doesntsing | open post

Geralt shrugs. "We are here too." So they all have 'terrible music taste', really. Nobody can hold it against anyone, no matter how much Yennefer likes to keep the tough mask up. They all have a soft spot for the bard.

Midge's next comment makes Geralt feel a bit awkward - even after all these years, he still doesn't like how Jaskier presents him as some kind of big hero. His self-esteem doesn't allow him to see himself as much.

"He exaggerates a lot."

"I sure hope so," Yennefer says at the same time, showing her completely opposite reaction to compliments. She may not be Jaskier, but she thinks highly of herself, too. "He spoke highly of you as well. You must've caused quite an impression to stand out among his usual lovers like that."

Geralt sighs, knowing Jaskier will get mad at her for that comment later.

Midge grins when husband and wife give conflicting answers. Geralt’s humbleness is refreshing, though Midge likes Yennefer’s confidence.

The witch’s comment takes her aback. Midge doesn’t think it’s intended to be a backhanded compliment, the way that some women insult each other with kindness. And yet, she’s not sure how she feels about being referred to as one of Jaskier’s lovers. It’s what she is, of course, though saying it out loud is rather blunt. Is it a good thing that he’s spoken about her to his family?

She clears her throat, her cheeks a bit pink. “Yes… well. I was glad I could come tonight. It’s one of the few nights when I didn’t have a gig too.” It doesn’t really matter that they’re at Rainbow Road. Even if the gig was at Elftown, he still could have gone home with someone else. Would it have been better or worse for her if it were a woman?

Not wanting to dwell too much on whatever is going on between she and Jaskier, Midge changes the subject. “How are you finding Earth?”

As Midge's cheeks turn pink, Geralt's nose wiggles, and he smirks.

Yennefer sips her wine while watching Midge closely, studying her reactions. Her eyebrows raise at the change of subject, but she doesn't comment on it.

"It's been... interesting, to say the least," she replies as she puts her glass down. "Mostly, it's been relief. We're willing to overlook this realm's quirks if it gets us away from war." From Nilfgard.

"Too much fucking paperwork," Geralt adds with a frown.

Geralt, Midge likes you, even if you can apparently smell her embarrassment. His blunt assessment of too much paperwork is bang on.

“You could have landed in a worse country,” Midge says. “Immigrants have been coming to America for over two hundred years.”

Her martini arrives and Midge has a sip, gazing up at the stage. “Jaskier said you had a rough night last night.” He’d given her what basic details he knew over breakfast. They’d had to deal with a monster, which was why he had to deal with one of Yennefer’s clients.

"I doubt it could be worse than our homeworld," Yeneffer replies. Cirilla isn't wanted here, and that beats everything else. "But if our landing place had been different, that's what portals are for."

I hate portals, Geratl grumbles under his breath. And that sound becomes a growl when Midge asks about last night. He drinks more of his beer before answering, although alcohol doesn't affect him that much.

"People here keep complaining about the monsters invading through the portals, but they still want to touch them and take pictures. So many idiots getting hurt. It was a fucking mess."

That might be the most animated that Midge has ever seen Geralt get, which is pretty amusing to her.

“With some people, it’s very tempting to let natural selection run its course,” she replies. “Do you get called in by anyone in particular? Local governments?”

"Maybe I should let natural selection take care of them," he grumbles. Her question gets a shrug from him. "Whoever pays."

Yennefer shakes her head, a bit tired of Geralt not paying attention to that kind of thing. She's about to tell Midge that Jaskier will have better knowledge of their clients, but at that moment the lights go down and the announcer invites Jaskier the bard to the stage.

Jaskier's wearing his full bard outfit today, except for the hat. Long coat, brocade vest, big puffy sleeves under the jacket. He's also made his eyes very smoky with the makeup Midge recommended, which emphasizes his blues. People here like it when he's colorful and outlandish; in fact, they encourage it. Saying fuck it to what is expected of their sexes is what their community is about, and Jaskier loves to encourage it. Besides, it feels fucking good to go all out like this.

He leaves the lute against the stool by the microphone before sitting down... with a guitar. Learning new instruments has been an obsession since he arrived, and while he hasn't mastered them, the guitar is close enough to the lute for him to do at least one song.

With a soft smile, he winks at the audience before he starts playing Love Run, his smooth voice flowing into the mic and echoing in the club. Jaskier looks at every face in the audience, making them feel like he's talking directly to them. When he notices Midge, his eyes soften and his smile grows.

Soon, couples are on the dance floor, rocking close to each other while basking in the lyrics. Midge may even receive offers to dance from other women. Geralt leans back and Yennefer rests her head on his shoulder, both of them keeping their eyes on the bard with all the attention in the world. They may give him shit, but it's clear they still care for him and do like the sound of his voice.

Midge’s attention turns to Jaskier as soon as he’s on the stage. He looks good in his ridiculous bard outfit; as out of fashion as it may be, he wears it with such confidence. Midge’s attraction to him is obvious. Even as she allows herself to feel desire while looking at him, she scolds herself for it. She shouldn’t be so easy for him. Besides, Geralt can probably smell her right now.

