"Remember the djinn? After she cured me, she wanted to capture it. Her dress was open at the front and she had painted some symbol thingy on her stomach for the ritual." He shrugs. "I was teasing anyway - tits first or not, it doesn't make that much of a difference in the end. The three of us have walked in on each other so many times through the years, we all know what our sex faces are."
He's pretty sure Yennefer wanted him to find her having sex with Geralt just to rub it on his face, but he never dared to ask.
Midge snorts a little laugh. “I just want you to know that you’ve lived a more interesting and exciting life than about 90% of the people I know.”
Everyone else deals with kids and work and taxes. Jaskier deals with djinns and rituals.
“Maybe my next set of jokes about my boyfriend will be about how absolutely outrageous things are mundane to you.” Midge does an impersonation of Jaskier’s voice. “Well, today Geralt and I went into the sewers to fight a gobbledegook and got absolutely covered in slime.”
That gets a big, sincerely happy smile from him. "That's the biggest compliment you can give me. I just want to live an interesting and exciting life."
And he wants her to have that, too.
The impersonation has him widening his eyes and staring with his mouth open, but he loses it at gobbledegook. He only talks again when he's done laughing. "We need to fix your Rs, but you're on the right track." He then makes a very exaggerated American accent. "Waterrrrr~"
Still grinning like an idiot, he rests his body on his side again to look at her with adoring eyes. His erection has already gone away, and he doesn't even care. After kissing her softly, he asks-- "What have you been saying about me? Us?" His tone isn't judging; he's genuinely curious.
Midge continues her impression for another moment. “Could you believe that he made me crawl into a sewer in these boots? Outrageous.”
She laughs at his American accent. “If you think my accent is weird, wait until you hear the ones in Boston.” Her grin widens as she looks at him, so obviously in love. If nothing else, she hopes that her parents will see how much she adores him.
“I won’t lie. A lot of it has been about how amazing the sex is, but lately it’s shifted a bit to how much you make me laugh and how happy you make me.”
"Do you have ANY IDEA--" Here comes all the offended hand gesturing. "--the AMOUNT of shoes and doublets I've lost to fucking monster gunk?! The blisters! The smell! The bloodstains! Trekking up and down mountains on the best Temerian leather!" A sigh. "Fuck, I miss my Temerian boots."
The admission makes him smile again, so he kisses her once more. "That's incredibly sweet of you, and my reputation appreciates it. Does the public enjoy the corny over the funny, though?"
She can’t believe she forgot the hand gestures! Midge mimics him as he waves his hands around and goes on and on about his boots, before ultimately laughing.
“Not really,” she replies. “That’s why I usually tell funny anecdotes and end them with comments about how sweet and kind you are. If I stood up there and waxed on about how happy I was, people would leave in droves. They’ve come to see the mad divorcee of the Upper West Side.”
"Oh, oh! You think my suffering is funny, don't you?!" He playfully slaps her hands to make her stop. "Next time, I'll make sure to bring back some monster gunk and spill it on your dresses, see how it feels then!"
Jaskier can't help snorting at the last part. He wishes they'd come to see Midge because she's funny and witty, not because she's 'mad'. But he doesn't blame her, he knows what's needed to attract a crowd.
"The Mad Divorcee and the Witcher's Whore. What a pair we make." He shakes his head. "Does that mean tomorrow you'll tell them about your leg cramps?"
Her giggle becomes a belly laugh when Jaskier starts smacking her hands down.
“A perfect pair,” Midge says with a kiss. Hopefully that won’t freak him out like such talk does sometimes. “Oh, I will definitely be writing a joke about the leg cramp.”
He actually nods before kissing her back - he does think they're great for each other, he's just unsure if it'll work out. But he doesn't think about the future - perfect does describe this cute moment.
"Make sure to also mention you got the best massage of your life." He winks and boops her nose. "Sooooo~ Do you want to take a shower? Or have breakfast? Or... well."
He stares down at their genitals. His erection is gone - the moment is gone. He's good at bringing it back quickly, but he'll leave it up to her.
Midge raises a suggestive eyebrow at him. "Breakfast, I think." The moment is indeed gone, but there will be plenty of other moments between them in the future.
A few weeks and quite a few dates later, the weekend of the wedding finally approaches. Midge feels nervous for a variety of reasons, and she's glad that she and Jaskier are going out to the Hamptons a day early so that they can have some time to themselves. After threatening Susie that she better not suddenly appear in the Hamptons, Midge sets about packing. It's a week-long ordeal, though it's made easier by the fact that Yennefer has bewitched her suitcase to hold an infinite amount of items. Rose is extremely jealous and wants to know where she can get such a suitcase. Maybe Midge can convince Yennefer to make just one more.
