Midge gives a little yelp of pleasure when he thrusts hard. Her eyes are locked on the mirror. Hopefully Jaskier will forgive her for paying more attention their reflections than him this one time.
She’s working herself up nicely when she can feel a muscle start to seize in her leg. The gasp she gives now is one of pain.
A reflection of them, so that still counts as attention in his eyes.
As soon as he hears that gasp, Jaskier stops thrusting.
"Fuck," he curses as he pulls out. His cock is hard and wet, but he ignores it while he gently puts her leg down before massaging it. "Is this good? Should I get the oil?"
they have plenty of hot sex, so they can have some fail sex
She’s glad that he stops, although he isn’t the type of man who would keep plowing on if his partner was in pain. Midge hisses as she gently lowers the leg to the bed.
“Massage is fine… a little lower.”
The muscle locks up again and Midge lets out a long owwwwwww. Fucking hell of a time to get a cramp.
I love it. Also ironic to get this tag while I'm watching her fail at the garbage man show
Jaskier lowers his hands as soon as she requests it, but that long ow breaks his heart.
"Oh, darling..." So much for trusting him with this, huh?
He leaves her side but not the bed - he just needs to reach over the edge to grab his chamomile oil from his nightstand. Now he can properly sit next to her and gently put her legs on top of his. He pours some oil on his hands and rubs them to warm them up before going back to massaging her leg. He gives fucking good massages, he didn't lie about that.
"Stretching before sex?" He chuckles. "Please tell me we aren't that old."
When Midge relaxes, Jaskier lies on his side next to her and kisses her forehead. He can't help smiling, because she's being cute but also because the situation is amusing.
"Why are you apologizing? It's not like you did it on purpose. It happens! I've been there too. This isn't even close to the worst sex I've had." He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, a sweet gesture that doesn't match where his mouth goes next. "I puked on a bloke's cock once."
"Yes, but I'm preeeeetty sure he triggered it when he pushed his cock too far into my mouth," he explains with an annoyed face. He doesn't share that he had been drinking and chose a very thick cock because Yennefer had been around and he wanted to forget.
He squeezes her hand. "Geralt puked in a brothel once. We had to pay for the cleaning. And I never told you this."
“Oh,” she replies. She’d been hoping that it wasn’t because someone was rough with him. Midge kisses his temple.
“I nearly puked on Joel once, which is why I don’t drink tequila anymore,” Midge continues. “It’s funny imagining someone as good-looking as Geralt having to go to a brothel, but you said it was different where you come from.” He was considered to be a mutant freak.
He laughs at the mental image and doesn't say that he wishes she had puked on Joel. It would've been bad for her, too, not fair for poor Midge.
"I only tried tequila once, but it seems you aren't missing much." Jaskier's speedrun to get Mexico to hate him. He plays with her hair while he nods. "They considered him a monster, so most women wouldn't sleep with him. And whores charged him extra. Half of them smelled terrified, so it wasn't even that good for him in the end." He sighs. "I had to go to the brothel a couple of times, too. I prefer meeting people organically, but they considered me dirty by association. Witcher's whore and all the crap."
Never letting go of Midge's hand, he rests on his back and stares at the ceiling, thinking about the past few months and their lives in this world. "It's still hard to believe the way women start at him here. Not unearned, mind you, it's just... new. And frustrating, because of course this finally happens to him now that he can't take advantage of it." He shakes his head. "Destiny is a cruel mistress."
“He’s exotic-looking, for sure, and doesn’t look like most men here, but I’m sure that’s part of the appeal. That grumpy aloof thing does it for some women too.”
Midge meant what she said last night though. Jaskier is a much better match for her. They’re like butterflies drawn to each other’s flames.
She brushes her thumb over the back of Jaskier’s hand. “Geralt doesn’t strike me as the type of person to sleep with everything that moves, unlike some people I know.” Her tone of voice is fond.
since Geralt didn't peek during his bath with Yen, this is 100% canon :)
He brings her hand up to kiss it, but it's interrupted when he has to laugh pretty hard.
"He may not be as slutty as I am, but I assure you that he enjoys one-night stands as well. Well, he did, before going serious with Yennefer. And she's not shy about sex either." He chuckles when he remembers something. "If I'm not mistaken, I saw her tits before he did!"
He may be a slut, but he’s her slut now. Midge has become a bit of a slut for him too. No other relationship has made her want sex as often as she does with him. Maybe she’s just letting go of some inhibitions.
“This country is very puritanical about sex.” She pauses, realizing that he might not know what that word means. “Prude. Because it was founded by Puritans, who were exceptionally prude and closed-minded. You would have hated them.
Did you and Yennefer…?”
