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[doesntsing]

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[treblemaking]

"Are we going to have a philosophical discussion about what counts as a 'sausage'?"

Adding fries does make it a hefty meal, Jaskier admits.

"We'll just bring Geralt next time so he can carry the cooler," he says with a chuckle. "He's a great shopping bag carrier, too." He also takes a bite of his sandwich as Midge makes her comment, and he chuckles again.

"And pretty fucking good, too. Are you eyeing my food because you're already regretting your hot dog?" He's joking - his hands offer the sandwich to her in case she wants to take a bite.

[doesntsing]

“How does Geralt feel about being your personal manservant?” Midge asks teasingly. She’d love to see Jaskier try to make that a reality.

“Not at all.” The hot dog is delicious, but she’d like a taste of his sandwich too. Leaning over, she takes a bite, holding her hand up to her mouth as she chews.

“That’s good,” she says.

[treblemaking]

"Manservant is a little too much," he replies while shaking a finger. "But he's used to following us around while we go shopping," he adds with a shrug. "He likes to mockingly complain, but deep down, he's glad that people want him around. It's not like I actually have the strength to take him to places by force - that whole you dragged me here speech is crap and the whole family knows it."

While she bites his sandwich, he uses the chance to steal two fries and dips them in her hot dog toppings before eating them.

"I don't think I've ever asked - do you have a favorite food? I know martini is your drink."

[doesntsing]

“That’s true.” Midge nods. “No one drags him anywhere. Hey.” She scrunches her nose when he takes her fries. “Rude.” She’s teasing, of course.

She thinks for a moment before she answers his question. “You know what it really is, and I hardly ever seem to get to eat it? Pizza. Can you believe that?”

[treblemaking]

"Really?" He's so surprised by the answer that a pickle falls from his mouth. He quickly catches it and mumbles an apology before talking again. "I'm glad we ordered pizza during one of our first nights at the apartment, then. How come you don't have it often? I feel like I find a pizza place every three steps in New York."

[doesntsing]

“Nobody else in my family likes it!” Midge says incredulously, with a wave of her arm. “Except the kids. I take them for pizza when it’s just us, but one parent or another is usually along too. We get Chinese a lot, which I love too, but a really good pizza is just… comforting.”

Eating it with Jaskier at the apartment during one of their dates is such a nice memory for her.

[treblemaking]

Ah, of course. He should've guessed that her fancy parents don't spend their evenings ordering takeout. He doesn't say it aloud, he just chuckles - which transforms into a soft smile at the end.

"That does sound like sweet little family moments," he says another sip of his beer. "You should've said something sooner - we shall start going to pizza places more often when I pick you up at The Wolford, then." It's perfect quick food for their short late night dates.

A pause as he thinks about something. "Chinese is... country in the East, right? With all the rice and the sticks?" He makes a gesture mimicking chopsticks.

[doesntsing]

She grins at him. “I’d love that.” Midge looks forward to their date nights, and not just for the sex. She enjoys having time to spend with just him.

“Yes, you’re right.” Then she remembers something that she hasn’t told Jaskier yet and her eyes widen in excitement. “Oh! That reminds me. Wait until you hear this. Joel is dating someone. She’s a Chinese woman. His parents are going to flip when they find out.”

[treblemaking]

"Good for him," he sincerely says. Hopefully, that will keep him off Midge's back. And her excitement is cute.

"Flip out about wh--" He slowly lowers his sandwich as the answer hits him. "Because she isn't Jewish." He sighs, unsure if he should comment on that, considering what they'll encounter tomorrow because of himself.

[doesntsing]

Midge hums around a bite of hot dog. “She’s not white either.” At least Jaskier has that going for him? “But, more-so, she isn’t Jewish. Honestly, it seems like she doesn’t take his shit and that is good for him.”

Seeing his reaction, she puts her hand over one of his. “I love you. No matter what.”

[treblemaking]

"Fuck's sake..." he mumbles when Midge mentions Mei's race, and takes a long sip of his beer. In his world, the racism was against other species - elves, dwarves, witchers. Humans don't have that here, and yet they've found something to be racist about anyway. It's so fucking stupid. "Well, you don't take his shit either, so I see he has a type."

