doesntsing | open post

Midge hopes that if someone was attacking her, he would try to help her, but he’s also brought up her parents again.

She furrows her brow. “It’s not that I didn’t like it, it’s just that I don’t think my parents are trying to hurt me. They’re just… practical people. They can’t believe that people make money telling jokes onstage, especially not women. They also think that what I make jokes about is vulgar, and by conventional standards, it is. They would be offended if a man said those things too, but I think that they, like most of society, are more offended when it comes from a woman.

They’re not the most modern, free-thinking people, but I love them, Jaskier. And I know that they love me.”

If someone was physically attacking her and his family wasn't around, he would indeed try to help. But he understood defending her honor as merely someone insulting her.

He watches her for a second, and he sighs. "I'm going to say something, and-- it's not a jab at your parents, although it does apply. It's about love and the logic you just used." He pokes her nose. "A person's love isn't proof that they aren't hurting you. Love makes people some really stupid shit."

Could Joel be proof of this, maybe? Jaskier isn't sure how true his love for Midge is.

“Why do you say that they’re hurting me, Jaskier?”

Midge genuinely wants to know what his reasoning is. She’s not angry. She wants to understand.

"Miriam," he says rather seriously. "One of the first things you told me about your parents is that you wished you had split custody of them. You can't possibly tell me you enjoy hearing their comments."

“Well, that was supposed to be a joke,” Midge says quietly. “No grown woman wants her parents around all the time. It does get a little annoying when Mama asks when I’m getting married again or when Papa lectures me about something, but they’re not malicious, Jaskier.”

"I never called them malicious," he quickly points out. "This is what I just explained to you! Just because someone doesn't mean it, it doesn't mean it doesn't hurt! Have you not noticed all the inner shame you daily struggle with? You can't seriously tell me their comments don't affect you! And you've told me how tired you are of having to explain yourself to them!"

“Jaskier, what am I supposed to do about them?” she asks in frustration. “I can’t control or change the way that they think! I’m not going to cut them off either. The only option I have is to deal with them.”

They’re her parents and she loves them, even if they drive her insane sometimes. This isn’t like Jaskier’s parents, nor does she plan to take the same solution that Jaskier did. Her parents are not going to change and she’s not going to stop speaking to them. So, here she is.

"I'm not asking you to cut them off!" Here comes all the dramatic hand gesturing. "I just want them to fucking understand that their comments aren't harmless! I fucking bet you never told them, not in so many words."

Midge can wave her hands as well. “I haven’t! Because it isn’t going to change anything! So what’s the point?”

She blinks back tears and reaches up to wipe her eyes.

“I’ve argued with them, sure, but I don’t even know how they would react if I sat down and told them that some of the things they say are hurtful.”

"Fuck."

Jaskier immediately sits up and brings Midge to his lap to cradle her and rock her, rubbing her back.

"Love, I'm sorry for making you cry. I hate seeing you cry. But-- you've asked me to defend your honor. I've been doing that since we met in that cell. Yet I've promised I wouldn't fight with your parents, so I can't really defend you against them. If they'd believe me at all, honestly." A little sigh. "If you don't know how they'd react, what do you lose in trying? Maybe it does change something."

“It’s okay,” Midge replies as she tucks her head under his chin. He’s trying to help, even if Midge thinks there isn’t really a problem.

Deep down, she would love it if her parents were supportive of her career, but she also doubts that will ever actually happen.

“I don’t know. What if they think I’m being ridiculous?”

He holds her close and never stops rubbing her back, trying to shower her with affection.

"Well..." A pause as he thinks how to word this. "You already are the rebel daughter. Divorced, performing at strip clubs, saying naughty stuff, having a social life regardless of the children, dating outside your community... Can it truly get worse than their reactions to all of that?"

She hums a laugh at that, then pulls back so that she can look at him, her eyes watery.

“They could disown me, say they never want to see me again. I know. That’s probably unlikely. But you did ask for the worst case scenario.”

Laughter is good, Jaskier hopes. He kisses her tears away.

"I did not, you cheating, witty lady." He kisses her nose too. "I asked if it could really get worse than you working at a fucking strip club and making jokes about cocks. If they're still living with you after those two things, I have trouble believing that they'll get angry at you over anything else. Unless you like... murder the rabbi, I suppose."

She smiles when he kisses her face. Jaskier always knows how to make her feel better.

“You have a point,” she admits, “though I don’t really know how to approach them. Do you think I should say something the next time I feel like they aren’t being supportive?”

Would confronting them like that just make things worse?

"Mmmh..." He thinks about it for a second. "It does sound like the most natural thing, but it may also sound like you're starting an argument. Mayhaps you should sit them down with a glass of wine and an appetizer, say you want to talk? To keep everyone level-headed."

“Maybe you’re right,” she replies, then looks up at him. “Are you volunteering to be a part of this?”

It would probably be helpful to have him there for support. Midge has never confronted her parents like this before.

"...what."

It's almost a squeal. Jaskier stares at Midge for a second or two, eyes wide and mouth opening and closing like a fish. He wasn't prepared for such a question and his first instinct is to say that is a terrible idea, but he can't just go for that answer when she's looking for support and comfort.

"Midge, I--" He takes a deep breath. "You know I want to support you in everything, right? I always want to be there for you when you need me. But this... won't they think I'm pushing you into this? Won't I be an outsider in a family matter?"

His shock at her question shocks her in turn. Wasn’t this his idea?

He’s right though. That’s exactly what they’ll think. And honestly, they won’t necessarily be wrong to do so.

“Is that not what you’re technically doing?”

Midge would have gone on with things as they are if Jaskier hadn’t said anything about it.

"I mean..."

A little sigh as he rubs his forehead. Dammit.

"Technically, sure. But I'm trying to inspire you to improve your life. To feel less shame about your choice. I want you to stand up for yourself because you feel it, and because you deserve it. Not just because I'm telling you to."

“I didn’t even realize that there was a problem until you convinced me that there might be one.”

Midge pauses, considering for a moment. “You’re trying not to antagonize them, which is probably for the best. They don’t need any more reasons to dislike you. I’ll figure out how and when I want to speak with them.”

"Oh, come on. You did agree that their comments hurt. I'm just trying to convince you to do something about it."

Jaskier nods at the rest - that makes sense. He doesn't expect her to just drop the topic over lunch tomorrow; it must be difficult to process. Even if she does this alone, he can't help but wonder if they'll blame his influence on her anyway.

After a pause, he cups her cheek. "How are you feeling?"

Midge sighs softly. “Drained,” she replies. It’s probably her own fault for bringing up serious topics on what was supposed to be a fun sexy night, but these are the intimate times when she and Jaskier are able to speak to each other about such things. “I’m going to take off my clothes. Lie with me?”

It's not like he didn't bring up the heavy subjects, too, so they're even. But as draining as it can be, it's a good sign to have someone they feel comfortable discussing these things with.

"Sorry, love." He meant it when he said he hates making her cry. "Of course. I shall always be your pillow." And he lies down on his own pile of pillows for extra comfortable cuddling.

“It’s alright.” Midge gives him a soft kiss before getting up.

After hanging his robe back up in the closet, Midge sits down on the edge of his bed. She unhooks the garters that are attached to her stockings, then pushes each stocking down her leg and off of her foot. Then, she unclasps the eyelets that are helping to hold the bodice on and pulls that up over her head. She folds the clothes and puts them nearly on Jaskier’s chair.

Now naked, Midge gets back into bed and cuddles up next to him. “I love being held by you.”

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