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[doesntsing]

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[doesntsing]

She didn’t either. Thankfully, Joel agreed and both of them have worked together to do what’s best for the kids.

Sometimes she feels like she’s not pulling her weight though.

“You say there’s nothing wrong with it, but I can hear your tone of voice. If a woman gets to choose what she wants to do with her life, then it’s okay if she chooses to be a wife and mother. That’s what most women are going to choose. You don’t think that’s a noble career because of the way you grew up.”

Midge isn’t trying to dig at him, but by his own account, his childhood was shitty. There’s a bias there.

His last sentence hits home and the tears start to fall down her cheeks. “I know I can’t. That’s why I feel like a terrible mother. And then you make me feel bad for wanting to be a good one.”

[treblemaking]

"Oh, for fuck's sake!" He throws his hands in the air, furious that Midge used his childhood against him, but mostly annoyed about the fact that-- "You still don't get it, do you?" (Don't get me.) "I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with marriage and kids just because I don't want them for myself!"

He stands up and starts pacing in front of her, hands moving like crazy. "Have you EVER heard me give Geralt and Yennefer crap for it? Of course fucking not, because they chose it. Most people don't, Midge. They do it out of fucking obligation. Or maybe they did choose it, but things change, and they stay in it out of obligation, too. And that's what I fucking hate! Not actual, real, true love!"

True love is a wonderful thing. Rare, but wonderful. And that's why his songs are full of it.

The pacing stops when she starts crying, and he curses again under his breath. He reaches for her only to take his hand back, unsure if he's welcome right now.

"I truly am sorry for making you feel that way. It was never my intention, I swear. I'm just... worried, I suppose." A sigh. "About what you want. About what you really want. About how you tell me you want to be big but also wouldn't mind a third child. About how much you really feel and how much is just the housewife still talking. Midge..." He looks down, his voice getting a bit smaller. "I don't want you to crash and burn. You deserve better than that."

[doesntsing]

“I’m not asking you for that!” Midge retorts. She knows it’s not what he wants, though if she’s really honest with herself, there’s still a tiny part of her that lives in hope that he might change his mind.

“I didn’t stay out of obligation, did I? But, all the same, relationships require sacrifice for each other. That’s part of love. That’s part of why if I ever remarried and my husband had no children of his own and wanted a child, I would give that to him.”

She doesn’t think that’s crazy. It’s also a moot point, considering that Jaskier neither wants to get married nor have children.

Midge pulls her handkerchief out of her purse and dabs at her eyes, trying not to ruin her makeup.

“I don’t want to crash and burn either, but Jaskier…” She looks up at him with wet eyes. “Do you know how hard it is when nearly everything and everyone is telling me that I should give up and go back to my kids? That I’m a horrible person for even trying to do this?”

[treblemaking]

"I didn't say you were!" Although he does wonder if she only doesn't ask because he said no, not because she doesn't want it. This conversation only convinces him more that deep down she still wants a husband. "I just want you to understand what I think is wrong here - it's not the marriage! It's--"

Then she adds the rest, and. Welp. Oh, look, another sigh. "I understand the sacrifice part. I have a song about it, remember? I stopped sleeping with other people for you. But there are limits, Midge. Wanting to be a good mother? I think that's wonderful, I really do. Have a third when you could start a tour any day now? I'm sorry, I think that's a terrible idea. Not because a woman wanting kids is wrong, but because of your very specific situation."

He finally sits next to her again and puts a hand on her knee - nothing sensual, just a friendly squeeze, leaving it up to her if she wants more from him now. Their raised voices did get a few looks, but thankfully, people just keep moving after just a glance.

"I know it's hard. You know I don't think you're horrible - what you're doing is amazing, and you have all my support. I only want you to understand how your life has changed, and how it'll continue to change. I'm terrified that you're setting up a routine thanks to your comfortable job at The Wolford, just like the good old housewife times, and what will happen to this setup when you get a tour. I think you could be a great mom, but a different kind of mom, if you understand what I mean."

[doesntsing]

Midge leans against him when he sits down. “Getting married and having kids is a moot point between us, Jaskier. There’s no sense in arguing about it.”

She looks out at the waves crashing onto shore. “I need your support,” she says, reaching for his hand. “You’re one of the only people who believes that I can and should do this.” Her gaze turns to him. “Is it okay to be a different kind of mom?”

Because she needs some reassurance when society is telling her that it’s not.