She politely turns down any women that ask her to dance. It’s flattering, but she’s not interested. Jaskier sounds great and Midge sits back to enjoy the show.

Having a bunch of people get horny when Jaskier performs is something Geralt has been dealing with for decades now, so he's learned to tune it out. Midge's smell is barely noticeable since, right now, there's a room full of desire, either for the bard or between couples.

Once the slow song is done, everyone claps and Jaskier bows to the crowd. But he isn't done yet. He grabs the mic and brings it close, speaking with his more seductive voice.

"Good evening, my rainbow walkers. Are we ready to have some fun?" The crowd cheers as he grabs his lute. "I think a few regulars may know this one~"

He jumps off the stage to join the crowd as he starts playing his tavern songs and funny ditties. More people join the dance floor, even without a partner. They're happy to stomp, clap, and do some of the moves Jaskier has taught them, going from arm to arm around the dance floor as if it truly was an old-timey tavern. Jaskier flows around them, never missing a beat as the end of a song becomes the beginning of another one in a seamless connection. He smiles and winks for everyone, not minding it when men get too close to brush their bodies against his.

When he has a clear view of his family's table, he grins at Midge and tilts his head, inviting her to join, too.

With the personal invitation from Jaskier, Midge gets up to join the group on the dance floor. Life’s too short not to be adventurous.

She gets the hang of the dances very quickly and is soon lost in the crowd, dancing with both men and women alike, though never partnered for long. It’s easy to get lost in the music, though her eye always searches for Jaskier. He’s in his element, performing his upbeat songs for the dancing crowd around him. Seeing him glow like this only makes him more attractive to her.

Jaskier jumps from song to song as he hops from dancing partner to dancing partner, even spending a few seconds to whirl around with Midge. He's genuinely happy to see her here, both because he likes having her around and because it may mean she's able to handle this.

After a few more songs, Jaskier returns to the stage to end his performance with another slow tune so the couples can enjoy themselves one more time. By the time he's done, the whole crowd claps for him with all their energy, and he bows a couple of times just to enjoy the attention. On his way out, he even blows a few kisses.

Minutes later, Jaskier approaches the table with open arms.

"Absolute success, and I'm kicking out anyone who dares to deny it."

Midge gives him another round of applause when he approaches the table. After Jaskier hugs his family, Midge goes in for a somewhat awkward hug. She’s still not sure what her role is here, or if she should be making herself scarce. Jaskier seems happy to see her though and she relaxes once his arms are around her.

“I could make jokes, but I won’t,” Midge tells him after she pulls back. “That was wonderful.”

Not to pump up his ego, but it’s true. Midge had a lot of fun watching him and it seems like the rest of the crowd did too.

"Thank you, my witty lady. I'm glad someone has good taste around here."

Both Geralt and Yennefer roll their eyes at that, so in revenge, Jaskier steals Yennefer's cup to drink her wine. She smacks his hand as he does so, but that doesn't stop him.

"Get me kicked out, this place is too loud," Geralt says in obvious sarcasm, but Jaskier kicks his leg anyway. He barely feels it. Geralt is supposed to be working on being a better friend after the mountain fiasco, though, so he adds- "You did well." Yennefer nods, and in both cases, those little things mean a lot in their grumpy ways of communicating.

Jaskier smiles more sincerely instead of his smug grin, and he's about to answer them when a gasp escapes his lips. He turns to Midge. "Speaking of jokes! Do you want to take over the stage? I can talk to the manager."

She enjoys watching the dynamic between the three of them. It’s clear that Geralt and Yennefer don’t just put up with him, but feel real affection for Jaskier. Midge would love to hear the story one day of how they all came together.

She’s a little surprised when Jaskier asks if she wants to get on stage. Her plan was to finish her drink and leave no later than Geralt and Yennefer do. With Jaskier’s concert over, they’re probably heading out soon and Jaskier will be on the prowl for whomever he’s going home with that night. Midge hesitates, eying the stage.

“Do you think they would let me?” Midge asks. And will Jaskier have the decency to at least wait until she leaves before cozying up to someone else?

"I could simply--" Yennefer's hand glows as she speaks, but she's interrupted by Geralt growling no.

"Let's leave that for Plan B," Jaskier decides, which earns him a glare from Geralt. He really hates it when they team up against him. "Be right back."

Jaskier rushes to the counter and bends over it, shaking his perky butt in the air while flirting with the manager. It only takes him a few minutes and a hand strategically placed on the manager's bicep to get what he wants.

He returns to the table with a fruity drink in his hand and a smug grin on his face. "The stage is yours, my lady," he announces as he sits next to Geralt. "Last door on left."

Midge isn’t sure what just happened, though she’s still staring at Yennefer’s previously glowing hand. Was she about to do some kind of magic?

When Jaskier tells her she can get on stage, she’s actually kind of nervous. Midge doesn’t really need time to prep. She’s done her jokes dozens of times and she’s good at improvising others. She’s just not sure how this crowd will react to her.

Any exposure is good exposure. She wills her feet to walk to the stage.

