Jaskier hums in a rhythm that follows her stroking, almost starting a tune. Before he can push it more in that direction, he has to stop humming to answer her question.
He blinks. "I've never thought about it. I just... like people." A pause as he thinks about it a little more. "I hate being alone."
Midge nods at that sentiment. “I don’t like being alone either,” she says, “though sometimes you can be surrounded by people and still feel pretty lonely.”
It happens when it seems like people don’t understand her.
He nods as well and brings up their joined hands to kiss her knuckles. "Especially in crowds that just happen to be there because they like the ale, and your voice is nothing but background noise. If they're listening at all."
Midge groans at that mental image, only because she’s seen it a hundred times.
“I’ve heckled people from the stage and they’ve had no idea that I’m even talking about them.” She’s kind of hard to ignore, but it’s happened. “The only thing I don’t like about performing at The Wolford is that I know nobody’s there to see me. They’re just waiting for me to get off stage so that they can see some tits. Naked ones.”
That groan says it all. Jaskier continues to nod along and brings her close to cuddle her again when she expresses her frustration.
"Their little brains don't have the power to manage their ego and the world at the same time. So they stick to their egos." He tilts his head at her. "Why do you stick to The Wolford then?"
She’s quiet for a moment as the real answer comes to her and she debates if she ought to voice it. If there’s anyone whom she could say it to, anyone who would understand, it’s Jaskier.
“It’s safe.” Her voice is quiet. “Did I tell you about Shy Baldwin and how I got kicked off his tour?”
That silence is a bit worrisome, Jaskier thinks. Pausing to think isn't bad per se, but he didn't think his question was that kind. He wonders what he's poked, and it seems he's about to find out.
"You have not, no. Shy Baldwin..." Thinking for a second. "He's a singer, right?"
“Yes,” she confirms. “Before you and I met, I was touring with him as his opening act. We spent some time in Vegas and in Florida. It was… good. He and I got along really well and got to hang out a few times, which is how I found out something about him.”
Midge’s eyes meet Jaskier’s. “He’s… gay. But he’s not like how you are, open with your attraction to men. I found him once after another man had beaten him up.”
As an opening act, but still. Jaskier is jealous right now; he's itching to get back on the road. How come her career is still stuck then? Obviously, this isn't a happy story, and he wonders if he'll regret asking.
Her comment makes him sigh. "I'm not open, Midge. I told you because Brandon told you first." And she kinda cornered him with the question.
He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking about the one time he saw Shy on TV. Not even fame can save his people from this, goddammit. It's frustrating and depressing, and he just wants to scream. "I saw him on TV, so I'm guessing he's fine - well, as fine as he can be hiding it. He didn't get caught, I take it?"
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He blinks. "I've never thought about it. I just... like people." A pause as he thinks about it a little more. "I hate being alone."
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It happens when it seems like people don’t understand her.
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“I’ve heckled people from the stage and they’ve had no idea that I’m even talking about them.” She’s kind of hard to ignore, but it’s happened. “The only thing I don’t like about performing at The Wolford is that I know nobody’s there to see me. They’re just waiting for me to get off stage so that they can see some tits. Naked ones.”
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"Their little brains don't have the power to manage their ego and the world at the same time. So they stick to their egos." He tilts his head at her. "Why do you stick to The Wolford then?"
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“It’s safe.” Her voice is quiet. “Did I tell you about Shy Baldwin and how I got kicked off his tour?”
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"You have not, no. Shy Baldwin..." Thinking for a second. "He's a singer, right?"
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Midge’s eyes meet Jaskier’s. “He’s… gay. But he’s not like how you are, open with your attraction to men. I found him once after another man had beaten him up.”
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As an opening act, but still. Jaskier is jealous right now; he's itching to get back on the road. How come her career is still stuck then? Obviously, this isn't a happy story, and he wonders if he'll regret asking.
Her comment makes him sigh. "I'm not open, Midge. I told you because Brandon told you first." And she kinda cornered him with the question.
He runs his fingers through his hair, thinking about the one time he saw Shy on TV. Not even fame can save his people from this, goddammit. It's frustrating and depressing, and he just wants to scream. "I saw him on TV, so I'm guessing he's fine - well, as fine as he can be hiding it. He didn't get caught, I take it?"