That’s not the vibe that Midge got between them, but he does fuck everything that moves.
"So have I noticed. Worry not, so was my home world. You just happened to meet the family of weirdos. Do not take us as models of what our society was like. Divorce and swimsuits already put this place ahead of us."
Not gonna bring up religion, but boy, does he want to put a lot of blame on it.
The question makes Jaskier laugh the loudest he's laughed since he met Midge. He even covers his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. It's not a typical amused laugh, although there definitely is a bit of amusement in there. It's also mixed with a mess of emotions caused bh years of the messy relationships among the three of them.
"Gods no! The mere idea..." He shakes his head. "We were never like that. She is a very beatiful woman, and I would've hit on her in another conext... but alas." He pokes Midge's ribs. "Don't tell her I said that."
Considering she’s not a Puritan and claims no Puritan ancestry, she doesn’t disagree, but she knows that Jaskier lumps Judaism in with Christianity, even if they’re not even remotely the same to Midge.
He’s never laughed like that at one of her jokes and she wonders if she ought to be offended. “Do I even want to know how you ended up seeing her tits then?”
"Remember the djinn? After she cured me, she wanted to capture it. Her dress was open at the front and she had painted some symbol thingy on her stomach for the ritual." He shrugs. "I was teasing anyway - tits first or not, it doesn't make that much of a difference in the end. The three of us have walked in on each other so many times through the years, we all know what our sex faces are."
He's pretty sure Yennefer wanted him to find her having sex with Geralt just to rub it on his face, but he never dared to ask.
Midge snorts a little laugh. “I just want you to know that you’ve lived a more interesting and exciting life than about 90% of the people I know.”
Everyone else deals with kids and work and taxes. Jaskier deals with djinns and rituals.
“Maybe my next set of jokes about my boyfriend will be about how absolutely outrageous things are mundane to you.” Midge does an impersonation of Jaskier’s voice. “Well, today Geralt and I went into the sewers to fight a gobbledegook and got absolutely covered in slime.”
That gets a big, sincerely happy smile from him. "That's the biggest compliment you can give me. I just want to live an interesting and exciting life."
And he wants her to have that, too.
The impersonation has him widening his eyes and staring with his mouth open, but he loses it at gobbledegook. He only talks again when he's done laughing. "We need to fix your Rs, but you're on the right track." He then makes a very exaggerated American accent. "Waterrrrr~"
Still grinning like an idiot, he rests his body on his side again to look at her with adoring eyes. His erection has already gone away, and he doesn't even care. After kissing her softly, he asks-- "What have you been saying about me? Us?" His tone isn't judging; he's genuinely curious.
Midge continues her impression for another moment. “Could you believe that he made me crawl into a sewer in these boots? Outrageous.”
She laughs at his American accent. “If you think my accent is weird, wait until you hear the ones in Boston.” Her grin widens as she looks at him, so obviously in love. If nothing else, she hopes that her parents will see how much she adores him.
“I won’t lie. A lot of it has been about how amazing the sex is, but lately it’s shifted a bit to how much you make me laugh and how happy you make me.”
"Do you have ANY IDEA--" Here comes all the offended hand gesturing. "--the AMOUNT of shoes and doublets I've lost to fucking monster gunk?! The blisters! The smell! The bloodstains! Trekking up and down mountains on the best Temerian leather!" A sigh. "Fuck, I miss my Temerian boots."
The admission makes him smile again, so he kisses her once more. "That's incredibly sweet of you, and my reputation appreciates it. Does the public enjoy the corny over the funny, though?"
She can’t believe she forgot the hand gestures! Midge mimics him as he waves his hands around and goes on and on about his boots, before ultimately laughing.
“Not really,” she replies. “That’s why I usually tell funny anecdotes and end them with comments about how sweet and kind you are. If I stood up there and waxed on about how happy I was, people would leave in droves. They’ve come to see the mad divorcee of the Upper West Side.”
"Oh, oh! You think my suffering is funny, don't you?!" He playfully slaps her hands to make her stop. "Next time, I'll make sure to bring back some monster gunk and spill it on your dresses, see how it feels then!"
Jaskier can't help snorting at the last part. He wishes they'd come to see Midge because she's funny and witty, not because she's 'mad'. But he doesn't blame her, he knows what's needed to attract a crowd.
"The Mad Divorcee and the Witcher's Whore. What a pair we make." He shakes his head. "Does that mean tomorrow you'll tell them about your leg cramps?"
Her giggle becomes a belly laugh when Jaskier starts smacking her hands down.
“A perfect pair,” Midge says with a kiss. Hopefully that won’t freak him out like such talk does sometimes. “Oh, I will definitely be writing a joke about the leg cramp.”