He squeezes her hand and offers a small smile. "I love you, too, dear. I just want this weekend to go well." And it's hard to promise a lack of arguments.

[doesntsing]

Midge agrees. It’s stupid. Goes to show that one group will always try to think they’re superior to another.

“I know. I do too.” She doesn’t relish the idea of arguing with her family either. “You’re one of the best things to happen to me in a long time, and I don’t want to hide that.”

[treblemaking]

He kisses her hand before returning to his sandwich.

"You can tell them as much or as little as you want, I don't care." Well, except for his sexuality, but she should already know not to bring that up. "I just want you to have a good time. And not to wear that little hat."

[doesntsing]

She would never bring his sexuality up. She knows that nobody would really understand that.

Midge quirks a smile. “The yarmulke? I think you’re exempt because you’re not Jewish. You just don’t want to mess up your beautiful hair.”

[treblemaking]

That makes him laugh. "Hey, I just bought a hat! You of all people have no right to do any hat-related judgment here!" He points at her with his beer bottle before taking another sip. "I don't even know how the yamuke thingy stays put!"

[doesntsing]

“I wear hats and my hair still looks wonderful,” Midge says. It’s probably currently a bit windswept under her sun hat, but, details. “Bobby pins, usually. Or sometimes you can balance it just right.”

[treblemaking]

"Seriously? I don't want to deal with pins to wear any hat." Another point for women and the things that they have to deal with to look good.

He finishes his sandwich and his beer - if Midge leaves any fries, he'll finish those too.

"Ready to go back to our room to get beach ready or is there something else around here you wanted to show me?"

[doesntsing]

He can finish her fries. “Nope,” she says. “Let’s go.”

They gather their shopping bags and start to walk back down the boardwalk towards the hotel.

“Want to wear our matching suits today?”

[treblemaking]

It is nice to just hold hands and bask in each other's company. The smell of the sea and the gentle breeze really put Jaskier in a good mood.

"Oh yes, that's a great idea! We can make sure they fit well even after getting in the water. I wouldn't want to end up with a bulge in front of your parents."

[doesntsing]

Midge smiles. “Can you handle seeing me in a bikini?” she teases. “All that skin… wet from the ocean.” A thought strikes her: “Did you have mermaids where you come from?”

[treblemaking]

"I haven't forgotten about our first talk about the beach, dear." He buries his nose in her ear. "I will find a private spot on the beach to fuck you."

They may need to come back after dinner when it's dark enough. But it is happening.

"Of course! That's what my song A Little Sacrifice is about. Not to be confused with sirens, who are fucking ugly and crazy."

[doesntsing]

Even after all this time, Midge still gasps at his words. No man has ever said such forward things to her - and she absolutely loves it.

“Right!” She replies, remembering that. “I could be your pretty mermaid sunning on the shore.”

I'm laughing too because mermanJaskier is an incredibly popular AU

[treblemaking]

He loves how she always reacts like this - he's proud of her for exploring things, learning a lot, and sharing her own fantasies, but Jaskier must admit he'll miss the innocent woman a bit. She's so much fun to tease.

Jaskier blinks in surprise at Midge for a few seconds before he starts laughing pretty hard. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, but-- what do people here think mermaids look like?"

he’d be a sassy merman

[doesntsing]

Being an innocent housewife corrupted by him is still one of her favorite fantasies to play out.

Midge wonders why he’s laughing. “Beautiful women with fish tails instead of legs. Topless, or with a shell bra. Why? What do they look like where you come from?”

[treblemaking]

"Waitwaitwait-- you mean like- a regular human body from the waist up?" That makes him laugh again. Sorry, Midge. "This is going to kill Geralt. Wait, wait, give me a moment--"

He suddenly drops his bags on the ground and takes out his phone to text Geralt. Now that he's been taking typing classes, he's become a much faster texter. The laughing appears to calm down, only to start again when he describes the whole thing to his friend.

"I'm definitely looking this up when we return," he tells Midge while picking up his shopping bags and reaching for her hand so they can walk again. "Mermaids have blue or green skin and hair, gills, long ears, black eyeballs, and some kind of crevice on their chests. Female mermaids don't have tits - they lay eggs." He tilts his head at Midge, observing her body for a second. "You would look cute in a shell bra."