“By waterspout, obviously,” he said, standing up and handing her the flowers he’d been holding. He wished that he’d been able to hear her set a bit more and if she did include a lot of stuff about their relationship. She’d checked with him about anything she was going to make material out of so he wasn’t worried about that. She was just really, really funny and he liked hearing her new stuff.
“But you’re not itsy bitsy,” she replies, a smile playing at her lips as she takes the flowers from him. “Thank you. They’re beautiful.” Peter didn’t send her any tonight, and while Midge doesn’t expect him to, she’s kind of grown accustomed to it. She’d missed seeing the bouquet on her vanity tonight.
Midge can’t believe that he actually came, in costume. Otherwise, she supposes she’d have no idea he was actually there.
“Only the best for you. And I know roses are usually considered the best but carnations actually last a lot longer so you’ll see them more often,” Peter pointed out. Entirely true and not something that he had told her as Peter Parker. He went with the more traditional roses or other flowers since he figured that was a little more what Midge liked.
“I didn’t get to really hear it tonight but I did another night. Not quite what I expected but it was really good.”
“A lot more jokes about you being at the scenes of crimes for one thing. But I guess that’s just something you do for me,” he kidded her. Honestly he was glad that she hadn’t been involved in anymore but Spider-Man wouldn’t get to see her otherwise.
“I half expected you to get caught up in a gambling ring right in stage or something. Also, did not see the language and sex jokes coming but it was all really good.”
“Mmhmm,” Midge says. “That’s our special thing, isn’t it? Do you want an appearance in one of my future sets?” She can absolutely write some jokes about him, but she figured that he wouldn’t want that kind of exposure, even if what she has to say is positive.
“Thank you,” she says without any embarrassment about the content of her jokes. This is who she is. “I don’t think any criminals would dare to come near me with you around.”
Whew, Midge saying anything was “their special thing” was kind of hot. Or maybe it was just that Peter thought that everything Midge did was really hot. Probably the latter. If Midge hadn’t been with someone and they really did meet like this who knows what would have happened between them just now.
“You’re free to make some jokes about me. Probably best not to make it seem like you know me. I’d hate for someone to think they could get to me through you,” he said, which was a genuine concern he had. “But say whatever you want, couldn’t be worse than anything the Bugle says.”
It was flirtatious, but Midge figures there’s no harm in that. He seems to be respectful of the fact that she has a boyfriend.
“Do you have enemies?” she asks. Midge imagines that most criminals aren’t fond of him. “My boyfriend works for The Bugle. He’s only a photographer, but maybe he can tell them to stop printing lies about you since you saved his girlfriend twice.”
She imagines that won’t really do much, but it’s worth a shot. Spider Man doesn’t deserve the negative press that he gets.
"Oh, that's your guy? The one that takes pictures of me so that the Bugle
has images to run for the horrible stories they write about me? 'Spider-Cad
Flirts With Taken Woman'," he said, gesturing with his hands. That had been
the headline after the whole bank thing. He actually found it
really amusing, especially when he got to tease Midge a little as Peter.
"But no, that's not a problem. I mean like actual criminals I'm responsible
for sending to prison."
Midge was pretty pissed about that headline, actually. They even named her. Susie said if they were going to do that, they at least should have mentioned that she was a comedian. All promotion is good promotion in her eyes.
“That caused so many issues,” she grumbles. Joel had seen it too, and he had no idea she was dating someone. Of course he had a million questions. Her parents had a million and one questions. Despite the fact that she wants to be a famous performer, she likes keeping her private life private.
With how serious she and Peter are getting, Midge knew that introducing him to everyone was coming soon, but she wanted it to be on her terms.
“Is that why you stay anonymous?” Midge didn’t even think of that.
“Yeah, sorry the editor-in-chief’s personal crusade against me affected you,” Peter said, genuinely regretting that. Honestly he didn’t care too much about what was printed about him, at least to an extent, but others should be left out of it.
“Oh yeah. It’s to keep my friends and family safe. And any potential romantic partners. Also the police would arrest me instantly if they knew who I was and where I lived.”
“It’s okay,” she says. Midge knows it wasn’t Spider Man’s fault. He can’t help what the press says about him anymore than she can help what is said about her.
“Is what you do technically illegal?” Midge asks. “Or are they just upset that you’re doing more to fight crime than they are?
“Do you have a romantic partner?” Midge has to ask, at least.
“Mmmm, gray area,” he said, wobbling his hand back and forth in a “kinda” motion. Honestly he wasn’t sure about the legality or not. A regular citizen could stop a crime if they wanted, couldn’t they? It didn’t really matter because he wouldn’t stop if it was illegal.