[treblemaking]

Is it a really moot point when he thinks that eventually she'll want a man who can give her that? He notices that she doesn't actually reply to his point; she tries to make him drop the subject instead. Funny that.

"The third kid is merely an example of the things you say that sometimes worry me." When she reaches for his hand, he sees it as a good sign and immediately wraps an arm around her, bringing her close to kiss the top of her head. "Of course, it's perfectly fine to be a different kind of mom. You know what would be actually wrong? Not being there for your kids at all. Dropping them at Joel's and never seeing them again." He rubs her back. "You have my support as long as you're doing these things because you really want them, and not because you still think you must."

A pause. Now that they've calmed down, he can reflect. "I probably had a knee-jerk reaction when you mentioned domestic goddess. I apologize. I'm just terrified that domestic life will take away your dreams." He's seen so many dreams die under society's pressure; it kills him every time. "I always joke about kidnapping you, but sometimes? I wish I really could. Just you, me, and some colorful van going from road to road across the country."

[doesntsing]

She’s accepted not getting married or having any more children because she loves him, and he’s made it clear that he doesn’t want that. It’s a sacrifice that she feels she can make in order to be with him. Jaskier makes her happy and he supports her chasing her dreams. Ironically, if he wanted her to stop being a comedian and to just be a wife and mother, the relationship wouldn’t work out.

Midge curls up at his side, grateful for his words of support. “I was half joking,” she says, “but the way you reacted… it just hit me.” She glances up at him. “That’s what I was getting at when I said the two of us could have been traveling minstrels in your world. A double act.”

[treblemaking]

Jaskier relaxes when she curls up at his side, and this time his sigh is one of relief. They've survived another argument, and it's pretty impressive, he must admit. He knows relationships take work and they aren't always a field of flowers, but considering his limited experience, he never knows what to expect from situations like this. Who knows which argument could be the last, and while he doesn't think they'll grow old together, he doesn't want it to be over so soon either.

"I probably missed the joke because I connected it to the other things you've said. Sorry again - although I admit I'm glad we had this conversation." Not the best execution, but those subjects needed to be addressed.

A little snort. "The idea of us as traveling minstrels is cute and fun, yes, but back in my world? I wouldn't have been able to keep you safe on the road. I barely kept myself safe - who the fuck knows how far I could've gone without a witcher as a bodyguard."

[doesntsing]

They’re going to have fights sometimes. Midge isn’t the type to just storm out though. She loves him and will fight to make this work, as long as he wants it to.

“It wasn’t a great joke,” Midge admits. Not all of them can be winners. “It’s okay. I love you.”

Since they’re putting cards on the table, Midge thinks it’s time to ask about his feelings towards himself. “You questioned why I always feel safe with you. I don’t think you give yourself enough credit, Jaskier. If someone tried to attack me, I don’t think you would let up on them until they stopped. That’s all a woman can ask for, that a man wouldn’t stop trying to protect her if the worst were to happen.”

She lays her head back down on his shoulder. “Plus, you’ve got to have picked up something from Geralt by now.”

[treblemaking]

"I love you, too, dear."

He kisses her softly and lets it linger, rubbing their noses with cute affection.

"I will always fight for you. That much I can promise." And in a verbal fight, he can protect her. In a physical fight, not so much - but if she only wants him to try, that he can do.

That last part, though? He snorts. "I learned how to wash blood off clothes, does that count?"

[doesntsing]

“A valuable skill,” Midge says with a nod. “I can’t always get it out.”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly. Fight over, hopefully. Maybe Jaskier can better understand some of the pressure that she’s been under. It’s easy to say that you don’t care what society thinks, but much harder to live it, especially for a woman.

“Are you hungry?”

[treblemaking]

"You send me a text next time you get your period, then," he teases.

After a quick kiss to her cheek, Jaskier stands up and stretches his arms above his head. His shirt raises a bit and shows his belly hair.

"I'm mainly thirsty, but yes, hungry as well." He offers his hand to Midge. "Time for lunch. Mayhaps not a grill? I don't think sitting near a fire is a great idea under the summer heat."

[doesntsing]

“Okay,” she says. If he wants to accept that challenge, bring it on.

Midge can’t help but reach up and touch that bare belly before allowing him to help her up.

“Oh, it’s a regular restaurant,” she says. “We won’t be near the grill. But there’s a sandwich shop also, if you’d rather have that.”

[treblemaking]

He can't help jumping a little when she touches his belly, but he grins and pokes her ribs in return.