He actually nods before kissing her back - he does think they're great for each other, he's just unsure if it'll work out. But he doesn't think about the future - perfect does describe this cute moment.
"Make sure to also mention you got the best massage of your life." He winks and boops her nose. "Sooooo~ Do you want to take a shower? Or have breakfast? Or... well."
He stares down at their genitals. His erection is gone - the moment is gone. He's good at bringing it back quickly, but he'll leave it up to her.
Midge raises a suggestive eyebrow at him. "Breakfast, I think." The moment is indeed gone, but there will be plenty of other moments between them in the future.
A few weeks and quite a few dates later, the weekend of the wedding finally approaches. Midge feels nervous for a variety of reasons, and she's glad that she and Jaskier are going out to the Hamptons a day early so that they can have some time to themselves. After threatening Susie that she better not suddenly appear in the Hamptons, Midge sets about packing. It's a week-long ordeal, though it's made easier by the fact that Yennefer has bewitched her suitcase to hold an infinite amount of items. Rose is extremely jealous and wants to know where she can get such a suitcase. Maybe Midge can convince Yennefer to make just one more.
Thus, Midge shows up at Jaskier's house with her one suitcase (it seems almost sacrilegious), wearing a sun hat and some culottes. Leaning in, she gives him a kiss, then takes a deep breath when she pulls back.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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She’s working herself up nicely when she can feel a muscle start to seize in her leg. The gasp she gives now is one of pain.
“Ohhh leg cramp.”
lmao yesssssss ty
As soon as he hears that gasp, Jaskier stops thrusting.
"Fuck," he curses as he pulls out. His cock is hard and wet, but he ignores it while he gently puts her leg down before massaging it. "Is this good? Should I get the oil?"
they have plenty of hot sex, so they can have some fail sex
“Massage is fine… a little lower.”
The muscle locks up again and Midge lets out a long owwwwwww. Fucking hell of a time to get a cramp.
I love it. Also ironic to get this tag while I'm watching her fail at the garbage man show
"Oh, darling..." So much for trusting him with this, huh?
He leaves her side but not the bed - he just needs to reach over the edge to grab his chamomile oil from his nightstand. Now he can properly sit next to her and gently put her legs on top of his. He pours some oil on his hands and rubs them to warm them up before going back to massaging her leg. He gives fucking good massages, he didn't lie about that.
And of course, he hums while doing it.
omggg
The oil is actually nice, with a soothing scent. Her leg finally stops spasming and Midge relaxes on the bed as Jaskier keeps rubbing the pain away.
“Shit… I’m sorry.”
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When Midge relaxes, Jaskier lies on his side next to her and kisses her forehead. He can't help smiling, because she's being cute but also because the situation is amusing.
"Why are you apologizing? It's not like you did it on purpose. It happens! I've been there too. This isn't even close to the worst sex I've had." He tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, a sweet gesture that doesn't match where his mouth goes next. "I puked on a bloke's cock once."
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She makes a grossed out face at his confession. “Were you drinking?” she asks.
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He squeezes her hand. "Geralt puked in a brothel once. We had to pay for the cleaning. And I never told you this."
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“I nearly puked on Joel once, which is why I don’t drink tequila anymore,” Midge continues. “It’s funny imagining someone as good-looking as Geralt having to go to a brothel, but you said it was different where you come from.” He was considered to be a mutant freak.
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"I only tried tequila once, but it seems you aren't missing much." Jaskier's speedrun to get Mexico to hate him. He plays with her hair while he nods. "They considered him a monster, so most women wouldn't sleep with him. And whores charged him extra. Half of them smelled terrified, so it wasn't even that good for him in the end." He sighs. "I had to go to the brothel a couple of times, too. I prefer meeting people organically, but they considered me dirty by association. Witcher's whore and all the crap."
Never letting go of Midge's hand, he rests on his back and stares at the ceiling, thinking about the past few months and their lives in this world. "It's still hard to believe the way women start at him here. Not unearned, mind you, it's just... new. And frustrating, because of course this finally happens to him now that he can't take advantage of it." He shakes his head. "Destiny is a cruel mistress."
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Midge meant what she said last night though. Jaskier is a much better match for her. They’re like butterflies drawn to each other’s flames.
She brushes her thumb over the back of Jaskier’s hand. “Geralt doesn’t strike me as the type of person to sleep with everything that moves, unlike some people I know.” Her tone of voice is fond.
since Geralt didn't peek during his bath with Yen, this is 100% canon :)
"He may not be as slutty as I am, but I assure you that he enjoys one-night stands as well. Well, he did, before going serious with Yennefer. And she's not shy about sex either." He chuckles when he remembers something. "If I'm not mistaken, I saw her tits before he did!"
