That silence is a bit worrisome, Jaskier thinks. Pausing to think isn't bad per se, but he didn't think his question was that kind. He wonders what he's poked, and it seems he's about to find out.
"You have not, no. Shy Baldwin..." Thinking for a second. "He's a singer, right?"
“Yes,” she confirms. “Before you and I met, I was touring with him as his opening act. We spent some time in Vegas and in Florida. It was… good. He and I got along really well and got to hang out a few times, which is how I found out something about him.”
Midge’s eyes meet Jaskier’s. “He’s… gay. But he’s not like how you are, open with your attraction to men. I found him once after another man had beaten him up.”
As an opening act, but still. Jaskier is jealous right now; he's itching to get back on the road. How come her career is still stuck then? Obviously, this isn't a happy story, and he wonders if he'll regret asking.
Her comment makes him sigh. "I'm not open, Midge. I told you because Brandon told you first." And she kinda cornered him with the question.
He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking about the one time he saw Shy on TV. Not even fame can save his people from this, goddammit. It's frustrating and depressing, and he just wants to scream. "I saw him on TV, so I'm guessing he's fine - well, as fine as he can be hiding it. He didn't get caught, I take it?"
“It was amazing.” Even as an opening act for someone. She got her name and face and jokes out there in front of a lot of people. “I did miss my kids a bit though.” It was hard, being away from them while she tried to build her dream.
“Oh,” she replies. “I meant… you perform at Rainbow Road… he would never do that.” Only a handful of people even knew Shy was gay. By comparison, Jaskier is practically screaming about it.
“No,” Midge continues. “He has a manager who is as protective of him as Susie is of me. Anyway, before he started his international tour, he did a show at the Apollo. It was kind of a homecoming show for him. There were a lot of people there who knew him.” She takes a deep breath. “I made some jokes that alluded to him being gay. Mannerisms, I guess. I shouldn’t have done it, and I regret it, even though the crowd absolutely loved it.”
Midge is quiet for a moment and she wonders if Jaskier thinks less of her now. “His manager did not like it. He thought I was going to potentially expose him, accidentally or not. I wouldn’t have done that, but he thought I was a liability to his image. They told Susie and I that we were off the tour and left us on the tarmac, in Newark of all places.”
She missed her kids, but she went. Jaskier is proud of her, and it's a good sign for her career in the future. He decides not to comment on it, though, because she already has enough insecurities as a mother - that's a talk for another day.
"Oh," he replies with understanding when Midge comments on Rainbow Road. Yeah, Jaskier hides it in public, but queer spaces are supposed to be safe. Shy is so closeted that he doesn't even get that? Fuck. "Yeah, that's a fair difference to point out."
Jaskier is starting to get worried about this bloke. He's also fearing where this story is going.
That fear still doesn't prepare him for the final bomb.
"You WHAT?!" His voice reaches a very high pitch, horror and distress wrapped in a ball of disbelief. Jaskier sits up, face white and hands flying in every direction, his mind a hurricane of emotions that can only be summarized with an inner scream. "What the fuck, Miriam, you saw him beaten up! How--"
His eyes widen and his hands fall on his lap when he remembers that she's been making jokes about the guy she's been sleeping with - aka him. "...what have you said about me?" he asks with a small, vulnerable voice.
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"You have not, no. Shy Baldwin..." Thinking for a second. "He's a singer, right?"
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Midge’s eyes meet Jaskier’s. “He’s… gay. But he’s not like how you are, open with your attraction to men. I found him once after another man had beaten him up.”
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As an opening act, but still. Jaskier is jealous right now; he's itching to get back on the road. How come her career is still stuck then? Obviously, this isn't a happy story, and he wonders if he'll regret asking.
Her comment makes him sigh. "I'm not open, Midge. I told you because Brandon told you first." And she kinda cornered him with the question.
He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking about the one time he saw Shy on TV. Not even fame can save his people from this, goddammit. It's frustrating and depressing, and he just wants to scream. "I saw him on TV, so I'm guessing he's fine - well, as fine as he can be hiding it. He didn't get caught, I take it?"
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“Oh,” she replies. “I meant… you perform at Rainbow Road… he would never do that.” Only a handful of people even knew Shy was gay. By comparison, Jaskier is practically screaming about it.
“No,” Midge continues. “He has a manager who is as protective of him as Susie is of me. Anyway, before he started his international tour, he did a show at the Apollo. It was kind of a homecoming show for him. There were a lot of people there who knew him.” She takes a deep breath. “I made some jokes that alluded to him being gay. Mannerisms, I guess. I shouldn’t have done it, and I regret it, even though the crowd absolutely loved it.”
Midge is quiet for a moment and she wonders if Jaskier thinks less of her now. “His manager did not like it. He thought I was going to potentially expose him, accidentally or not. I wouldn’t have done that, but he thought I was a liability to his image. They told Susie and I that we were off the tour and left us on the tarmac, in Newark of all places.”
A fate worse than death.
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"Oh," he replies with understanding when Midge comments on Rainbow Road. Yeah, Jaskier hides it in public, but queer spaces are supposed to be safe. Shy is so closeted that he doesn't even get that? Fuck. "Yeah, that's a fair difference to point out."
Jaskier is starting to get worried about this bloke. He's also fearing where this story is going.
That fear still doesn't prepare him for the final bomb.
"You WHAT?!" His voice reaches a very high pitch, horror and distress wrapped in a ball of disbelief. Jaskier sits up, face white and hands flying in every direction, his mind a hurricane of emotions that can only be summarized with an inner scream. "What the fuck, Miriam, you saw him beaten up! How--"
His eyes widen and his hands fall on his lap when he remembers that she's been making jokes about the guy she's been sleeping with - aka him. "...what have you said about me?" he asks with a small, vulnerable voice.