“Romantic partner? Well I do have dibs on a drop-dead gorgeous comedian and that’s all I need right now,” he said, which was true. Peter had dibs on Midge, right?
"They can arrest you for a gray area, but they have to charge you with something. If you haven't broken any laws, they'll have to release you." Don't ask how she knows that, Spider Man.
The corner of her mouth curls up in a smile. "You're content being second in line?" she asks. "I'd say you could probably take my boyfriend in a fight, but he's surprisingly strong."
Spider Man's body type is actually very similar to Peter's, now that she thinks about it.
“Yeah, after they’ve unmasked me and exposed who I am to the world so that my life is kinda ruined,” Peter said. He also didn’t trust that the police and the DA wouldn’t find something to charge him with. He was probably even guilty of a few things.
“Is he ‘lift a car’ surprisingly strong or ‘dodge a bullet’ fast? Wait if I fight him and win do I get to date you?”
“I guess you’re right,” Midge says, “but you’d think they’d want your help instead of seeing you as an enemy. You can really do all that?” Why wouldn’t the police or the FBI want to have someone who has those abilities working for them?
She laughs at the idea of Spider Man and Peter fighting over her, though the thought of two men fighting over her is delicious.
“You know, there’s something I find very attractive about you, but Peter’s such a swell guy. He’s very good to me.”
“All that and more. I am pretty amazing. Some would say spectacular even. Just like some people might say you’re marvelous. That’s me, I’m saying it,” Peter said with a nod. “The Spectacular Spider-Man and the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” had a good ring to it. Too bad that couldn’t go on the towel or something. But Peter did think she was marvelous and more.
“I’m sure he’s perfect acceptable,” he told her, sitting down in the chair before looking at her with chin hands. “Tell me more thought about how you think I’m very attractive?”
Midge laughs and shakes her head at his reaction. Somehow, he manages to make her flustered.
“He’s more than acceptable, I can promise you that.” If he thinks that’s an allusion to sex, he would be correct. “You’re obviously bold in a lot of ways. Very confident. I’m sure you know that confidence is sexy.”
Well, it was nice to hear that she said he was more than acceptable. He really did have the best girlfriend ever and to hear her brag on him him was a pretty big ego boost.
“Sexy confidence? I’ll take that. Plus women like a man in a suit, right? Speaking of confidence… how is yours? I wanted to offer to take you for a swing sometime.”
“Yeah, my webs. You know statistically public speaking is people’s greatest fear and since you do that, this should be no big deal,” he pointed out. Of course it might not be wise to let her cling close to him, Midge knew his body better than he did so hold him might feel very familiar.
“Just think about it. You can ask your slightly-more-than-adequate boyfriend, he’s photographed me carrying multiple people so it’s no problem.”
Speaking in front of a crowd is much less terrifying for her than heights, especially heights where she's not standing on something or strapped into something. It's not that she doesn't trust him. It's just that he's really high up sometimes.
“Of course. It’s the least I can do since you invited me to come watch you work,” he said. Midge MIGHT agree to swing with him once he let her know that it was him behind the mask but he didn’t think she would be too keen on it and he was very fine with that.
“Just tell your boyfriend and he can get word to me one of the times he snaps my picture.”
"Sure. He might be a little jealous of you if he knew you were in my dressing room right now." She smiles, thinking about Peter. "He's a confident guy, but he also can't believe that we're actually dating."
Why is she telling Spider Man this? Midge isn't sure, other than there's something about him that reminds her very much of Peter, and she's starting to put a few puzzle pieces together in her mind.
“Oh, I hope he gets more than a little jealous about it if you tell him,” Peter teased. Spider-Man was a bit of a rascal so he felt comfortable saying something like that to Midge. Plus despite all the flirting he didn’t think he was coming on too strong or pushy.
“Speaking of being in your room, I should probably go. Crime doesn’t wait for me shooting my shot at my crush.”
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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“But see, I told you that I’d come.”
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Midge can’t believe that he actually came, in costume. Otherwise, she supposes she’d have no idea he was actually there.
“What did you think of my set?”
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“Only the best for you. And I know roses are usually considered the best but carnations actually last a lot longer so you’ll see them more often,” Peter pointed out. Entirely true and not something that he had told her as Peter Parker. He went with the more traditional roses or other flowers since he figured that was a little more what Midge liked.
“I didn’t get to really hear it tonight but I did another night. Not quite what I expected but it was really good.”
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Midge sits down next to him. “You came to another one of my shows?” she asks, surprised. Was it with his mask off? “What were you expecting?”