"Oh, regular restaurant works, let's do that. We're on the coast; I want to see what fish and seafood they have. It must be fresh, right? I bet there's a fishing port somewhere around here."

[doesntsing]

“Hey!” she says playfully, trying to grab his finger.

“The hotel restaurant has a lot seafood on the menu. We can have that for dinner. I’m kind of in the mood for a hot dog right now.”

It must be the shore, making her think of Coney Island.

oooh pretty icons~

[treblemaking]

"A hot dog! That's not lunch, that's a snack!"

But he still puts his arm around her waist and takes her to an area with tables where a few food trucks have set up camp.

"You will run out of hot dog energy in the middle of a swim and I'll have to pull you out of the waves. I don't want to be responsible for what that will do to your hair."

thanks! I’m almost through 4x03

[doesntsing]

Midge scoffs playfully. “A hot dog is very filling,” she says. “If I’m still hungry I’ll eat another one.”

Midge leans her head on his shoulder as they walk. When they get close to the trucks, Midge peruses the menus.

“Oh, good. They serve Nathan’s.” She looks at Jaskier. “They’re technically not Kosher, but there’s no pork in them so they’re close enough.”

[treblemaking]

"A pork-less sausage. What has the world come to?" he teases.

There's a sandwich truck as well, so Jaskier gets a medium-sized one with smoked ham, warm goat cheese, honey mustard, pickles, and sliced apples. He's surprised to see they have beer, too, and then he remembers the waiters at the pool. Nothing like the trucks in the NY streets, it seems here they truly cater to the butts in vacation.

They get a table for four people just because they need the extra chairs to dump all their shopping bags. Jaskier takes a sip of his beer before even touching the food and sighs contentedly.

"Bless refrigerators. I can't believe I spent most of my life without cold ale. I want a small fridge that I can carry around in my bag."

[doesntsing]

“A sausage is different from a hot dog, though there are pork-less sausages too.”

Midge gets a fully loaded hot dog with fries and a bottle of Coca Cola. Just like his ale, her drink is also cold and refreshing.

“A wonderful invention,” she agrees. “I suppose you could carry a cooler around, but that would probably get annoying.” She takes a bite of her hot dog and then eyes his food. “That’s a fancy sandwich.”

[treblemaking]

"Are we going to have a philosophical discussion about what counts as a 'sausage'?"

Adding fries does make it a hefty meal, Jaskier admits.

"We'll just bring Geralt next time so he can carry the cooler," he says with a chuckle. "He's a great shopping bag carrier, too." He also takes a bite of his sandwich as Midge makes her comment, and he chuckles again.

"And pretty fucking good, too. Are you eyeing my food because you're already regretting your hot dog?" He's joking - his hands offer the sandwich to her in case she wants to take a bite.

[doesntsing]

“How does Geralt feel about being your personal manservant?” Midge asks teasingly. She’d love to see Jaskier try to make that a reality.

“Not at all.” The hot dog is delicious, but she’d like a taste of his sandwich too. Leaning over, she takes a bite, holding her hand up to her mouth as she chews.

“That’s good,” she says.

[treblemaking]

"Manservant is a little too much," he replies while shaking a finger. "But he's used to following us around while we go shopping," he adds with a shrug. "He likes to mockingly complain, but deep down, he's glad that people want him around. It's not like I actually have the strength to take him to places by force - that whole you dragged me here speech is crap and the whole family knows it."

While she bites his sandwich, he uses the chance to steal two fries and dips them in her hot dog toppings before eating them.

"I don't think I've ever asked - do you have a favorite food? I know martini is your drink."

[doesntsing]

“That’s true.” Midge nods. “No one drags him anywhere. Hey.” She scrunches her nose when he takes her fries. “Rude.” She’s teasing, of course.

She thinks for a moment before she answers his question. “You know what it really is, and I hardly ever seem to get to eat it? Pizza. Can you believe that?”

[treblemaking]

"Really?" He's so surprised by the answer that a pickle falls from his mouth. He quickly catches it and mumbles an apology before talking again. "I'm glad we ordered pizza during one of our first nights at the apartment, then. How come you don't have it often? I feel like I find a pizza place every three steps in New York."

[doesntsing]

“Nobody else in my family likes it!” Midge says incredulously, with a wave of her arm. “Except the kids. I take them for pizza when it’s just us, but one parent or another is usually along too. We get Chinese a lot, which I love too, but a really good pizza is just… comforting.”

Eating it with Jaskier at the apartment during one of their dates is such a nice memory for her.