Thus, Midge shows up at Jaskier's house with her one suitcase (it seems almost sacrilegious), wearing a sun hat and some culottes. Leaning in, she gives him a kiss, then takes a deep breath when she pulls back.
Breakfast without showering first means scaring Geralt with their smell. And it's absolutely worth it.
Days pass and Jaskier tries to take Midge out as many times as he can without bothering her schedule too much - she sends him the kids' schedule as he asked, and he tries not to bother her on the days she has them. Her work at The Wolford ends late, though, and the kids are already asleep anyway, so sometimes Jaskier does show up on those days just for a quick meal at some late-night crappy diner and a quickie in the bathroom. And he loves it all. They're always texting each other, too, which helps his days pass faster. His classes end a week before the wedding, and he throws himself into rehearsal then.
All his stuff goes in one magical suitcase, too, except for his guitar which goes on his back. Keeping it in the suitcase would make it too suspicious, and he doesn't trust it with his instrument anyway. He's learned that men are "allowed" to be a little more exotic at the beach, so he puts on a nice shirt with a pattern with loose pants. And shades! Can't forget about the shades. They truly make everyone look cooler, although he has to get used to the darker vision.
He's excited about performing, but nervous about dealing with the family. Geralt teases him the whole week.
"You look lovely, dear," he tells Midge before kissing her back. "Of course I'm ready." Seeing her makes him forget about all his troubles.
Yennefer opens the portal for them and reminds Jaskier that he's supposed to promote her potions - he's carrying lots of samples in the suitcase. Jaskier offers his arm to Midge and together they cross the portal to appear in... the parking lot. Well, they have to be discreet, so Yennefer has dropped them behind a big truck to keep the secret.
As they step into the sunlight, Jaskier looks around and whistles to show how impressed he is.
"Pretty fucking nice," he says as he raises his sunglasses to take a better look at the beach in the distance. Fuck, he can't wait. He turns to Midge. "Guide the way?"
They’ve made copious use of the Midtown apartment as well. One of the reasons that Midge is nervous about this weekend is that she and Jaskier will be officially sharing a hotel room. They don’t plan on announcing it to the party, but Midge is still worried about talk. This branch of the family can be particularly ugly.
Jaskier looks great, of course. She grins at him and holds onto his arm as they step through the portal. The weird sensation she gets in her stomach from traveling that way is worth it to be in the Hamptons in two seconds flat.
The hotel is gorgeous, as is the view of the beach. Arm in arm, they walk around to the front of the hotel so that they can check in at the front desk.
Jaskier's sunglasses end up hanging on his shirt pocket because he wants to look at everything. The hotel is incredibly beautiful, and Jaskier feels like he's at court again. He lets Midge do the talking, since in this world so far he's only stayed in motels with Geralt, but he pays attention to learn. The employees are surprised that they only have one suitcase each and Jaskier only winks at them as he and Midge roll away without needing any help.
They all know Midge, he realizes. But they're well trained to keep their mouths shut. He wonders if they talk about them after the elevator doors close.
The bedroom is as gorgeous as the rest of the hotel, and the bed is big - Jaskier can't wait for them to make good use of it in every sense of the word. After putting his things down, he quickly checks the bathroom to confirm they have a lovely tub that they can share. Then he rushes to the balcony to admire the view of the beach, a huge smile on his face as the breeze caresses his face and blows his hair a bit.
It’s a fantastic room. Midge is honestly surprised that they got it, considering that she is not Leah’s favorite person. Maybe it’s because of Jaskier. Leah seems to like him.
It’s sweet to see how excited Jaskier is about the ocean. Before unpacking her suitcase, Midge joins him on the balcony, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Not a bad view.”
He throws his head back over Midge's shoulder, enjoying the position - smaller people don't always dare to be the big spoon, and he adores Midge for going for it.
"I may've sweet-talked your cousin to get it," he shamelessly replies with a grin. "I can't fucking wait to go to the beach, but lunch time will be soon, so maybe we can get sand in our arses after eating. How about you give me a tour of the place? Maybe check some activity? Oh! We can look at the venue - I have a pass." Wink~
“So that’s why,” Midge replies. “She likes you. I knew she didn’t do this for me. I guess that means she knows about us?” Both of their names were on the room. Midge feels a stab of nerves when she thinks about how her extended family may react to the two of them, but the time for that is still to come. She doesn’t want to ruin she and Jaskier’s day together.