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“This country is very puritanical about sex.” She pauses, realizing that he might not know what that word means. “Prude. Because it was founded by Puritans, who were exceptionally prude and closed-minded. You would have hated them.
Did you and Yennefer…?”
That’s not the vibe that Midge got between them, but he does fuck everything that moves.
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Not gonna bring up religion, but boy, does he want to put a lot of blame on it.
The question makes Jaskier laugh the loudest he's laughed since he met Midge. He even covers his eyes as he tries to catch his breath. It's not a typical amused laugh, although there definitely is a bit of amusement in there. It's also mixed with a mess of emotions caused bh years of the messy relationships among the three of them.
"Gods no! The mere idea..." He shakes his head. "We were never like that. She is a very beatiful woman, and I would've hit on her in another conext... but alas." He pokes Midge's ribs. "Don't tell her I said that."
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He’s never laughed like that at one of her jokes and she wonders if she ought to be offended. “Do I even want to know how you ended up seeing her tits then?”
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He's pretty sure Yennefer wanted him to find her having sex with Geralt just to rub it on his face, but he never dared to ask.
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Everyone else deals with kids and work and taxes. Jaskier deals with djinns and rituals.
“Maybe my next set of jokes about my boyfriend will be about how absolutely outrageous things are mundane to you.” Midge does an impersonation of Jaskier’s voice. “Well, today Geralt and I went into the sewers to fight a gobbledegook and got absolutely covered in slime.”
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And he wants her to have that, too.
The impersonation has him widening his eyes and staring with his mouth open, but he loses it at gobbledegook. He only talks again when he's done laughing. "We need to fix your Rs, but you're on the right track." He then makes a very exaggerated American accent. "Waterrrrr~"
Still grinning like an idiot, he rests his body on his side again to look at her with adoring eyes. His erection has already gone away, and he doesn't even care. After kissing her softly, he asks-- "What have you been saying about me? Us?" His tone isn't judging; he's genuinely curious.
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She laughs at his American accent. “If you think my accent is weird, wait until you hear the ones in Boston.” Her grin widens as she looks at him, so obviously in love. If nothing else, she hopes that her parents will see how much she adores him.
“I won’t lie. A lot of it has been about how amazing the sex is, but lately it’s shifted a bit to how much you make me laugh and how happy you make me.”
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"Do you have ANY IDEA--" Here comes all the offended hand gesturing. "--the AMOUNT of shoes and doublets I've lost to fucking monster gunk?! The blisters! The smell! The bloodstains! Trekking up and down mountains on the best Temerian leather!" A sigh. "Fuck, I miss my Temerian boots."
The admission makes him smile again, so he kisses her once more. "That's incredibly sweet of you, and my reputation appreciates it. Does the public enjoy the corny over the funny, though?"
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“Not really,” she replies. “That’s why I usually tell funny anecdotes and end them with comments about how sweet and kind you are. If I stood up there and waxed on about how happy I was, people would leave in droves. They’ve come to see the mad divorcee of the Upper West Side.”
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Jaskier can't help snorting at the last part. He wishes they'd come to see Midge because she's funny and witty, not because she's 'mad'. But he doesn't blame her, he knows what's needed to attract a crowd.
"The Mad Divorcee and the Witcher's Whore. What a pair we make." He shakes his head. "Does that mean tomorrow you'll tell them about your leg cramps?"
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“A perfect pair,” Midge says with a kiss. Hopefully that won’t freak him out like such talk does sometimes. “Oh, I will definitely be writing a joke about the leg cramp.”
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"Make sure to also mention you got the best massage of your life." He winks and boops her nose. "Sooooo~ Do you want to take a shower? Or have breakfast? Or... well."
He stares down at their genitals. His erection is gone - the moment is gone. He's good at bringing it back quickly, but he'll leave it up to her.
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A few weeks and quite a few dates later, the weekend of the wedding finally approaches. Midge feels nervous for a variety of reasons, and she's glad that she and Jaskier are going out to the Hamptons a day early so that they can have some time to themselves. After threatening Susie that she better not suddenly appear in the Hamptons, Midge sets about packing. It's a week-long ordeal, though it's made easier by the fact that Yennefer has bewitched her suitcase to hold an infinite amount of items. Rose is extremely jealous and wants to know where she can get such a suitcase. Maybe Midge can convince Yennefer to make just one more.
Thus, Midge shows up at Jaskier's house with her one suitcase (it seems almost sacrilegious), wearing a sun hat and some culottes. Leaning in, she gives him a kiss, then takes a deep breath when she pulls back.
"Are you ready?"