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“A lot more jokes about you being at the scenes of crimes for one thing. But I guess that’s just something you do for me,” he kidded her. Honestly he was glad that she hadn’t been involved in anymore but Spider-Man wouldn’t get to see her otherwise.
“I half expected you to get caught up in a gambling ring right in stage or something. Also, did not see the language and sex jokes coming but it was all really good.”
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“Thank you,” she says without any embarrassment about the content of her jokes. This is who she is. “I don’t think any criminals would dare to come near me with you around.”
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“You’re free to make some jokes about me. Probably best not to make it seem like you know me. I’d hate for someone to think they could get to me through you,” he said, which was a genuine concern he had. “But say whatever you want, couldn’t be worse than anything the Bugle says.”
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“Do you have enemies?” she asks. Midge imagines that most criminals aren’t fond of him. “My boyfriend works for The Bugle. He’s only a photographer, but maybe he can tell them to stop printing lies about you since you saved his girlfriend twice.”
She imagines that won’t really do much, but it’s worth a shot. Spider Man doesn’t deserve the negative press that he gets.
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"Oh, that's your guy? The one that takes pictures of me so that the Bugle has images to run for the horrible stories they write about me? 'Spider-Cad Flirts With Taken Woman'," he said, gesturing with his hands. That had been the headline after the whole bank thing. He actually found it really amusing, especially when he got to tease Midge a little as Peter.
"But no, that's not a problem. I mean like actual criminals I'm responsible for sending to prison."
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“That caused so many issues,” she grumbles. Joel had seen it too, and he had no idea she was dating someone. Of course he had a million questions. Her parents had a million and one questions. Despite the fact that she wants to be a famous performer, she likes keeping her private life private.
With how serious she and Peter are getting, Midge knew that introducing him to everyone was coming soon, but she wanted it to be on her terms.
“Is that why you stay anonymous?” Midge didn’t even think of that.
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“Oh yeah. It’s to keep my friends and family safe. And any potential romantic partners. Also the police would arrest me instantly if they knew who I was and where I lived.”
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“Is what you do technically illegal?” Midge asks. “Or are they just upset that you’re doing more to fight crime than they are?
“Do you have a romantic partner?” Midge has to ask, at least.
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“Mmmm, gray area,” he said, wobbling his hand back and forth in a “kinda” motion. Honestly he wasn’t sure about the legality or not. A regular citizen could stop a crime if they wanted, couldn’t they? It didn’t really matter because he wouldn’t stop if it was illegal.
“Romantic partner? Well I do have dibs on a drop-dead gorgeous comedian and that’s all I need right now,” he said, which was true. Peter had dibs on Midge, right?
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The corner of her mouth curls up in a smile. "You're content being second in line?" she asks. "I'd say you could probably take my boyfriend in a fight, but he's surprisingly strong."
Spider Man's body type is actually very similar to Peter's, now that she thinks about it.
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“Is he ‘lift a car’ surprisingly strong or ‘dodge a bullet’ fast? Wait if I fight him and win do I get to date you?”
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She laughs at the idea of Spider Man and Peter fighting over her, though the thought of two men fighting over her is delicious.
“You know, there’s something I find very attractive about you, but Peter’s such a swell guy. He’s very good to me.”
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“I’m sure he’s perfect acceptable,” he told her, sitting down in the chair before looking at her with chin hands. “Tell me more thought about how you think I’m very attractive?”
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“He’s more than acceptable, I can promise you that.” If he thinks that’s an allusion to sex, he would be correct. “You’re obviously bold in a lot of ways. Very confident. I’m sure you know that confidence is sexy.”
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“Sexy confidence? I’ll take that. Plus women like a man in a suit, right? Speaking of confidence… how is yours? I wanted to offer to take you for a swing sometime.”
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That long string he hangs from? Where is it even attached to? Can it hold the weight of two people? Midge is… dubious.
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“Just think about it. You can ask your slightly-more-than-adequate boyfriend, he’s photographed me carrying multiple people so it’s no problem.”
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Speaking in front of a crowd is much less terrifying for her than heights, especially heights where she's not standing on something or strapped into something. It's not that she doesn't trust him. It's just that he's really high up sometimes.
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“Just tell your boyfriend and he can get word to me one of the times he snaps my picture.”
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Why is she telling Spider Man this? Midge isn't sure, other than there's something about him that reminds her very much of Peter, and she's starting to put a few puzzle pieces together in her mind.
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“Speaking of being in your room, I should probably go. Crime doesn’t wait for me shooting my shot at my crush.”
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