People in the club turn to look at her as she approaches the mic. Midge’s eyes dart to Jaskier, who is smiling at her. She takes a breath.

“Uh, hi. Good evening. I’m Mrs. Maisel. I hope you don’t mind that I’m up here saying a few things. My friend Jaskier has so graciously offered me the stage. Let’s give him another round of applause.”

The club roars its appreciation for the bard and Midge claps too.

“Yes, Jaskier is the only person I know whose tits are nicer than mine, though I think there might be disagreement about that amongst some of the women here tonight.”

[ OOC: I’m probably going to handwaive most of her set because I’m not good at writing stand up lol. ]

Jaskier blows a kiss at her when she mentions him, ignoring Geralt and Yennefer mockingly asking her friend?. He laughs pretty hard at her joke, both because it's good and because it rubs his ego. It even gets a smirk from certain two immortals.

The joke is well received by the crowd, too, of course, especially the women. They cheer and wolf-whistled - a female voice from the back even yells exactly what she wants to do to Midge's tits.

Well, what else was she supposed to refer to him as? She wasn’t going to call him her fuck buddy.

Geralt actually has the nicest tits, but there’s no way Midge is going to make jokes about him.

The laughter boosts her confidence as always and she hears the heckle from the back of the room.

“Ma’am, please, control yourself. Save it for Marlene Dietrich. I heard the Sewing Circle is looking for new members.”

Midge hits her stride then, moving into her usual jokes, though trying to tweak them for the crowd here. She absolutely commands the stage, as more and more of the club’s eyes turn to watch her.

After about ten minutes, she wraps it up. They’re not here to see a comedy act and she’s not being paid to do one.

“Anyway, thanks for letting me get up here. You’ve been a great audience. I’m Mrs. Maisel… goodnight!”

Her act is an absolute success and she gets lots of clapping from the crowd. Jaskier is happy to see another step in her career going forward but also hopes the community has found another ally. He leaves the table and orders a Martini, intending to take it to her as 'pay'...

However the door that goes backstage has been blocked by women, who immediately surround Midge when she comes out. Jaskier finds this incredibly amusing, so he leans back against the bar and watches Midge deal with it while biting his lower lip not to laugh too hard.

“Oh! God. Hi…” There are a lot of women dressed like Susie surrounding her right now, offering to buy her drinks. It’s very flattering, and Midge actually blushes a bit. She’s never received this kind of attention from other women.

Eventually, she’s able to politely extricate herself from the gaggle of women and make her way to where Jaskier is at the bar. She thanks him for the offered martini and takes a sip.

“So, I think that went well.” Or at least it did to a certain population of women who are sorry about Midge’s divorce and wonder if she’s interested in trying something different.

Edited 2025-08-03 00:36 (UTC)

By the time Midge is coming over, Jaskier can't hold it anymore and bursts out laughing. How is that for a new experience, he can't help but wonder.

"Well? It was fantastic. Congratulations." His expression softens. "And thank you. People here... they need the laugh."

“Thanks for helping me get on stage.” Midge was glad to do it, and glad that the crowd had enjoyed her jokes.

Rising to her toes, Midge kisses Jaskier on the cheek, but that’s as far as she goes with physical intimacy. She’s not sure what’s expected of her here, as she’s trying to respect the fact that Jaskier is looking for a man tonight. He probably doesn’t want Midge hanging all over him. Still, it feels so strange after last night.

“I’m glad I got to meet Yennefer,” she says. “I think she begrudgingly tolerates you.” Midge’s tone makes it sound like that’s a positive thing.

He wouldn't mind her getting affectionate at all - people here know he does things casually, and those who don't, well- they should learn it sooner rather than later. Still, he understands what she's doing and respects it. Appreciates it, even.

He snorts at he comment. "It's alright, you can say she hates my guts." He winks, clearly joking. "She's a bitch, I'm a bitch, it was bound to happen." He grins as his tone grows in teasing. "I'm glad you liked her. Here I thought you'd be jealous of her makeup."

It isn’t entirely selfless. Midge is holding back. If he doesn’t want to go home with her tonight, then she doesn’t want to cuddle up to him here. He doesn’t get to have her like that.

Midge shrugs. “Her makeup looks good. I like mine better. A bit more subtle.” She sips her martini. “She and Geralt seem well-suited.”

"You truly think so?" He's genuinely surprised by her comment, and he can't help but turn around to look at the couple at the table. They have come a long way and are in a good place now, but as someone who has seen all the steps in the middle and the judgment coming from third parties, Jaskier is still surprised by positive comments like this.

"To think I used to rant to Geralt about how she was ruining his life," he says with a chuckle. "Her people weren't happy either. A fine lady supposedly deserves better than a wild man." He pauses as he wonders if Midge's parents have commented on the flowers. "They sorted things out before we came here, but I admit I was worried war would tear the family apart. So I'm glad this place has given them stability." He tilts his head at Midge. "Not many people see that."

He's happily impressed - she has a good eye.

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lmao dying at the tits jokes. and of course!!! wasn't expecting you to write the whole set.

;D

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