“I’m saying…” Midge can’t stop giggling as she tries to squirm away from him. “Stop!” She’s having trouble forming sentences with him tickling her like this.
If he wanted to have sex with her every day, he’d have to live with her, and Midge figures that hell will freeze over before that happens.
"Ouch," he says, but he doesn't mean it. It's all dramatics.
Her comment makes him laugh. "I have done it, I swear. Life on the road is fun but it can also get rough. And being The Sandpiper often exhausted me. More than a day, however... that is indeed harder."
"I am always craving touch," he replies without hesitation. His eyes closed and he sighs, just enjoying her hand in his face. "It can be a hug. Cuddling. A ruffle of my hair. Writing while leaning against someone. Have I mention that Geralt is a wonderful heater?"
Jaskier hums in a rhythm that follows her stroking, almost starting a tune. Before he can push it more in that direction, he has to stop humming to answer her question.
He blinks. "I've never thought about it. I just... like people." A pause as he thinks about it a little more. "I hate being alone."
Midge nods at that sentiment. “I don’t like being alone either,” she says, “though sometimes you can be surrounded by people and still feel pretty lonely.”
It happens when it seems like people don’t understand her.
He nods as well and brings up their joined hands to kiss her knuckles. "Especially in crowds that just happen to be there because they like the ale, and your voice is nothing but background noise. If they're listening at all."
Midge groans at that mental image, only because she’s seen it a hundred times.
“I’ve heckled people from the stage and they’ve had no idea that I’m even talking about them.” She’s kind of hard to ignore, but it’s happened. “The only thing I don’t like about performing at The Wolford is that I know nobody’s there to see me. They’re just waiting for me to get off stage so that they can see some tits. Naked ones.”
That groan says it all. Jaskier continues to nod along and brings her close to cuddle her again when she expresses her frustration.
"Their little brains don't have the power to manage their ego and the world at the same time. So they stick to their egos." He tilts his head at her. "Why do you stick to The Wolford then?"
She’s quiet for a moment as the real answer comes to her and she debates if she ought to voice it. If there’s anyone whom she could say it to, anyone who would understand, it’s Jaskier.
“It’s safe.” Her voice is quiet. “Did I tell you about Shy Baldwin and how I got kicked off his tour?”
That silence is a bit worrisome, Jaskier thinks. Pausing to think isn't bad per se, but he didn't think his question was that kind. He wonders what he's poked, and it seems he's about to find out.
"You have not, no. Shy Baldwin..." Thinking for a second. "He's a singer, right?"
“Yes,” she confirms. “Before you and I met, I was touring with him as his opening act. We spent some time in Vegas and in Florida. It was… good. He and I got along really well and got to hang out a few times, which is how I found out something about him.”
Midge’s eyes meet Jaskier’s. “He’s… gay. But he’s not like how you are, open with your attraction to men. I found him once after another man had beaten him up.”
As an opening act, but still. Jaskier is jealous right now; he's itching to get back on the road. How come her career is still stuck then? Obviously, this isn't a happy story, and he wonders if he'll regret asking.
Her comment makes him sigh. "I'm not open, Midge. I told you because Brandon told you first." And she kinda cornered him with the question.
He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking about the one time he saw Shy on TV. Not even fame can save his people from this, goddammit. It's frustrating and depressing, and he just wants to scream. "I saw him on TV, so I'm guessing he's fine - well, as fine as he can be hiding it. He didn't get caught, I take it?"
“It was amazing.” Even as an opening act for someone. She got her name and face and jokes out there in front of a lot of people. “I did miss my kids a bit though.” It was hard, being away from them while she tried to build her dream.
“Oh,” she replies. “I meant… you perform at Rainbow Road… he would never do that.” Only a handful of people even knew Shy was gay. By comparison, Jaskier is practically screaming about it.
“No,” Midge continues. “He has a manager who is as protective of him as Susie is of me. Anyway, before he started his international tour, he did a show at the Apollo. It was kind of a homecoming show for him. There were a lot of people there who knew him.” She takes a deep breath. “I made some jokes that alluded to him being gay. Mannerisms, I guess. I shouldn’t have done it, and I regret it, even though the crowd absolutely loved it.”