“Sure. Let’s go be nosy. I’ve stayed here a few times before so I know where everything is.”
That question makes his eyes widen, and he turns around to look Midge properly in the eye.
"Was she supposed not to know?" he asks with confusion and a bit of worry that he may've fucked up. "After we got officially together, you said you'd ask for a couple's room. I thought you told her first."
He nods at being nosy and moves back into the room to open his suitcase on the bed so he can get his satchel and throw a few things in there, including his notebook and his camera.
“No, no, it’s fine,” Midge says with a wave of her hand. “I didn’t realize that she was handling the reservations personally, but I don’t care if she knows.” Everyone is going to find out soon enough.
While Jaskier gets his things, Midge checks her outfit and adds a pair of sunglasses to it. Then, she reaches for his hand. “Ready?”
"I believe she has a wedding... organizer?" He forgot the word; he means wedding planner. "But at the end of the day, she has the final word on everything." The planner must do what Leah tells her to do, and that works in Jaskier's favor.
They take the elevator back to the lobby and ask for directions to the venue. Staff is already working to put decorations up, but only the basics. Jaskier shows an employee the pass Leah gave him and they're allowed to enter the room to check the place out.
It's a nice room, but Jaskier only has eyes for the stage.
"Look at the size!" he exclaims as he climbs on the stage. After a quick look around, he sings a very high note and laughs. "Perfect acoustics, too!"
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
He's pretty sure Yennefer wanted him to find her having sex with Geralt just to rub it on his face, but he never dared to ask.
no subject
Everyone else deals with kids and work and taxes. Jaskier deals with djinns and rituals.
“Maybe my next set of jokes about my boyfriend will be about how absolutely outrageous things are mundane to you.” Midge does an impersonation of Jaskier’s voice. “Well, today Geralt and I went into the sewers to fight a gobbledegook and got absolutely covered in slime.”
no subject
And he wants her to have that, too.
The impersonation has him widening his eyes and staring with his mouth open, but he loses it at gobbledegook. He only talks again when he's done laughing. "We need to fix your Rs, but you're on the right track." He then makes a very exaggerated American accent. "Waterrrrr~"
Still grinning like an idiot, he rests his body on his side again to look at her with adoring eyes. His erection has already gone away, and he doesn't even care. After kissing her softly, he asks-- "What have you been saying about me? Us?" His tone isn't judging; he's genuinely curious.
no subject
She laughs at his American accent. “If you think my accent is weird, wait until you hear the ones in Boston.” Her grin widens as she looks at him, so obviously in love. If nothing else, she hopes that her parents will see how much she adores him.
“I won’t lie. A lot of it has been about how amazing the sex is, but lately it’s shifted a bit to how much you make me laugh and how happy you make me.”
no subject
"Do you have ANY IDEA--" Here comes all the offended hand gesturing. "--the AMOUNT of shoes and doublets I've lost to fucking monster gunk?! The blisters! The smell! The bloodstains! Trekking up and down mountains on the best Temerian leather!" A sigh. "Fuck, I miss my Temerian boots."
The admission makes him smile again, so he kisses her once more. "That's incredibly sweet of you, and my reputation appreciates it. Does the public enjoy the corny over the funny, though?"
no subject
“Not really,” she replies. “That’s why I usually tell funny anecdotes and end them with comments about how sweet and kind you are. If I stood up there and waxed on about how happy I was, people would leave in droves. They’ve come to see the mad divorcee of the Upper West Side.”
no subject
Jaskier can't help snorting at the last part. He wishes they'd come to see Midge because she's funny and witty, not because she's 'mad'. But he doesn't blame her, he knows what's needed to attract a crowd.
"The Mad Divorcee and the Witcher's Whore. What a pair we make." He shakes his head. "Does that mean tomorrow you'll tell them about your leg cramps?"
no subject
“A perfect pair,” Midge says with a kiss. Hopefully that won’t freak him out like such talk does sometimes. “Oh, I will definitely be writing a joke about the leg cramp.”
no subject
"Make sure to also mention you got the best massage of your life." He winks and boops her nose. "Sooooo~ Do you want to take a shower? Or have breakfast? Or... well."
He stares down at their genitals. His erection is gone - the moment is gone. He's good at bringing it back quickly, but he'll leave it up to her.
no subject
A few weeks and quite a few dates later, the weekend of the wedding finally approaches. Midge feels nervous for a variety of reasons, and she's glad that she and Jaskier are going out to the Hamptons a day early so that they can have some time to themselves. After threatening Susie that she better not suddenly appear in the Hamptons, Midge sets about packing. It's a week-long ordeal, though it's made easier by the fact that Yennefer has bewitched her suitcase to hold an infinite amount of items. Rose is extremely jealous and wants to know where she can get such a suitcase. Maybe Midge can convince Yennefer to make just one more.
