I'm sorry. Clearly, the protagonist was your liking my chest hair.

[doesntsing]

What do you think I’m trying to do with my comedy?

It’s true. I did like your chest hair. I wasn’t expecting it, nor was I expecting all those muscles in your chest and stomach.

About your cock… do you know about circumcision?

[treblemaking]

Nothing says you can't do both.

So when you think about it, we like each other's tits. I'm afraid I don't know that word, but please, tell me more about my cock.

[doesntsing]

I’ll stick to stand up for now. I like performing.

I guess we do. I couldn’t keep my hands off of you.

It’s a practice where a baby boy’s foreskin is removed from his penis. Different cultures and religions here practice it, including Jews. It’s an ancient practice and it’s considered a rite of passage in the Jewish religion. It’s actually becoming more popular amongst non-Jews in the US because it’s considered more hygienic and can help prevent some venereal diseases.

All that to say, I had never seen an uncircumcised penis before I saw yours.

[treblemaking]

fuck

Alright, give him a second, he almost dropped the device in the water.

I actually know what you mean. Kind of. I didn't know the name, or the details. But I've met a few guys in Rainbow Road like that. It almost killed the night the first time I saw it, I was quite disturbed.

So you... did that to Ethan?

[doesntsing]

Yes. He was 8 days old and the mohel numbed the area before he did it.

[treblemaking]

I see.

Eight days old. Fuck. Jaskier drank directly from the bottle again, this time to drown the mental image. He takes a moment to relax before writing again, not wanting to send this conversation to hell with just one message. He promised respect after all - but man, this is truly testing him.

Well, then. I'm glad my cock became the sample of what a complete man looks like.

[doesntsing]

Tread lightly, Jaskier.

Circumcised men are not incomplete. Both of the previous dicks that I experienced worked just as well as yours.

We may need to agree to disagree on this.

Midge has no regrets about circumcising her child; if she had another boy, she’d circumcise him too. It’s prescribed for Jewish men in the Torah. It just is.

Jaskier isn’t Jewish though and she doesn’t care if he’s uncircumcised. It didn’t stop her from sleeping with him. Differing views on circumcision would be a dumb thing to end this friendship over.

[ OOC: imagine if Abe had physically caught them and seen Jaskier’s dick and instantly known he wasn’t Jewish. Yikes. ]

laughing so hard at the idea of Abe freaking out not because of the lover, but because of the dick

[treblemaking]

Well, so much for trying to keep things cool.

...I was trying to make a joke.

A pause. A sigh.

I should get my arse to dinner. See you tomorrow?

that’s exactly what would happen lololol

[doesntsing]

It didn’t land.

That’s the one problem with communicating like this. Tone and intention are lost sometimes.

Enjoy your dinner. I’ll see you tomorrow.

[treblemaking]

She agrees they'll see each other, yet the conversation ends far from well and it won't leave Jaskier's mind. Is it already oveR? It'd be a new record for him. He waits until the next day to write again.

Many a artist have pre-show rituals. Does that affect comedians too?