Midge is quiet for a moment and she wonders if Jaskier thinks less of her now. “His manager did not like it. He thought I was going to potentially expose him, accidentally or not. I wouldn’t have done that, but he thought I was a liability to his image. They told Susie and I that we were off the tour and left us on the tarmac, in Newark of all places.”
She missed her kids, but she went. Jaskier is proud of her, and it's a good sign for her career in the future. He decides not to comment on it, though, because she already has enough insecurities as a mother - that's a talk for another day.
"Oh," he replies with understanding when Midge comments on Rainbow Road. Yeah, Jaskier hides it in public, but queer spaces are supposed to be safe. Shy is so closeted that he doesn't even get that? Fuck. "Yeah, that's a fair difference to point out."
Jaskier is starting to get worried about this bloke. He's also fearing where this story is going.
That fear still doesn't prepare him for the final bomb.
"You WHAT?!" His voice reaches a very high pitch, horror and distress wrapped in a ball of disbelief. Jaskier sits up, face white and hands flying in every direction, his mind a hurricane of emotions that can only be summarized with an inner scream. "What the fuck, Miriam, you saw him beaten up! How--"
His eyes widen and his hands fall on his lap when he remembers that she's been making jokes about the guy she's been sleeping with - aka him. "...what have you said about me?" he asks with a small, vulnerable voice.
Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was the one thing that she was worried about telling him, but she knew that it would have to come out at some point. Midge hadn’t really planned on it being now, but… here they are.
She sits up in bed so that she can look Jaskier in the eyes. “I haven’t said anything about you regarding men,” Midge replies. “I haven’t even said your name on stage. Very few people even know about us and I would never joke about you like that. I would never intentionally hurt you.”
Midge sighs. “It’s not an excuse, but I was the only white performer on the program that night and I… I panicked. I just wanted the laughs, and I got them, but it shouldn’t have been at his expense. I didn’t mean to hurt him either. I apologized to him… at his wedding.”
A very hasty wedding to some poor, unsuspecting girl.
"But you didn't say anything about Shy and men either, did you? Only about his 'mannerisms'." Which Jaskier has lots of. "...wedding?" His eyes widen again when he realizes what it means. "Damage control. Fuck. Fffffuuuck."
He needs movement, he needs space to breathe. Jaskier leaves the bed to wander around the room, rubbing his face while trying not to let this get the best of him. If it wasn't so serious, it would be kinda funny because he's cursing in multiple languages while naked.
He's taken her to Rainbow Road. He's taken her to Rainbow Road. Fuckfuckfuck.
Jaskier finally stops moving to look at her with a very scared face. It's raw and vulnerable. "I take it nobody outside Shy's circle knows why you were fired?"
The wedding was clearly damage control, but nobody at Rainbow Road got mad at him for letting Midge perform. So maybe things are still safe, at the very least.
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If he wanted to have sex with her every day, he’d have to live with her, and Midge figures that hell will freeze over before that happens.
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"I win! Victory for the humble bard." Who is not being so humble right now. (Or ever.)
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“What I was trying to say was that I bet you couldn’t go a whole day without sex or without jacking off.”
No sex he might be able to handle, but not touching himself either? He’d cave eventually.
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Her comment makes him laugh. "I have done it, I swear. Life on the road is fun but it can also get rough. And being The Sandpiper often exhausted me. More than a day, however... that is indeed harder."
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“You were helping people as The Sandpiper,” she says. “After a day or two do you start to crave the touch of someone else?”
Midge likes sex, but she’s not as needful of it as Jaskier is.
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Now she’s imagining Jaskier cuddling with Geralt and isn’t quite sure if she can see it. Geralt doesn’t strike her as much of a cuddler.
“Why do you think you crave touch so much?” she asks.
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He blinks. "I've never thought about it. I just... like people." A pause as he thinks about it a little more. "I hate being alone."
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It happens when it seems like people don’t understand her.