Thus, Midge shows up at Jaskier's house with her one suitcase (it seems almost sacrilegious), wearing a sun hat and some culottes. Leaning in, she gives him a kiss, then takes a deep breath when she pulls back.
"Are you ready?"
no subject
Days pass and Jaskier tries to take Midge out as many times as he can without bothering her schedule too much - she sends him the kids' schedule as he asked, and he tries not to bother her on the days she has them. Her work at The Wolford ends late, though, and the kids are already asleep anyway, so sometimes Jaskier does show up on those days just for a quick meal at some late-night crappy diner and a quickie in the bathroom. And he loves it all. They're always texting each other, too, which helps his days pass faster. His classes end a week before the wedding, and he throws himself into rehearsal then.
All his stuff goes in one magical suitcase, too, except for his guitar which goes on his back. Keeping it in the suitcase would make it too suspicious, and he doesn't trust it with his instrument anyway. He's learned that men are "allowed" to be a little more exotic at the beach, so he puts on a nice shirt with a pattern with loose pants. And shades! Can't forget about the shades. They truly make everyone look cooler, although he has to get used to the darker vision.
He's excited about performing, but nervous about dealing with the family. Geralt teases him the whole week.
"You look lovely, dear," he tells Midge before kissing her back. "Of course I'm ready." Seeing her makes him forget about all his troubles.
Yennefer opens the portal for them and reminds Jaskier that he's supposed to promote her potions - he's carrying lots of samples in the suitcase. Jaskier offers his arm to Midge and together they cross the portal to appear in... the parking lot. Well, they have to be discreet, so Yennefer has dropped them behind a big truck to keep the secret.
As they step into the sunlight, Jaskier looks around and whistles to show how impressed he is.
"Pretty fucking nice," he says as he raises his sunglasses to take a better look at the beach in the distance. Fuck, he can't wait. He turns to Midge. "Guide the way?"
no subject
Jaskier looks great, of course. She grins at him and holds onto his arm as they step through the portal. The weird sensation she gets in her stomach from traveling that way is worth it to be in the Hamptons in two seconds flat.
The hotel is gorgeous, as is the view of the beach. Arm in arm, they walk around to the front of the hotel so that they can check in at the front desk.
no subject
They all know Midge, he realizes. But they're well trained to keep their mouths shut. He wonders if they talk about them after the elevator doors close.
The bedroom is as gorgeous as the rest of the hotel, and the bed is big - Jaskier can't wait for them to make good use of it in every sense of the word. After putting his things down, he quickly checks the bathroom to confirm they have a lovely tub that they can share. Then he rushes to the balcony to admire the view of the beach, a huge smile on his face as the breeze caresses his face and blows his hair a bit.
"I miss you, old friend."
no subject
It’s sweet to see how excited Jaskier is about the ocean. Before unpacking her suitcase, Midge joins him on the balcony, wrapping her arms around him from behind and resting her chin on his shoulder. “Not a bad view.”
no subject
"I may've sweet-talked your cousin to get it," he shamelessly replies with a grin. "I can't fucking wait to go to the beach, but lunch time will be soon, so maybe we can get sand in our arses after eating. How about you give me a tour of the place? Maybe check some activity? Oh! We can look at the venue - I have a pass." Wink~
no subject
“Sure. Let’s go be nosy. I’ve stayed here a few times before so I know where everything is.”
no subject
"Was she supposed not to know?" he asks with confusion and a bit of worry that he may've fucked up. "After we got officially together, you said you'd ask for a couple's room. I thought you told her first."
He nods at being nosy and moves back into the room to open his suitcase on the bed so he can get his satchel and throw a few things in there, including his notebook and his camera.
no subject
While Jaskier gets his things, Midge checks her outfit and adds a pair of sunglasses to it. Then, she reaches for his hand. “Ready?”
no subject
They take the elevator back to the lobby and ask for directions to the venue. Staff is already working to put decorations up, but only the basics. Jaskier shows an employee the pass Leah gave him and they're allowed to enter the room to check the place out.
It's a nice room, but Jaskier only has eyes for the stage.
"Look at the size!" he exclaims as he climbs on the stage. After a quick look around, he sings a very high note and laughs. "Perfect acoustics, too!"