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“I’ve heckled people from the stage and they’ve had no idea that I’m even talking about them.” She’s kind of hard to ignore, but it’s happened. “The only thing I don’t like about performing at The Wolford is that I know nobody’s there to see me. They’re just waiting for me to get off stage so that they can see some tits. Naked ones.”
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"Their little brains don't have the power to manage their ego and the world at the same time. So they stick to their egos." He tilts his head at her. "Why do you stick to The Wolford then?"
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“It’s safe.” Her voice is quiet. “Did I tell you about Shy Baldwin and how I got kicked off his tour?”
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"You have not, no. Shy Baldwin..." Thinking for a second. "He's a singer, right?"
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Midge’s eyes meet Jaskier’s. “He’s… gay. But he’s not like how you are, open with your attraction to men. I found him once after another man had beaten him up.”
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As an opening act, but still. Jaskier is jealous right now; he's itching to get back on the road. How come her career is still stuck then? Obviously, this isn't a happy story, and he wonders if he'll regret asking.
Her comment makes him sigh. "I'm not open, Midge. I told you because Brandon told you first." And she kinda cornered him with the question.
He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking about the one time he saw Shy on TV. Not even fame can save his people from this, goddammit. It's frustrating and depressing, and he just wants to scream. "I saw him on TV, so I'm guessing he's fine - well, as fine as he can be hiding it. He didn't get caught, I take it?"
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“Oh,” she replies. “I meant… you perform at Rainbow Road… he would never do that.” Only a handful of people even knew Shy was gay. By comparison, Jaskier is practically screaming about it.
“No,” Midge continues. “He has a manager who is as protective of him as Susie is of me. Anyway, before he started his international tour, he did a show at the Apollo. It was kind of a homecoming show for him. There were a lot of people there who knew him.” She takes a deep breath. “I made some jokes that alluded to him being gay. Mannerisms, I guess. I shouldn’t have done it, and I regret it, even though the crowd absolutely loved it.”
Midge is quiet for a moment and she wonders if Jaskier thinks less of her now. “His manager did not like it. He thought I was going to potentially expose him, accidentally or not. I wouldn’t have done that, but he thought I was a liability to his image. They told Susie and I that we were off the tour and left us on the tarmac, in Newark of all places.”
A fate worse than death.
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"Oh," he replies with understanding when Midge comments on Rainbow Road. Yeah, Jaskier hides it in public, but queer spaces are supposed to be safe. Shy is so closeted that he doesn't even get that? Fuck. "Yeah, that's a fair difference to point out."
Jaskier is starting to get worried about this bloke. He's also fearing where this story is going.
That fear still doesn't prepare him for the final bomb.
"You WHAT?!" His voice reaches a very high pitch, horror and distress wrapped in a ball of disbelief. Jaskier sits up, face white and hands flying in every direction, his mind a hurricane of emotions that can only be summarized with an inner scream. "What the fuck, Miriam, you saw him beaten up! How--"
His eyes widen and his hands fall on his lap when he remembers that she's been making jokes about the guy she's been sleeping with - aka him. "...what have you said about me?" he asks with a small, vulnerable voice.
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She sits up in bed so that she can look Jaskier in the eyes. “I haven’t said anything about you regarding men,” Midge replies. “I haven’t even said your name on stage. Very few people even know about us and I would never joke about you like that. I would never intentionally hurt you.”
Midge sighs. “It’s not an excuse, but I was the only white performer on the program that night and I… I panicked. I just wanted the laughs, and I got them, but it shouldn’t have been at his expense. I didn’t mean to hurt him either. I apologized to him… at his wedding.”
A very hasty wedding to some poor, unsuspecting girl.
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He needs movement, he needs space to breathe. Jaskier leaves the bed to wander around the room, rubbing his face while trying not to let this get the best of him. If it wasn't so serious, it would be kinda funny because he's cursing in multiple languages while naked.
He's taken her to Rainbow Road. He's taken her to Rainbow Road. Fuckfuckfuck.
Jaskier finally stops moving to look at her with a very scared face. It's raw and vulnerable. "I take it nobody outside Shy's circle knows why you were fired?"
The wedding was clearly damage control, but nobody at Rainbow Road got mad at him for letting Midge perform. So maybe things are still safe, at the very least.